winging it...

There comes a time or cycle in the dating after divorce where you hit the pity party slump and realize that your pillow has now become your bedmate. You've named him "Bob" because he has no arms or legs, doesn't complain if you steal the covers or even snore...Yes, pretty pathetic I know. So, in the slump you try everything out there: the dating services, the friends, the on line stuff...it's like you are on a mission. Well, I had hit that slump or bump and I was going to go for it all!

I joined an online dating service that was pretty exclusive and had a limited pool of members who all shared one common interest: they enjoyed keeping fit! No, not 12 oz curls daily or running to the toilet, but really keeping fit. My routine had consisted of biking, golfing and yoga so I considered myself fit and worthy of membership...paid, of course!! It wasn't like the match or plentyof fish site with a fresh meat hanging in the market feel or photos that were years old or even trying to figure out if these guys were who they said they were. No, this was real and the photos of member, answers to the profile questions told the truth. So, I was happy to join and have someone else do some of the filtering for me. Life is short and might as well try every avenue, right?

So, a few weeks into this online thing I had a message from a guy Matt saying he liked my profile and picture...yeah, yeah, yeah...you and everyone else who has responded. Thanks...be original!! But, he looked somewhat familar. Do I know you? Maybe we have met? I'm not sure because in my job I meet lots of people and I am almost positive we have met. Okay, just keep it simple and respond back politely. Done.

Later that very week the dating service called and asked if I could do dinner say Thursday night with an architect, Matt, age 43, divorced and 2 children. Are you serious? I think that's the same guy I have been sent the message from the online site. How coincidental is that? Well, not believing in coincidences or the fickle finger of fate, but the hand of God I felt this must be a sign!! Sure, maybe I am suppose to really meet this guy! The arrangements were made to meet and possibly dine at a posh wine bar/ restaurant near the ocean front. I had been there only once before but had a nice time there with the friends.

I arrived before Matt and placed myself at the bar with some really fun folks gathering after five. No, I didn't know any of them but had already accepted the invitation if things didn't work out with Matt, I could join their party! GREAT!! Matt was casually late and looked exactly like his photo. A runners physique for sure, tall and thin with a nice smile. We decided to grab a table where it would be more intimate for getting to know one another. Matt truly was just what he stated in his profile. I could tell from our first few minutes, he was exactly a no bull or flowering, fluffing the stuff kindof guy. Black and white...no grey!

So as the waitress came to take our drink order, I asked for a nice glass of pinot noir. Matt, on the other hand, asked for a Miller Light. WHAT? We are at a wine bar/ restaurant...posh at that...and you order a Miller Light!Oh my...I think this could be an arising issue. The little waitress was taken aback, like me, and said she would see if they had them. She politely returned to announce they were sold out...yeah right, they don't even stock that!! She asked for an alternative and he said a Budweiser. Holy crap...you went from low to lower on the beer totem pole. I'm not a beer snob, wine snob, or drink snob at all but I have learned a little bit of what not to do. When in Rome? Ever heard of that one Matt? Nope, he kept on with the cheap, domestic stuff.

As if that weren't bad enough, but managable, we proceeded to peruse the menu and decide what appetizer to endulge in for the evening. No, we would not be sharing and no, I'm not feeding you and you aren't feeding me. I decided a she crap soup would be nice and a few pita slices with humus would do just fine. Matt, however, decided on chicken wings. OMG...are you serious? You ordered a cheap a*s beer and now chicken wings!! Why didn't you just suggest Hooters? They have exactly what you like..cheap beer, chicken wings and even half dressed women for dessert!! Friends, we have just crashed!!

I tried to endure the remainder of the night, listening to his fly-fishing stories, this and that. To be quite honest, I don't think I was tuned in at all...I think I was just eating my soup, half way listening and wishing I could ditch this guy and go hang out at the bar with those folks who really were interesting!! My one hour time was nearly up with Matt and I was ready for the check! Our little waitress came over to settle up and wish us well for the night. As she handed Matt the bill, he asked "How do you want to handle this?" I said I would be happy to pay for my drink and appetizers. He suggested we split the bill in half. Looking back that seems generous of him to some degree, but I was thinking "NO WAY AM I PAYING FOR HALF YOUR CHEAP A*S BEER AND CHICKEN WINGS!!"

The night was a total lead balloon!! So much for winging it...now this has a whole new meaning!!:-)