Sunday, January 24, 2010
back to the book...
After two dozen posts to see what the interest level out there is, I have decided to further the actual book...yeah! Thanks for letting me know by virtue of passing the site around that yes, cheesy girl sh*t of an ordinary girl living an extraordinary life is somewhat of an amusing read. What you have read on the blog site are dates, now it's time to dive into the relationship perspective of dating! No change in the name of the book "The Adventures of OneDate WonderGirl-life post divorce". Wishing you all well and a HUGE THANK YOU!! Feel free to continue sharing the site and the laughs!!:-)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sh*t happens...
I met this guy Russ through a friend of a friend and at the first few moments we hit it off. Over several weeks we met for lunch and had great conversations and laughing, sharing and enjoying just quick outings together. Russ invited me for a weekend golf excursion and I accepted. Truth be told, I was really nervous! I had never stayed the night at a guy’s house in years and had no idea of expectations, but assumed he might be thinking more than maybe what I was. I was excited to play a new golf course and just have some time away from the big house that would be childless that weekend. I had to work on Friday at a special event and would end up driving the hour plus to the cottage. The plan was we would do golf on Saturday morning and go from there.
Friday came and I was extremely busy with work. It was over 100 degrees and entertaining almost 750 people for the special event was tiresome to say the least. I took a break in between to grab some BBQ that was provided complete with good ol’ baked beans and fried chicken! It was a quick grab of potato salad and the fixin’s while I was pulled in many different directions, putting out small fires while having a smiling face and saying multiple thank you’s to all present. To be quite honest, it was somewhat draining emotionally and physically, although rewarding in many ways given my line of work. It only happens once a year so well worth the stresses for the day! By the end of the night, however, I was certainly ready to walk into a relaxing weekend plus a nice warm bath.
On the drive down to the beach cottage, I kept playing scenarios in my head: “how is this going to work?” I know the cottage is a three bedroom, one bathroom older beach cottage and we are the only ones there for the weekend, but who’s going to sleep where? I hadn't really thought of logistics until the drive down. I knew Russ a little, but not enough to honestly stay the night in the same bed with. What was I thinking when I agreed to go down for the night? All I want to do is get a bath, relax for a bit, get up and play a round of golf in the morning! Not so sure I am going to be the best of company and mouse olympics is more than likely out of my party plans, but I will certainly be ready for a good game in the morning. So, I just kept driving…looking forward to maybe a glass of wine, hot bath and a good night’s rest! I could figure the rest out later.
When I arrived at the cottage, Russ met me at the door and explained there were some problems with the family cottage. Evidently there was a plumbing issue and he was trying to fix a leak in the bath tub himself. Okay, so I will not be getting that much desired bath right away, but here’s a chance for you and I to get to know each other more and work on a project together. Good God…that bathroom was torn apart! The fixtures were off the wall, lying on the floor and the toilet was intact, but running at a constant pace, water everywhere even with the valve off! For the first hour or so I was handing tools to Russ while he tried to piece together the mess in front of me and we were both trying not to be impatient with the process. Remember I was dirty, stinky and really only wanting a bath or shower at least- fun meter beginning to rise to red and the tiredness was starting to build! Poor Russ was trying his best to get the plumbing issue resolved, but I decided to bail out before things got ugly. Probably the best deal for both of us. I know how I get when things aren't going my way: a few too many f-bombs dropped, a tendency to have a hammer "fix" it all or even scissors. So I did the big girl thing and ventured to the guest room, passed out, literally exhausted from the day.
At some point in the night I awoke to some rumbling in my stomach. Oh, no! I think I need to “go.” No low numbers here, I think this is going to be a “get up and make your move quick” moment! Russ was no where to be seen or heard, so I tried to quietly race to the bathroom for quick bombing, courtesy flush and loss of at least two pounds. Not so easy, missy! As I entered the bathroom, I realized the toilet was now missing! What? What happened? Where did it go? Oh it was there, in the hallway towards the little kitchen, but not where it was suppose to be. I freaked!! I had an “issue” that needed to be resolved and resolved quickly! So, I did what probably anyone would do…I took a little grocery bag and headed to the great outdoors where lots of opportunities to take care of business were abound! I had no choice! Holy crap, Batman…what am I doing? Quickly too…time is of the essence!
Okay, so I did what had to be done. No waiting, no looking for the appropriate place, just did it. Same as that day of my half marathon between the concrete pilings for crowd control. As a former marathoner, there’s no shame in going when nature calls. I see lots of “opportunities” for taking care of business; forget the “tp” or privacy to a certain degree, just do it! So, into the baggie I go. Tied up just like the doggie treasures from a neighbor’s walk of the dog, I went…behind a bush in the back of the beach cottage under the moonlight. I placed the baggie by the back of my vehicle tire to dispose of properly at the time of departure. No one would know. I wouldn't mention it to Russ at all, he would never know, and I was relieved…even lost probably that two pounds thanks to the BBQ and heat combo!
Back into the guest room I go, no stirring or sound from Russ, thankfully. But, man did I feel like I really could use that shower now! YUCK! When you aren’t feeling your best, the last thing you want to do is be in someplace other than home! Nope, I was at the cottage of a guy I barely knew, an hour plus away from my own bed with no running water in the bathroom and some major stomach issues. I had paid the toll and was worried that now I might be driving for quite a while, if you know what I mean! I tossed and turned all night! I am certain I didn’t get more than three hours sleep--not good for the eight hour a night girl!
Finally morning came and I awoke to what most do: the call of nature. But wait, no water and the toilet was still in the hall. WTF? Russ had been up before daylight trying his best to get it all going. I don’t know what the problem was; that’s not my area of expertise! I can hand a tool and smile while doing it even with bed head; yes I know the difference between Thomas and Phillip, but no clue on what the hell is making this leak. I just know it’s not working right! Fix it and fix it now!! Please!! Nope, major issues! So, I went outside again…yep! To the great wild: birds chirping, sun rising and a sea salt spray in the air…aaaauuuughhh..relief! The only way this could have been any worse than what it was would be the addition of the monthly "crimson tide." Thank you, Lord for at least not that!
Russ tried his best, bless his heart. Golf was not going to happen. There were more pressing issues that had to be taken care of and his family cottage had issues far greater than my own. He brewed coffee and said that at nine o’clock the closest hardware store would open and he could get the parts needed to fix the plumbing. Unfortunately at this point I was just trying to deal with my own issues and decided it was time for me to leave. I politely said that I would be glad to take the trash out, knowing full well I would be adding my own little baggie, and call it a day Time for me to go to my own home, shower and catch up later or another day. I gathered my things and headed out on the drive back home. I never heard from Russ again. Oh well...sh*t happens!
Friday came and I was extremely busy with work. It was over 100 degrees and entertaining almost 750 people for the special event was tiresome to say the least. I took a break in between to grab some BBQ that was provided complete with good ol’ baked beans and fried chicken! It was a quick grab of potato salad and the fixin’s while I was pulled in many different directions, putting out small fires while having a smiling face and saying multiple thank you’s to all present. To be quite honest, it was somewhat draining emotionally and physically, although rewarding in many ways given my line of work. It only happens once a year so well worth the stresses for the day! By the end of the night, however, I was certainly ready to walk into a relaxing weekend plus a nice warm bath.
On the drive down to the beach cottage, I kept playing scenarios in my head: “how is this going to work?” I know the cottage is a three bedroom, one bathroom older beach cottage and we are the only ones there for the weekend, but who’s going to sleep where? I hadn't really thought of logistics until the drive down. I knew Russ a little, but not enough to honestly stay the night in the same bed with. What was I thinking when I agreed to go down for the night? All I want to do is get a bath, relax for a bit, get up and play a round of golf in the morning! Not so sure I am going to be the best of company and mouse olympics is more than likely out of my party plans, but I will certainly be ready for a good game in the morning. So, I just kept driving…looking forward to maybe a glass of wine, hot bath and a good night’s rest! I could figure the rest out later.
When I arrived at the cottage, Russ met me at the door and explained there were some problems with the family cottage. Evidently there was a plumbing issue and he was trying to fix a leak in the bath tub himself. Okay, so I will not be getting that much desired bath right away, but here’s a chance for you and I to get to know each other more and work on a project together. Good God…that bathroom was torn apart! The fixtures were off the wall, lying on the floor and the toilet was intact, but running at a constant pace, water everywhere even with the valve off! For the first hour or so I was handing tools to Russ while he tried to piece together the mess in front of me and we were both trying not to be impatient with the process. Remember I was dirty, stinky and really only wanting a bath or shower at least- fun meter beginning to rise to red and the tiredness was starting to build! Poor Russ was trying his best to get the plumbing issue resolved, but I decided to bail out before things got ugly. Probably the best deal for both of us. I know how I get when things aren't going my way: a few too many f-bombs dropped, a tendency to have a hammer "fix" it all or even scissors. So I did the big girl thing and ventured to the guest room, passed out, literally exhausted from the day.
At some point in the night I awoke to some rumbling in my stomach. Oh, no! I think I need to “go.” No low numbers here, I think this is going to be a “get up and make your move quick” moment! Russ was no where to be seen or heard, so I tried to quietly race to the bathroom for quick bombing, courtesy flush and loss of at least two pounds. Not so easy, missy! As I entered the bathroom, I realized the toilet was now missing! What? What happened? Where did it go? Oh it was there, in the hallway towards the little kitchen, but not where it was suppose to be. I freaked!! I had an “issue” that needed to be resolved and resolved quickly! So, I did what probably anyone would do…I took a little grocery bag and headed to the great outdoors where lots of opportunities to take care of business were abound! I had no choice! Holy crap, Batman…what am I doing? Quickly too…time is of the essence!
Okay, so I did what had to be done. No waiting, no looking for the appropriate place, just did it. Same as that day of my half marathon between the concrete pilings for crowd control. As a former marathoner, there’s no shame in going when nature calls. I see lots of “opportunities” for taking care of business; forget the “tp” or privacy to a certain degree, just do it! So, into the baggie I go. Tied up just like the doggie treasures from a neighbor’s walk of the dog, I went…behind a bush in the back of the beach cottage under the moonlight. I placed the baggie by the back of my vehicle tire to dispose of properly at the time of departure. No one would know. I wouldn't mention it to Russ at all, he would never know, and I was relieved…even lost probably that two pounds thanks to the BBQ and heat combo!
Back into the guest room I go, no stirring or sound from Russ, thankfully. But, man did I feel like I really could use that shower now! YUCK! When you aren’t feeling your best, the last thing you want to do is be in someplace other than home! Nope, I was at the cottage of a guy I barely knew, an hour plus away from my own bed with no running water in the bathroom and some major stomach issues. I had paid the toll and was worried that now I might be driving for quite a while, if you know what I mean! I tossed and turned all night! I am certain I didn’t get more than three hours sleep--not good for the eight hour a night girl!
Finally morning came and I awoke to what most do: the call of nature. But wait, no water and the toilet was still in the hall. WTF? Russ had been up before daylight trying his best to get it all going. I don’t know what the problem was; that’s not my area of expertise! I can hand a tool and smile while doing it even with bed head; yes I know the difference between Thomas and Phillip, but no clue on what the hell is making this leak. I just know it’s not working right! Fix it and fix it now!! Please!! Nope, major issues! So, I went outside again…yep! To the great wild: birds chirping, sun rising and a sea salt spray in the air…aaaauuuughhh..relief! The only way this could have been any worse than what it was would be the addition of the monthly "crimson tide." Thank you, Lord for at least not that!
Russ tried his best, bless his heart. Golf was not going to happen. There were more pressing issues that had to be taken care of and his family cottage had issues far greater than my own. He brewed coffee and said that at nine o’clock the closest hardware store would open and he could get the parts needed to fix the plumbing. Unfortunately at this point I was just trying to deal with my own issues and decided it was time for me to leave. I politely said that I would be glad to take the trash out, knowing full well I would be adding my own little baggie, and call it a day Time for me to go to my own home, shower and catch up later or another day. I gathered my things and headed out on the drive back home. I never heard from Russ again. Oh well...sh*t happens!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Live and learn...what not to do!!
As a newly divorced mom, I tried to engage in all sorts of activities with my kids to venture out into our great community and even keep a few tickets of local events aside for date potentials: hockey, baseball, opera, etc. As fate would have it, I met someone and decided to try a nice date night out…my treat at the opera. The party plans consisted of a nice appetizer and drinks prior to opera, followed by whatever the night would bring.
Taking two cars didn’t make sense, so just pick me up at my home and we would go from there to the restaurant and opera. I didn’t have the kids that weekend, so I felt comfortable with Rick picking me up at the house. I felt like Cinderella coming down the stairs-- all dressed in beautiful evening wear, hair and make up done elegantly but not too much-- as the doorbell rang. Believe it or not, all girls love to get dressed up for a nice night out; I am no exception! When I opened the door, I was standing in front of one of the most handsome men on the planet! WOW!! He looked amazing!! I invited him in for a quick hello to grab my coat and purse. We were out the door in fifteen minutes tops, heading towards a nice cultural night out on the town.
The drive into the city was comfortable and filled with easy conversation. I was quite interested in learning more of Rick and his interests, hobbies, life, etc. and the drive was an opportunity to do just that. Rick was an engineering professional and described his work as multi-disciplinary, with many players adding to projects for success and completion. Much of it, honestly, I didn’t understand but was intrigued by a world I knew very little about. His explaining of it all was on a level I could understand somewhat, but more involved in details than I could comprehend. The nice thing about the drive was our sharing and despite the foreign language of engineering I was learning, he didn’t talk louder and slower! Conversely, it had been years since I had seen an Italian opera and I was looking forward to testing my language skills after many years of my proficiency in that foreign language.
We arrived at the small restaurant for appetizers and sat at a little table across from the bar. We ordered a glass of wine and appetizer to share. No, I didn’t feed him and he didn’t feed me! (Learning there are rules with that too!!) After our short time there, the opera was about to begin and we would need to make our way to our ticketed seats. Off in the car we go again to start the cultural experience. Once at the opera house, we checked our coats and mingled with a few others. By far we were some of the youngest in attendance for this evening. Hmm….okay, so I paid for season tickets and now I am going to be hanging with the geriatric crowd for the winter! What was I thinking? And a date night…uugh, he must think I am absolutely crazy!! I confess, although not catholic as mentioned MANY times before, some of my ideas are not the greatest! We took our front row, balcony seats and got cozy for the show.
As the opera began, I was catching bits and pieces of the translations realizing thankfully there is a translation slide ongoing. Rick did not speak a word of Italian and if it were not for the translations on screen, he would have been totally lost! The viewing of the opera was incredible, however, and we were close enough to enjoy the show, up close and personal! It was nothing like my college days where I was in the “rounded in Rome” theatre. I was seated next to a guy that couldn’t wait to get out of there and I was enjoying the show, but couldn’t wait to escape either! So not what a great date should be like! At intermission we both agreed on a glass of wine and questioned if maybe two would not only do the trick to get us through the night, but make it more enjoyable. I am certain Rick was getting a headache from reading the translations and I was by far trying hard to fight one off by translating in my head!
Finally the opera was over and applause was granted by the audience. The lights were dim and attendees began stirring. Rick recognized that many moving about could barely navigate the area under the lighting situation and he began ushering those to a safe route. Wow- that’s impressive! Yes, I stood awaiting our exit opportunity as he assisted in those making their way to the hall and stairway. Despite what you may think, I was thinking his parents raised a true gentleman and if I could thank them at this moment I would! He did the right thing at the right time, helping others for safety and being absolutely considerate, putting his desires aside. Lucky me to have a night out with him enduring this and yet rising to the occasion!! I’m sure if he was thinking like me…let’s blow this popsicle stand!....we would have been out of there faster than greased lightening. But, we were there patiently awaiting our turn to exit safely after our more senior friends.
After the whole opera experience, we decided to head back towards my home and our farewells. Not that exciting on an end of the date, as Rick politely escorted me to my door and declined an invitation to come in. It was an interesting night out that I decided never to repeat again. I came to the conclusion that although I tried to relieve some of the pressure of making a plan for a date, this one was a “what not to do” ever again. It might be reserved for an occasional special night few and far between with many years in between, but certainly not the thing to do while getting to know someone. So yes, I made a mistake yet again in the dating realm and admit it. Poor Rick and I never ventured again...I confess my annual tickets were not renewed either. Live and learn!
Taking two cars didn’t make sense, so just pick me up at my home and we would go from there to the restaurant and opera. I didn’t have the kids that weekend, so I felt comfortable with Rick picking me up at the house. I felt like Cinderella coming down the stairs-- all dressed in beautiful evening wear, hair and make up done elegantly but not too much-- as the doorbell rang. Believe it or not, all girls love to get dressed up for a nice night out; I am no exception! When I opened the door, I was standing in front of one of the most handsome men on the planet! WOW!! He looked amazing!! I invited him in for a quick hello to grab my coat and purse. We were out the door in fifteen minutes tops, heading towards a nice cultural night out on the town.
The drive into the city was comfortable and filled with easy conversation. I was quite interested in learning more of Rick and his interests, hobbies, life, etc. and the drive was an opportunity to do just that. Rick was an engineering professional and described his work as multi-disciplinary, with many players adding to projects for success and completion. Much of it, honestly, I didn’t understand but was intrigued by a world I knew very little about. His explaining of it all was on a level I could understand somewhat, but more involved in details than I could comprehend. The nice thing about the drive was our sharing and despite the foreign language of engineering I was learning, he didn’t talk louder and slower! Conversely, it had been years since I had seen an Italian opera and I was looking forward to testing my language skills after many years of my proficiency in that foreign language.
We arrived at the small restaurant for appetizers and sat at a little table across from the bar. We ordered a glass of wine and appetizer to share. No, I didn’t feed him and he didn’t feed me! (Learning there are rules with that too!!) After our short time there, the opera was about to begin and we would need to make our way to our ticketed seats. Off in the car we go again to start the cultural experience. Once at the opera house, we checked our coats and mingled with a few others. By far we were some of the youngest in attendance for this evening. Hmm….okay, so I paid for season tickets and now I am going to be hanging with the geriatric crowd for the winter! What was I thinking? And a date night…uugh, he must think I am absolutely crazy!! I confess, although not catholic as mentioned MANY times before, some of my ideas are not the greatest! We took our front row, balcony seats and got cozy for the show.
As the opera began, I was catching bits and pieces of the translations realizing thankfully there is a translation slide ongoing. Rick did not speak a word of Italian and if it were not for the translations on screen, he would have been totally lost! The viewing of the opera was incredible, however, and we were close enough to enjoy the show, up close and personal! It was nothing like my college days where I was in the “rounded in Rome” theatre. I was seated next to a guy that couldn’t wait to get out of there and I was enjoying the show, but couldn’t wait to escape either! So not what a great date should be like! At intermission we both agreed on a glass of wine and questioned if maybe two would not only do the trick to get us through the night, but make it more enjoyable. I am certain Rick was getting a headache from reading the translations and I was by far trying hard to fight one off by translating in my head!
Finally the opera was over and applause was granted by the audience. The lights were dim and attendees began stirring. Rick recognized that many moving about could barely navigate the area under the lighting situation and he began ushering those to a safe route. Wow- that’s impressive! Yes, I stood awaiting our exit opportunity as he assisted in those making their way to the hall and stairway. Despite what you may think, I was thinking his parents raised a true gentleman and if I could thank them at this moment I would! He did the right thing at the right time, helping others for safety and being absolutely considerate, putting his desires aside. Lucky me to have a night out with him enduring this and yet rising to the occasion!! I’m sure if he was thinking like me…let’s blow this popsicle stand!....we would have been out of there faster than greased lightening. But, we were there patiently awaiting our turn to exit safely after our more senior friends.
After the whole opera experience, we decided to head back towards my home and our farewells. Not that exciting on an end of the date, as Rick politely escorted me to my door and declined an invitation to come in. It was an interesting night out that I decided never to repeat again. I came to the conclusion that although I tried to relieve some of the pressure of making a plan for a date, this one was a “what not to do” ever again. It might be reserved for an occasional special night few and far between with many years in between, but certainly not the thing to do while getting to know someone. So yes, I made a mistake yet again in the dating realm and admit it. Poor Rick and I never ventured again...I confess my annual tickets were not renewed either. Live and learn!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Focus...please!
On line dating is a whole new world and experience I never thought I would be into let alone even try. Having mentioned in a previous posting I had put my profile out there in cyberspace and was like fresh meat hanging in the market, gaining a second job without pay; I had filtered through my share of interested parties over the trial period with no success...unlike a few of my friends. One guy and I exchanged numbers after a few back and forth online notes. Finally we agreed to meet at a coffee shop not too far from my office. I was looking forward to meeting him face to face and seeing if there was any sort of chemistry.
Rob said he would be wearing jeans and a white shirt so I would know who he was. Coming from work mid afternoon, I would be in a suit. As I headed into the bookstore/ coffee shop I saw this guy standing on the outside with a white shirt and jeans smoking. Oh, please do not let that be him! I’m not at all interested in getting to know someone who has a habit like that because I have no desire to kiss an ashtray today or tomorrow! Should I turn around and go back to my car? No. I said would be here and I am, so just go in. I walked around the shop looking for an exit route just in case then headed to the coffee area.
As I looked around I saw another guy resembling the on line photo of Rob somewhat. Yes, white shirt and jeans on…that must be him. He stood up and introduced himself as I ordered my coffee. Thank goodness it’s not the smoking guy! But, there’s something different about him. We started to talk and I asked about the photos posted, remarking that he seems is a bit older and thinner than what those photos showed. Oh, yeah…the one with the boy at the beach was taken a few years back. Not the eight year old anymore, the kid is in college! What? You must be joking! You posted a ten year old photo thinking you still look the same? My photos are from the last two years and I don’t look that different. I haven’t taken to bon-bons and twinkies! You, Rob, however look not only older but much thinner!
And, what’s with your lack of eye contact? Can’t you look at me? Your eyes are wandering uncontrollably. Focus, please. Look me in the eyes when you are talking to me! What's dishonest here? For the record, it wasn’t the normal eye wandering while checking out the scenery, but an unnatural blinking and focusing disorder. This is weird! I am trying to have a conversation with you, but it appears as if you are out somewhere in left field and unable to look me in the eyes while talking. Is it a nervous disorder or is it something else? Whatever the case is, focus…you on me, me on you. Nope, not happening!
Okay, try to move beyond that one missy and get to know him. No chemistry feelings here but maybe those intriguing chats on line meant something and it was perhaps an opportunity for a new friend. Not sure. Rob began to explain that he had been on several dates and hadn’t really met anyone who was what they appeared to be from their posted profile. Really? And, you think you do? I don’t think so. So far you have represented yourself to be ten years younger than reality by photos. What else is inaccurate? As I was trying to think about this one, Rob said he needed to use the restroom and would be back in a few. No problem, I’ll just have my coffee and wait. No big deal, nature calls us all.
Rob got up and ran off to the restroom, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. I sat enjoying my coffee as the minutes passed contemplating the date. Well, five minutes turned into twenty! No, not kidding nor exaggerating! I knew he was coming back at some point because he left his jacket. I sat waiting patiently, but realized I probably should have made it easier on him and just walked out. I was obviously not what he was looking for and should have saved him the embarassment or confrontation and just left; better yet, save yourself!! But, I didn’t…I waited for the humiliation and blow face to face. When he finally returned, he was whiter than a ghost and tried to explain he had some stomach issues and didn’t feel well. Oh, gross! I shook his hand and now I probably have cooties! Too late for "circle-circle-dot-dot!" Not only was he not what he appeared to be or represented himself to be, he was sick!
Rob began to explain he had been diagnosed with a serious health condition and now finds himself without a wife, kids gone off to college and alone. Apparently she left him when he got sick. (There’s a special place for people like her, but I won’t go there!) He began to explain some of the side effects of his treatment being both the eye and stomach condition and more. Now I was feeling bad for judging previously and selfishly nit-picking on something he had no control over. My job requires me to assist in quality of life issues for those sick and here I have met someone for a different purpose than what I thought. Going back to mom and dad sharing that sometimes we meet people to give, receive or just enjoy, but it is true we meet all for a purpose. Thanks mom and dad! (Oh, here's the silver lining thing or maybe making lemonade from lemons again!)
Shifting gears now to work mode, I began listening with a different reason. My attention went from my own desires to have him focus on me, but now I needed to focus on him for real. So the next thirty minutes or so of the so called date turned into work and that was it. Not too exciting on the personal front, but there for a greater sharing. I don’t believe in coincidences, the fickle finger of fate but do believe in the hand of God. Never saw him after that coffee date nor heard another word from him. I’m sure he was embarrassed somewhat, but although trying to live a normal life after diagnosis of a serious health issue, I was a little too close to it all and not dating material. He wasn’t a fit for me either, as I am a caretaker and giver to two children and certainly not willing at this point to take on a serious condition of someone I just met and have no real chemistry with. I guess there’s something to be said for the old pheromone phenomenon: it’s either there or it’s not. In this case, it was not there, but not a total loss. Perhaps the sharing was for a greater purpose...
Rob said he would be wearing jeans and a white shirt so I would know who he was. Coming from work mid afternoon, I would be in a suit. As I headed into the bookstore/ coffee shop I saw this guy standing on the outside with a white shirt and jeans smoking. Oh, please do not let that be him! I’m not at all interested in getting to know someone who has a habit like that because I have no desire to kiss an ashtray today or tomorrow! Should I turn around and go back to my car? No. I said would be here and I am, so just go in. I walked around the shop looking for an exit route just in case then headed to the coffee area.
As I looked around I saw another guy resembling the on line photo of Rob somewhat. Yes, white shirt and jeans on…that must be him. He stood up and introduced himself as I ordered my coffee. Thank goodness it’s not the smoking guy! But, there’s something different about him. We started to talk and I asked about the photos posted, remarking that he seems is a bit older and thinner than what those photos showed. Oh, yeah…the one with the boy at the beach was taken a few years back. Not the eight year old anymore, the kid is in college! What? You must be joking! You posted a ten year old photo thinking you still look the same? My photos are from the last two years and I don’t look that different. I haven’t taken to bon-bons and twinkies! You, Rob, however look not only older but much thinner!
And, what’s with your lack of eye contact? Can’t you look at me? Your eyes are wandering uncontrollably. Focus, please. Look me in the eyes when you are talking to me! What's dishonest here? For the record, it wasn’t the normal eye wandering while checking out the scenery, but an unnatural blinking and focusing disorder. This is weird! I am trying to have a conversation with you, but it appears as if you are out somewhere in left field and unable to look me in the eyes while talking. Is it a nervous disorder or is it something else? Whatever the case is, focus…you on me, me on you. Nope, not happening!
Okay, try to move beyond that one missy and get to know him. No chemistry feelings here but maybe those intriguing chats on line meant something and it was perhaps an opportunity for a new friend. Not sure. Rob began to explain that he had been on several dates and hadn’t really met anyone who was what they appeared to be from their posted profile. Really? And, you think you do? I don’t think so. So far you have represented yourself to be ten years younger than reality by photos. What else is inaccurate? As I was trying to think about this one, Rob said he needed to use the restroom and would be back in a few. No problem, I’ll just have my coffee and wait. No big deal, nature calls us all.
Rob got up and ran off to the restroom, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. I sat enjoying my coffee as the minutes passed contemplating the date. Well, five minutes turned into twenty! No, not kidding nor exaggerating! I knew he was coming back at some point because he left his jacket. I sat waiting patiently, but realized I probably should have made it easier on him and just walked out. I was obviously not what he was looking for and should have saved him the embarassment or confrontation and just left; better yet, save yourself!! But, I didn’t…I waited for the humiliation and blow face to face. When he finally returned, he was whiter than a ghost and tried to explain he had some stomach issues and didn’t feel well. Oh, gross! I shook his hand and now I probably have cooties! Too late for "circle-circle-dot-dot!" Not only was he not what he appeared to be or represented himself to be, he was sick!
Rob began to explain he had been diagnosed with a serious health condition and now finds himself without a wife, kids gone off to college and alone. Apparently she left him when he got sick. (There’s a special place for people like her, but I won’t go there!) He began to explain some of the side effects of his treatment being both the eye and stomach condition and more. Now I was feeling bad for judging previously and selfishly nit-picking on something he had no control over. My job requires me to assist in quality of life issues for those sick and here I have met someone for a different purpose than what I thought. Going back to mom and dad sharing that sometimes we meet people to give, receive or just enjoy, but it is true we meet all for a purpose. Thanks mom and dad! (Oh, here's the silver lining thing or maybe making lemonade from lemons again!)
Shifting gears now to work mode, I began listening with a different reason. My attention went from my own desires to have him focus on me, but now I needed to focus on him for real. So the next thirty minutes or so of the so called date turned into work and that was it. Not too exciting on the personal front, but there for a greater sharing. I don’t believe in coincidences, the fickle finger of fate but do believe in the hand of God. Never saw him after that coffee date nor heard another word from him. I’m sure he was embarrassed somewhat, but although trying to live a normal life after diagnosis of a serious health issue, I was a little too close to it all and not dating material. He wasn’t a fit for me either, as I am a caretaker and giver to two children and certainly not willing at this point to take on a serious condition of someone I just met and have no real chemistry with. I guess there’s something to be said for the old pheromone phenomenon: it’s either there or it’s not. In this case, it was not there, but not a total loss. Perhaps the sharing was for a greater purpose...
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