Date One: For Real…
My first date-after nearly 20 years: All I knew from the dating service was that he was six feet tall, 2 inches, about 185 pounds. Brown hair and blue eyes (like me). Recently divorced (like me). Had 3 children and enjoyed boating, tennis, traveling and keeping in shape. Was a professional and desired someone of the same caliber. That’s me!! With exception to tennis-golf is my thing! But, hey, we don’t have to share EVERYTHING in common, right?
The girls in my office directed me on what to wear the night before. Rule #1: No pantyhose! But, a cute black skirt, a nice colorful top and those sexy black shoes were a must! So, I followed their advice, laid everything out the night before and even sprinkled lavender on my pillow for a good night’s rest. Tomorrow would be the big day.
I woke thinking: this is going to be great! My prince charming was going to waltz in on the first date, knight in shining armor and I’ll be swept away-love at first sight. It’s every girls’ fantasies! We want to be rescued from the chaotic life we call normal. He will arrive and make it better-kiss away the pain and be sexy too! Tall, dark and handsome-that real dream guy! I had it all in my head! I don’t think I slept a wink, but was a good nervous, until morning arrived and getting dressed had to happen. So, I put on that cute little black skirt-compact cotton suit with the bright pink v-shaped top. Added a little glitter to the chest and my South China Sea pearls for a touch of elegance, even for lunch. Final touch: those spicy black Cole-Hahn shoes and I was good to go! Yippy- skippy! Ready or not prince charming, here I come!
The location was pre-arranged at a spot I had never been to. I looked over the lunch menu on line and was confident a nice Greek salad would do. I felt like a virgin in the whore-house….completely out of place and super nervous. But hey, this is a new experience and I am up for it! I arrived a bit early so I sat at the bar, drinking water with lemon. I curiously peered at each man approaching the meeting spot. “Is that him? No! Thank God!” One by one, men came and went, some I thought…”maybe...” “Oh, I hope not.” Maybe?” But, then he arrived. Strolling across the brick paved parkway and fountains with a confidence. I was immediately attracted to him, despite the cheesy sunglasses that were bigger than necessary for any day of sun. Dressed in a suit and walking tall-of course, he’s 6’2”, he walked in through the glass doors. He looked all the part of prince charming! We greeted each other with a polite “hello” and quick hand shake. (Are we doing business here?-Did I miss something? We checked in and sat at a table set aside for us.
Wow! He is a prince charming! Waltzed right in with confidence and dressed impeccably. He obviously is confident, smart and probably very successful. The suit is professionally cut, shoes to match (brown with blue pin stripes and a flattering-to match the eyes, light blue shirt) and not a hair out of place. Although I look like I have it together, this guy definitely does! He took the lead, following the wait staff to our cozy table in the back; like an unsure puppy, I am following. I am a nervous wreck. Normally steady on my feet, I am a bit shaky and palms sweating! Good thing I wore that sleeveless top! I think sweat was rolling down my underarms!
Shortly after being seated, he excused himself to the restroom to wash his hands….
Oh…get out! He is ducking out the back door- for real! What? Say it isn’t so! I’m cute…brown hair, blue eyes, smart, got a good job with a 401 (K), health benefits and savings…I have no physical disfigurements: two arms, two legs, physically fit and wearing a skirt-for Pete’s sake! My eyes blink at the same time and at a normal time interval. I usually wear pants!! What is going on? You can only imagine: my mind is racing. What did I say? Does he not like black? Reminds him of the funeral last week? Hot pink isn’t his favorite color? Holy crap Bat man! I’ve just been ditched on the first date and I barely even had a chance to say hello!
For real…this was my first experience after nearly 20 years of dating! I paid almost $2000 for this dating service and my first date was an absolute walk out! Never saw the guy again! He went to wash his hands and washed his hands of me! We never even got down and dirty in any way, shape or form! So not what I thought!! It lasted all of maybe ten minutes and I think I said maybe ten words- “Hi, my name is…” etc.! I sat there eating my salad and thinking, “surely this is not happening”…but it was and did! But, the salad was good: feta over mixed greens and not too much with the most delicious summer, ripe tomatoes. And, reasonably priced-a bonus!
Talk about trying to regroup after that one! When I got back to the office, everyone was dying to know how it went. I laughed it off, said he got an important phone call and had to leave. Sure…he had to be rescued! Why? I cannot answer that. Talk about sending a girl into a tail spin, readdressing all kinds of things. First date an absolute flop; beyond words of flop-still trying to find the words to fit that one and it’s been well over a year and many other dates since! Hence, the book!
So, let’s try to figure out date one: Maybe, just maybe, it was written all over my face the expectation of prince charming waltzing into my life on that Wednesday. Maybe, just maybe, I was too stunning for lunch! (See that high sense of humor and silver lining thing!) Or, could it be that while in the bathroom he received an emergency text message or phone call that had to be taken care of right away, without even a “good-bye, thanks for the appointment, but gotta’ go!” I will never know. But, I go back to those words of encouragement my parents always shared: when something bizarre happens with another person, it’s usually something in them, not you! Thanks, mom and dad! Whatever the case may be, I left that date in my sharp, black, compact cotton suit with those sexy shoes on determined to get out there and do it again! For better or worse experiences in dating, if I were to experience anything, I would have to pick myself up and try, try again! Here come those parental words of encouragement, just like mom calling when I was training for my first marathon (with a crazy southern accent): “You can do it!!”
Wow-it seems so long ago! The blog sure has been a healing tool and I couldn't have laughed more in the process!! Thanks to all who continue to plug in, laugh with me, and even share your own stories of dates! Final chapters sent off and looking for the "rough draft" from publisher soon....:-)
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Mr. Rules and Regulations
Trying my last ditch effort of the friendly dating service before my membership expired, I decided to take this final plunge and offer to meet a financier on a Friday night at a swanky beach restaurant. The girls assured me he was conversationally adept, divorced, educated, quite handsome and enjoyed many of the same things I did. He was successful, and was looking to share some time with someone who wouldn’t complicate his life, but compliment it. Were those his words, theirs or taken from me? Either way, I was interested to hear a little more and meet this William guy.
William, met me at the entrance of the restaurant. He was a bit more handsome than what the girls said, or maybe it was just me attracted to him right off the bat! Whatever the case, he had a GREAT boyish grin and smiled quite a bit when he spoke, looking directly in my eyes. Oh, that is a rarity with most! He’s scoring brownie points already! We decided to grab a table towards the back as to have a little more of an intimate setting, but not too far from others enjoying the winter night out. William began the small talk of hobbies and questions about what I liked to do in my spare time. He shared he has a pretty tight schedule with meetings on certain days at set times, but enjoys working out at the gym in the mornings before work three days a week, has his children two nights a week, every other weekend and goes to the movies every other Saturday with friends Trish and Phil.
Having a schedule, life and plans are good, I was thinking, but is there some flex time in there? How am I going to fit it in? Well, William began asking what time my day starts and what I do after work. Because I have my children and am somewhat slave to their schedules, my days vary. This seemed to perplex William, since most of his days are running on a tight schedule, with nearly every minute accounted for. If this would be remotely possible, according to William, would I be available to meet say Tuesday or Friday mornings for breakfast? “WHAT? Wow!” I just met you and I am not even sure of my schedule tomorrow let alone blocking out my Tuesday and/ or Friday mornings to meet your for breakfast! Plus, you may not even like my “cheesy girl sandwich”- which consists of a multi-grain bagel, fried egg and a slice of Kraft American cheese! (Yeah, I’m thinking it’s somewhat healthy due to the multi-grain bagel…HA!!) Some mornings, I don't even do the breakfast thing until I reach the office...low-sugar oatmeal. And, my coffee could stand up on it’s own, it’s that strong-you may not like it and by the time I roll out the door for the office, I have already had my two cups! Oh, let’s not forget that we just met and I haven’t even made it past the first date! Or, maybe just maybe, “breakfast” was code for a little “extra curricular” aka: boom-chica-boom-boom! activity to be scheduled in…ewwwhhh! We just met and although I’m attracted to your boyish grin, I’m growing less and less attracted to you the more you talk about your busy schedule and commitments!
Plus, I wanted to ask my own question: Do you go by William, your given name, or do you shorten it to Bill, Buddy, Mack, Will or something else? Perplexity set in momentarily as William said…”no, it’s just William.” Hmmm…that seems a bit formal. In the heat of passion, can I really get that all out in one breath? “Ohhhh Will….iam…” that’s more than what this asthmatic might be able to handle! And, William is awfully formal! Can you loosen your tie, unbutton your shirt and relax a little? I'm not suggesting let it all hang out on the first date, but something seems a bit off here.
As the waitress came over I tried to bury my head into the menu, a little embarrassed at my own thoughts diverting to a baited fishing line tossed into my lake to see if I would bite or pass. Another Friday night with a freak and I have just under an hour to go! Looks are totally not everything and although he has the most adorable smile with perfectly straight and not too white of teeth, it’s beginning to become obvious that he has some issues. The waitress was young and sweet, a real cutie trying to make a buck or two during the winter while her husband was off protecting our community as a police officer. She asked if this was a special night out and in my head I was thinking: “Yep! Real special!!” As she began probing or just simply trying to care for her table guests, I simply added we were out for our first date. William looked a bit embarrassed that I had just announced it was our first date to Suzy waitress. She proceeded to exclaim the “Oh my God’s…you look great together! What a cute couple!!” Maybe she was looking for the big tip of the night, no, not the “don’t run with scissors tip” either! Whatever the case, William was pouring through the menu only to finally ask if he could talk to the chef for a moment. A bit bewildered, Suzy waitress said sure and meandered her way towards the kitchen.
As the chef arrived at our table, William shared his specific desires for the evening entre, even going into detail of just how much salt, olive oil in the pan, a touch of soy on the pan seared fish, etc. I kid you not…I couldn’t make this up!! The chef was accommodating and Suzy just looked at me. I had no clue! After all, I had just met William and the girls from the service didn’t share any of this neurosis with me. William ordered green beans as a side dish and calmly explained aloud to both Suzy and I that he would be eating these with his fingers. WTF-not where’s the fire in this case! I decided to quickly place my favorite appetizer order for my meal and zip off to the ladies room for a breath of fresh air!
When I came out of the private bathroom stall, little Suzy was in the main area primping and fixing her skirt. With a big smile and a hopeful grin she shared her thoughts that William and I seemed to be really hitting it off! Are you joking me? I think this guy has so many rules and regulations he could put the finance commission back together and maybe even come up with a plan to bail our sinking economy out of recession! I assured Suzie that I wasn’t sure there would be much more than a first date if things didn’t turn around.
Ever heard the “Help a sister out!!” phrase? Maybe Suzie was trying to really score the tip of the night, or maybe she saw something I didn’t in William’s eyes and smile. Or maybe, just maybe, she is a hopeless romantic and was doing some wishful thinking that William and I would ride off into the sunset, live happily ever after and it all started right here: with her waiting on us that special first date. The likelihood of that happening is slim to none, but let’s just keep on keepin’ on with the date. Little Suzie tried to encourage sharing by asking a few questions when she returned to our table about how we met and came to be on our first date, where we were from, etc. Out of nowhere, but somewhere in her cute blonde head and puckered up pink shimmery lips came the question: “what are your rules of what to do and what not to do of a potential mate?” What? Are you serious? I need to answer that, right here, right now. I’m not sure I am prepared for that one. I had no need to worry…William chimed in first!
William decided the sharing of rules and regulations were just the topic he would like to discuss and no better time than the present to get it all out in the open. He branched out into the laundry list of: first, sleeping on a certain side of the bed. There will be no pretzel like spooning, you stay on your side, I will stay on mine and we will even have the remote control on the headboard to have that invisible line in the sheets. And, boy oh boy did he ever proceed to share! As if the bed thing rules weren't enough!! He has his own routine before bed: check the lights, 1, 2, 3; check the stocks, 1, 2, 3; check the phone for any missed messages, emails, or texts, 1, 2, 3; wash his face, 1, 2, 3; anti aging cream, 1, 2, 3; brush teeth, 1, 2, 3; floss, 1, 2, 3….it kept going on!! I finally exclaimed, not sure when he would end his laundry list of bedtime routine: "Look, I’m pretty simple. I don’t care whether the toilet paper goes over or under on the roll. Heck, I don’t even care if it’s on the back of the toilet. As long as there’s toilet paper in the bathroom, I am good to go!!" Seriously this guy has some issues and I’m pretzel- like flexible for most of life!
I’m not even sure at this point if they make a pill anymore for what he has or if it even has a name!! He may be one of a kind- a real short bus special friend!! And, no, you can’t borrow my bib or my helmet…that’s reserved!
By now I was wondering if the girls at the dating service knew any of this or if maybe the previous dates never got to know this much and didn’t share. Maybe no one thought this was a little over the top. Whatever the case, there’s no amount of glue that can fix this broken bowl of a soup sandwich! I knew right then and there that this date was done.
At least Mr. Rules and Regulations knew the part of a gentleman: paying the bill. As he walked me to my car, polite thank you’s were granted on both sides. My final date with the dating service would be a last laugh for sure! The baby deer in the dating world was ready to venture into the forest without assistance. Thanks girls!!
William, met me at the entrance of the restaurant. He was a bit more handsome than what the girls said, or maybe it was just me attracted to him right off the bat! Whatever the case, he had a GREAT boyish grin and smiled quite a bit when he spoke, looking directly in my eyes. Oh, that is a rarity with most! He’s scoring brownie points already! We decided to grab a table towards the back as to have a little more of an intimate setting, but not too far from others enjoying the winter night out. William began the small talk of hobbies and questions about what I liked to do in my spare time. He shared he has a pretty tight schedule with meetings on certain days at set times, but enjoys working out at the gym in the mornings before work three days a week, has his children two nights a week, every other weekend and goes to the movies every other Saturday with friends Trish and Phil.
Having a schedule, life and plans are good, I was thinking, but is there some flex time in there? How am I going to fit it in? Well, William began asking what time my day starts and what I do after work. Because I have my children and am somewhat slave to their schedules, my days vary. This seemed to perplex William, since most of his days are running on a tight schedule, with nearly every minute accounted for. If this would be remotely possible, according to William, would I be available to meet say Tuesday or Friday mornings for breakfast? “WHAT? Wow!” I just met you and I am not even sure of my schedule tomorrow let alone blocking out my Tuesday and/ or Friday mornings to meet your for breakfast! Plus, you may not even like my “cheesy girl sandwich”- which consists of a multi-grain bagel, fried egg and a slice of Kraft American cheese! (Yeah, I’m thinking it’s somewhat healthy due to the multi-grain bagel…HA!!) Some mornings, I don't even do the breakfast thing until I reach the office...low-sugar oatmeal. And, my coffee could stand up on it’s own, it’s that strong-you may not like it and by the time I roll out the door for the office, I have already had my two cups! Oh, let’s not forget that we just met and I haven’t even made it past the first date! Or, maybe just maybe, “breakfast” was code for a little “extra curricular” aka: boom-chica-boom-boom! activity to be scheduled in…ewwwhhh! We just met and although I’m attracted to your boyish grin, I’m growing less and less attracted to you the more you talk about your busy schedule and commitments!
Plus, I wanted to ask my own question: Do you go by William, your given name, or do you shorten it to Bill, Buddy, Mack, Will or something else? Perplexity set in momentarily as William said…”no, it’s just William.” Hmmm…that seems a bit formal. In the heat of passion, can I really get that all out in one breath? “Ohhhh Will….iam…” that’s more than what this asthmatic might be able to handle! And, William is awfully formal! Can you loosen your tie, unbutton your shirt and relax a little? I'm not suggesting let it all hang out on the first date, but something seems a bit off here.
As the waitress came over I tried to bury my head into the menu, a little embarrassed at my own thoughts diverting to a baited fishing line tossed into my lake to see if I would bite or pass. Another Friday night with a freak and I have just under an hour to go! Looks are totally not everything and although he has the most adorable smile with perfectly straight and not too white of teeth, it’s beginning to become obvious that he has some issues. The waitress was young and sweet, a real cutie trying to make a buck or two during the winter while her husband was off protecting our community as a police officer. She asked if this was a special night out and in my head I was thinking: “Yep! Real special!!” As she began probing or just simply trying to care for her table guests, I simply added we were out for our first date. William looked a bit embarrassed that I had just announced it was our first date to Suzy waitress. She proceeded to exclaim the “Oh my God’s…you look great together! What a cute couple!!” Maybe she was looking for the big tip of the night, no, not the “don’t run with scissors tip” either! Whatever the case, William was pouring through the menu only to finally ask if he could talk to the chef for a moment. A bit bewildered, Suzy waitress said sure and meandered her way towards the kitchen.
As the chef arrived at our table, William shared his specific desires for the evening entre, even going into detail of just how much salt, olive oil in the pan, a touch of soy on the pan seared fish, etc. I kid you not…I couldn’t make this up!! The chef was accommodating and Suzy just looked at me. I had no clue! After all, I had just met William and the girls from the service didn’t share any of this neurosis with me. William ordered green beans as a side dish and calmly explained aloud to both Suzy and I that he would be eating these with his fingers. WTF-not where’s the fire in this case! I decided to quickly place my favorite appetizer order for my meal and zip off to the ladies room for a breath of fresh air!
When I came out of the private bathroom stall, little Suzy was in the main area primping and fixing her skirt. With a big smile and a hopeful grin she shared her thoughts that William and I seemed to be really hitting it off! Are you joking me? I think this guy has so many rules and regulations he could put the finance commission back together and maybe even come up with a plan to bail our sinking economy out of recession! I assured Suzie that I wasn’t sure there would be much more than a first date if things didn’t turn around.
Ever heard the “Help a sister out!!” phrase? Maybe Suzie was trying to really score the tip of the night, or maybe she saw something I didn’t in William’s eyes and smile. Or maybe, just maybe, she is a hopeless romantic and was doing some wishful thinking that William and I would ride off into the sunset, live happily ever after and it all started right here: with her waiting on us that special first date. The likelihood of that happening is slim to none, but let’s just keep on keepin’ on with the date. Little Suzie tried to encourage sharing by asking a few questions when she returned to our table about how we met and came to be on our first date, where we were from, etc. Out of nowhere, but somewhere in her cute blonde head and puckered up pink shimmery lips came the question: “what are your rules of what to do and what not to do of a potential mate?” What? Are you serious? I need to answer that, right here, right now. I’m not sure I am prepared for that one. I had no need to worry…William chimed in first!
William decided the sharing of rules and regulations were just the topic he would like to discuss and no better time than the present to get it all out in the open. He branched out into the laundry list of: first, sleeping on a certain side of the bed. There will be no pretzel like spooning, you stay on your side, I will stay on mine and we will even have the remote control on the headboard to have that invisible line in the sheets. And, boy oh boy did he ever proceed to share! As if the bed thing rules weren't enough!! He has his own routine before bed: check the lights, 1, 2, 3; check the stocks, 1, 2, 3; check the phone for any missed messages, emails, or texts, 1, 2, 3; wash his face, 1, 2, 3; anti aging cream, 1, 2, 3; brush teeth, 1, 2, 3; floss, 1, 2, 3….it kept going on!! I finally exclaimed, not sure when he would end his laundry list of bedtime routine: "Look, I’m pretty simple. I don’t care whether the toilet paper goes over or under on the roll. Heck, I don’t even care if it’s on the back of the toilet. As long as there’s toilet paper in the bathroom, I am good to go!!" Seriously this guy has some issues and I’m pretzel- like flexible for most of life!
I’m not even sure at this point if they make a pill anymore for what he has or if it even has a name!! He may be one of a kind- a real short bus special friend!! And, no, you can’t borrow my bib or my helmet…that’s reserved!
By now I was wondering if the girls at the dating service knew any of this or if maybe the previous dates never got to know this much and didn’t share. Maybe no one thought this was a little over the top. Whatever the case, there’s no amount of glue that can fix this broken bowl of a soup sandwich! I knew right then and there that this date was done.
At least Mr. Rules and Regulations knew the part of a gentleman: paying the bill. As he walked me to my car, polite thank you’s were granted on both sides. My final date with the dating service would be a last laugh for sure! The baby deer in the dating world was ready to venture into the forest without assistance. Thanks girls!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Focus....please
On line dating is a whole new world and experience I never thought I would be into let alone even try. Having mentioned in a previous posting I had put my profile out there in cyberspace and was like fresh meat hanging in the market, gaining a second job without pay. I had filtered through my share of interested parties over the trial period with no success...unlike a few of my friends. One guy and I exchanged numbers after a few back and forth online notes. Finally we agreed to meet at a coffee shop not too far from my office. I was looking forward to meeting him face to face and seeing if there was any sort of chemistry.
Rob said he would be wearing jeans and a white shirt so I would know who he was. Coming from work mid afternoon, I would be in a suit. As I headed into the bookstore/ coffee shop I saw this guy standing on the outside with a white shirt and jeans smoking. Oh, please do not let that be him! I’m not at all interested in getting to know someone who has a habit like that because I have no desire to kiss an ashtray today or tomorrow! Should I turn around and go back to my car? No. I said would be here and I am, so just go in. I walked around the shop looking for an exit route just in case I needed to draft a quick plan B and exit route, then headed to the coffee area.
As I looked around I saw another guy resembling the on line photo of Rob somewhat. Yes, white shirt and jeans on…that must be him. He stood up and introduced himself as I ordered my coffee. Thank goodness it’s not the smoking guy! But, there’s something different about him. We started to talk and I asked about the photos posted, remarking that he seems is a bit older and thinner than what those photos showed. Oh, yeah…the one with the boy at the beach was taken a few years back. Not the eight year old anymore, the kid is in college! What? You must be joking! You posted a ten year old photo thinking you still look the same? My photos are from the last two years and I don’t look that different. I haven’t taken to bon-bons and twinkies! You, Rob, however look not only older but much thinner!
And, what’s with your lack of eye contact? Can’t you look at me? Your eyes are wandering uncontrollably. Focus, please. Look me in the eyes when you are talking to me! What's dishonest here? For the record, it wasn’t the normal eye wandering while checking out the scenery, but an unnatural blinking and focusing disorder. This is weird! I am trying to have a conversation with you, but it appears as if you are out somewhere in left field and unable to look me in the eyes while talking. Is it nerves or is it something else? Whatever the case is, focus…you on me, me on you. Nope, not happening!
Okay, try to move beyond that one missy and get to know him. No chemistry feelings here but maybe those intriguing chats on line meant something and it was perhaps an opportunity for a new friend. Not sure. Rob began to explain that he had been on several dates and hadn’t really met anyone who was what they appeared to be from their posted profile. Really? And, you think you do? I don’t think so. So far you have represented yourself to be ten years younger than reality by photos. What else is inaccurate? As I was trying to think about this one, Rob said he needed to use the restroom and would be back in a few. No problem, I’ll just have my coffee and wait. No big deal, nature calls us all.
Rob got up and ran off to the restroom, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. I sat enjoying my coffee as the minutes passed contemplating the date. Well, five minutes turned into twenty! No, not kidding nor exaggerating! I knew he was coming back at some point because he left his jacket. I sat waiting patiently, but realized I probably should have made it easier on him and just walked out. I was obviously not what he was looking for and should have saved him the embarassment or confrontation and just left. Better yet, save yourself!! But, I didn’t…I waited for the humiliation and blow face to face. When he finally returned, he was whiter than a ghost and tried to explain he had some stomach issues and didn’t feel well. Oh, gross! I shook his hand and now I probably have cooties! Too late for "circle-circle-dot-dot!" Not only was he not what he appeared to be or represented himself to be, he was sick!
Rob began to explain he had been diagnosed with a serious health condition and now finds himself without a wife, kids gone off to college and alone. Apparently she left him when he got sick. (There’s a special place for people like her, but I won’t go there!) He began to explain some of the side effects of his treatment being both the eye and stomach condition and more. Now I was feeling bad for judging previously and selfishly nit-picking on something he had no control over. My job requires me to assist in quality of life issues for those sick and here I have met someone for a different purpose than what I thought. Going back to mom and dad sharing that sometimes we meet people to give, receive or just enjoy, but it is true we meet all for a purpose. Thanks mom and dad! (Oh, here's the silver lining thing or maybe making lemonade from lemons again!)
Shifting gears now to work mode, I began listening with a different reason. My attention went from my own desires to have him focus on me, but now I needed to focus on him for real. So the next thirty minutes or so of the date turned into work and that was it. Not too exciting on the personal front, but there for a greater sharing. I don’t believe in coincidences, the fickle finger of fate but do believe in the hand of God. Never saw him after that coffee date nor heard another word from him. I’m sure he was embarrassed somewhat, but although trying to live a normal life after diagnosis of a serious health issue, I was a little too close to it all and not dating material. He wasn’t a fit for me either, as I am a caretaker and giver to two children and certainly not willing at this point to take on a serious condition of someone I just met and have no real chemistry with. I guess there’s something to be said for the old pheromone phenomenon: it’s either there or it’s not. In this case, it was not there, but not a total loss. Perhaps the sharing was for a greater purpose.
Rob said he would be wearing jeans and a white shirt so I would know who he was. Coming from work mid afternoon, I would be in a suit. As I headed into the bookstore/ coffee shop I saw this guy standing on the outside with a white shirt and jeans smoking. Oh, please do not let that be him! I’m not at all interested in getting to know someone who has a habit like that because I have no desire to kiss an ashtray today or tomorrow! Should I turn around and go back to my car? No. I said would be here and I am, so just go in. I walked around the shop looking for an exit route just in case I needed to draft a quick plan B and exit route, then headed to the coffee area.
As I looked around I saw another guy resembling the on line photo of Rob somewhat. Yes, white shirt and jeans on…that must be him. He stood up and introduced himself as I ordered my coffee. Thank goodness it’s not the smoking guy! But, there’s something different about him. We started to talk and I asked about the photos posted, remarking that he seems is a bit older and thinner than what those photos showed. Oh, yeah…the one with the boy at the beach was taken a few years back. Not the eight year old anymore, the kid is in college! What? You must be joking! You posted a ten year old photo thinking you still look the same? My photos are from the last two years and I don’t look that different. I haven’t taken to bon-bons and twinkies! You, Rob, however look not only older but much thinner!
And, what’s with your lack of eye contact? Can’t you look at me? Your eyes are wandering uncontrollably. Focus, please. Look me in the eyes when you are talking to me! What's dishonest here? For the record, it wasn’t the normal eye wandering while checking out the scenery, but an unnatural blinking and focusing disorder. This is weird! I am trying to have a conversation with you, but it appears as if you are out somewhere in left field and unable to look me in the eyes while talking. Is it nerves or is it something else? Whatever the case is, focus…you on me, me on you. Nope, not happening!
Okay, try to move beyond that one missy and get to know him. No chemistry feelings here but maybe those intriguing chats on line meant something and it was perhaps an opportunity for a new friend. Not sure. Rob began to explain that he had been on several dates and hadn’t really met anyone who was what they appeared to be from their posted profile. Really? And, you think you do? I don’t think so. So far you have represented yourself to be ten years younger than reality by photos. What else is inaccurate? As I was trying to think about this one, Rob said he needed to use the restroom and would be back in a few. No problem, I’ll just have my coffee and wait. No big deal, nature calls us all.
Rob got up and ran off to the restroom, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. I sat enjoying my coffee as the minutes passed contemplating the date. Well, five minutes turned into twenty! No, not kidding nor exaggerating! I knew he was coming back at some point because he left his jacket. I sat waiting patiently, but realized I probably should have made it easier on him and just walked out. I was obviously not what he was looking for and should have saved him the embarassment or confrontation and just left. Better yet, save yourself!! But, I didn’t…I waited for the humiliation and blow face to face. When he finally returned, he was whiter than a ghost and tried to explain he had some stomach issues and didn’t feel well. Oh, gross! I shook his hand and now I probably have cooties! Too late for "circle-circle-dot-dot!" Not only was he not what he appeared to be or represented himself to be, he was sick!
Rob began to explain he had been diagnosed with a serious health condition and now finds himself without a wife, kids gone off to college and alone. Apparently she left him when he got sick. (There’s a special place for people like her, but I won’t go there!) He began to explain some of the side effects of his treatment being both the eye and stomach condition and more. Now I was feeling bad for judging previously and selfishly nit-picking on something he had no control over. My job requires me to assist in quality of life issues for those sick and here I have met someone for a different purpose than what I thought. Going back to mom and dad sharing that sometimes we meet people to give, receive or just enjoy, but it is true we meet all for a purpose. Thanks mom and dad! (Oh, here's the silver lining thing or maybe making lemonade from lemons again!)
Shifting gears now to work mode, I began listening with a different reason. My attention went from my own desires to have him focus on me, but now I needed to focus on him for real. So the next thirty minutes or so of the date turned into work and that was it. Not too exciting on the personal front, but there for a greater sharing. I don’t believe in coincidences, the fickle finger of fate but do believe in the hand of God. Never saw him after that coffee date nor heard another word from him. I’m sure he was embarrassed somewhat, but although trying to live a normal life after diagnosis of a serious health issue, I was a little too close to it all and not dating material. He wasn’t a fit for me either, as I am a caretaker and giver to two children and certainly not willing at this point to take on a serious condition of someone I just met and have no real chemistry with. I guess there’s something to be said for the old pheromone phenomenon: it’s either there or it’s not. In this case, it was not there, but not a total loss. Perhaps the sharing was for a greater purpose.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The Race is On...
The Race is On…
So, pulling my beautiful lace big girl panties up and moving on, I turned to friends for a date excursion and introduction. I trusted that they have known me for years and would know what I liked, didn’t like and would surely find me a guy.
One afternoon, my friend Julie called to say she knew this banker guy, Bill, that was single and a super guy; a little older than I, but he liked golf and boating too. Had two kids in college, and would probably be a lot of fun to hang out with. I said sure, I would like to meet him and go from there. Julie arranged a quick meet together over a lunch shared with a group of people. He was handsome, but definitely a little older than what I would ideally choose, but hey, I am up for meeting new people. He had a good sense of humor and indeed when we started talking about golf, I really became interested. Plus, he threw in a little banking knowledge and I was in-like Flynn! He asked for my number and I gave it-easy as that.
Over the next few weeks we talked on the phone quite a bit. He called in the mornings while I was making my way to the office just to see what my big plans for the day consisted of. How nice! He shared his multiple meeting schedules and how busy the banking business was. I was interested. After all, I was in charge of my finances now and getting the “inside” scoop was really cool! One day when he asked if I would like to get together over the weekend, I said sure, why not. When he told me maybe Sunday after church he could pick me up and make me dinner, I was completely in awe! WOW!! This guy is going to make me dinner! How cool is that? “Plus,” he said, “the race is on.”
Well, over the next few days, I thought about that last sentence: the race is on. What race? The Preakness is on Saturday’s. Triple Crown isn’t even close to happening. What in the world code is that he is speaking? The race is on…perplexing. Just running with it, yes, the race is on…whatever that means.
Sunday service was great! I was half listening to the pastor preach, but rejoicing in the good ol’ gospel music and singing praises of “I have a date” after this. After service, I drove to the parking lot of our rendezvous point to meet Bill. He picked me up in his Jeep and we headed off to his house on the water for the race. He was wildly excited and talking about his home made chicken salad he would be making and it was his grandmother’s recipe. How sweet; he’s showing a sensitive side and even sharing grandma’s recipe with me. There’s some potential here. We drove for what seemed like an hour, way back through winding roads, swamp land…Where the hell is this guy taking me? Finally, we turned off the highway onto a small, two lane paved road skirting the waterway lined with old colonial style homes and beautiful landscaped lawns. He turned left into the driveway of a quaint, colonial cottage. How cute! There were pretty flowers in the bed and roses in full bloom: a girl could really like this garden!
As we entered the cottage through the side door, he politely showed me the restroom through the kitchen and then did something so man-cave-like: sat comfortably in the big chair and turned on the television, exclaiming “the race is on!” Without certainty of what he was talking about, I asked “What race?” THE RACE”, he explained. Clueless, I asked what race again. Well, the answer was right there in front of me: on full 52 inches of high definition, complete with surround sound- Nascar. A bunch of cars lined up getting ready to go. Are you kidding me? I know nothing of Nascar and auto racing! Being a gentleman, he tried to explain. For probably forty minutes I watched these cars go round and round, bumping into each other, spinning, stopping, re-starting and all the while he is trying to explain the who’s who of auto-racing, positioning, why they are jockeying for position, the pay out at the end, etc. It was totally reminding me of Larry the Cable Guy’s short skit on auto-racing and the maxi sliding into position! That is truly the extent of my knowledge on Nascar. What is going on? Despite Bill’s attempts to share his obvious passion of auto-racing, I wasn’t buying it. And, I was stuck-in a house across from the water and inside on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching colorful hamsters…aka cars…go round and round on some track. It was loud and obnoxious and completely out of my realm of knowledge, much less my interest.
So, I did what any good girl would do: excused myself to go for a walk and check out the waterfront neighborhood filled with mosquitoes and pray to be carried away on this glorious, God given Sunday! As I walked the great outdoors, I thought of Rule #2: Never get stranded without a way out! I probably walked outside for an hour, returning to find him in the exact same spot he was in when I left: that big, chair in front of the boob-tube watching cars go round and round! What to do? In jest, I was thinking that John Lennon song: I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the wheels go round and round…I really love to watch them roll.” Oh wait, that might have been a different trip! I grabbed a couple of plastic grocery bags and headed out to the garden to pull weeds. Yep, you are reading correctly. I did bag some five bags of yard debris and weeds in Bill’s yard for the next hour or so while the race was on! He was lucky…a cute, yard girl for free! A little different than a pool boy, but a yard girl just the same! All he really needed me to say was, “honey, can I get you a cold one?” and it was a dream come true! What a joke! By this time, I was wondering: where’s grandma’s chicken salad?
To my surprise, he came out side and announced the final thirty laps, which means the race would soon be over. It was the most exciting time of the race, according to Bill. In my brunette head I was thinking: “my dream has come true-the nightmare is ending!” My stomach is eating my backbone and there’s no sign of any chicken doing anything, much less cookin’!” He couldn’t believe I had been out pulling weeds, but thanked me none the less and invited me in to share the last moments of the race. He continued to explain the minor bumps and crashes, who pushed who out of what lead and it would all be over in maybe thirty minutes. Thank God! As one crash led to another; finally that damn checkered flag was waved. Then, without a beat another crash-it was all over! The winner of the race was the one in the lead at the time of the crash. What? You are kidding, right? They can’t even finish, like the horses and cross the finish line? Nope! The race was over.
What a ridiculous day! And the day wasn’t even done. I still had to wait for chicken salad and take that hour long ride through the winding trails of North Carolina and drive back to Virginia. The chicken couldn’t cook fast enough and I couldn’t eat any faster than my kids trying to scarf down a once-in-a-blue moon McDonald’s happy meal! By the drive back, I was spent. My patience meter was pegged and I was working that last bit, digging deep. Poor Bill was still going on and on about the race while I was looking out the Jeep window counting trees as they passed by. Arriving at the my car, I bid a cordial good-bye to Bill and thanked my lucky stars this day was done-stick a fork in that one!
So, pulling my beautiful lace big girl panties up and moving on, I turned to friends for a date excursion and introduction. I trusted that they have known me for years and would know what I liked, didn’t like and would surely find me a guy.
One afternoon, my friend Julie called to say she knew this banker guy, Bill, that was single and a super guy; a little older than I, but he liked golf and boating too. Had two kids in college, and would probably be a lot of fun to hang out with. I said sure, I would like to meet him and go from there. Julie arranged a quick meet together over a lunch shared with a group of people. He was handsome, but definitely a little older than what I would ideally choose, but hey, I am up for meeting new people. He had a good sense of humor and indeed when we started talking about golf, I really became interested. Plus, he threw in a little banking knowledge and I was in-like Flynn! He asked for my number and I gave it-easy as that.
Over the next few weeks we talked on the phone quite a bit. He called in the mornings while I was making my way to the office just to see what my big plans for the day consisted of. How nice! He shared his multiple meeting schedules and how busy the banking business was. I was interested. After all, I was in charge of my finances now and getting the “inside” scoop was really cool! One day when he asked if I would like to get together over the weekend, I said sure, why not. When he told me maybe Sunday after church he could pick me up and make me dinner, I was completely in awe! WOW!! This guy is going to make me dinner! How cool is that? “Plus,” he said, “the race is on.”
Well, over the next few days, I thought about that last sentence: the race is on. What race? The Preakness is on Saturday’s. Triple Crown isn’t even close to happening. What in the world code is that he is speaking? The race is on…perplexing. Just running with it, yes, the race is on…whatever that means.
Sunday service was great! I was half listening to the pastor preach, but rejoicing in the good ol’ gospel music and singing praises of “I have a date” after this. After service, I drove to the parking lot of our rendezvous point to meet Bill. He picked me up in his Jeep and we headed off to his house on the water for the race. He was wildly excited and talking about his home made chicken salad he would be making and it was his grandmother’s recipe. How sweet; he’s showing a sensitive side and even sharing grandma’s recipe with me. There’s some potential here. We drove for what seemed like an hour, way back through winding roads, swamp land…Where the hell is this guy taking me? Finally, we turned off the highway onto a small, two lane paved road skirting the waterway lined with old colonial style homes and beautiful landscaped lawns. He turned left into the driveway of a quaint, colonial cottage. How cute! There were pretty flowers in the bed and roses in full bloom: a girl could really like this garden!
As we entered the cottage through the side door, he politely showed me the restroom through the kitchen and then did something so man-cave-like: sat comfortably in the big chair and turned on the television, exclaiming “the race is on!” Without certainty of what he was talking about, I asked “What race?” THE RACE”, he explained. Clueless, I asked what race again. Well, the answer was right there in front of me: on full 52 inches of high definition, complete with surround sound- Nascar. A bunch of cars lined up getting ready to go. Are you kidding me? I know nothing of Nascar and auto racing! Being a gentleman, he tried to explain. For probably forty minutes I watched these cars go round and round, bumping into each other, spinning, stopping, re-starting and all the while he is trying to explain the who’s who of auto-racing, positioning, why they are jockeying for position, the pay out at the end, etc. It was totally reminding me of Larry the Cable Guy’s short skit on auto-racing and the maxi sliding into position! That is truly the extent of my knowledge on Nascar. What is going on? Despite Bill’s attempts to share his obvious passion of auto-racing, I wasn’t buying it. And, I was stuck-in a house across from the water and inside on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching colorful hamsters…aka cars…go round and round on some track. It was loud and obnoxious and completely out of my realm of knowledge, much less my interest.
So, I did what any good girl would do: excused myself to go for a walk and check out the waterfront neighborhood filled with mosquitoes and pray to be carried away on this glorious, God given Sunday! As I walked the great outdoors, I thought of Rule #2: Never get stranded without a way out! I probably walked outside for an hour, returning to find him in the exact same spot he was in when I left: that big, chair in front of the boob-tube watching cars go round and round! What to do? In jest, I was thinking that John Lennon song: I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the wheels go round and round…I really love to watch them roll.” Oh wait, that might have been a different trip! I grabbed a couple of plastic grocery bags and headed out to the garden to pull weeds. Yep, you are reading correctly. I did bag some five bags of yard debris and weeds in Bill’s yard for the next hour or so while the race was on! He was lucky…a cute, yard girl for free! A little different than a pool boy, but a yard girl just the same! All he really needed me to say was, “honey, can I get you a cold one?” and it was a dream come true! What a joke! By this time, I was wondering: where’s grandma’s chicken salad?
To my surprise, he came out side and announced the final thirty laps, which means the race would soon be over. It was the most exciting time of the race, according to Bill. In my brunette head I was thinking: “my dream has come true-the nightmare is ending!” My stomach is eating my backbone and there’s no sign of any chicken doing anything, much less cookin’!” He couldn’t believe I had been out pulling weeds, but thanked me none the less and invited me in to share the last moments of the race. He continued to explain the minor bumps and crashes, who pushed who out of what lead and it would all be over in maybe thirty minutes. Thank God! As one crash led to another; finally that damn checkered flag was waved. Then, without a beat another crash-it was all over! The winner of the race was the one in the lead at the time of the crash. What? You are kidding, right? They can’t even finish, like the horses and cross the finish line? Nope! The race was over.
What a ridiculous day! And the day wasn’t even done. I still had to wait for chicken salad and take that hour long ride through the winding trails of North Carolina and drive back to Virginia. The chicken couldn’t cook fast enough and I couldn’t eat any faster than my kids trying to scarf down a once-in-a-blue moon McDonald’s happy meal! By the drive back, I was spent. My patience meter was pegged and I was working that last bit, digging deep. Poor Bill was still going on and on about the race while I was looking out the Jeep window counting trees as they passed by. Arriving at the my car, I bid a cordial good-bye to Bill and thanked my lucky stars this day was done-stick a fork in that one!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Older and wiser....
Back on the playing field I go. Ready or not dating world, here I come! I took a few dates here and there, none beyond the one date wonder thing and only to find more interesting stories to share.
One day a friend of a friend invited me to a political function. Knowing I had spent the last twenty years in somewhat of a political behind the scenes life being active in all areas: local, state and national politics. My interest was peaked to meet a new and up and coming local political figure, to put it mildly. The hostess was one I had known both casually as well as through work, so I was comfortable going solo to the evening gathering just as I do to most anything. It was a private, by invitation only night, so I knew the caliber of folks attending would be on at least some level the same as mine. And, I was not the least bit surprised: all attendees were conversationally adept and interested in not only bettering their local community, but learning how they could be an integral part of making the lives of others better. I met many new folks, but one in particular paid a special interest in me.
Alex was on the board of a local development group and private business owner. Being on a local board myself for community development, I was interested in his take on the current economic plans, redevelopment initiatives and just overall perspective of the community. We exchanged business cards and he promised to call. Although Alex was much older than I, probably a good twenty-five years or so, I thought to myself this could be an interesting friendship and sharing, networking and becoming yet more involved in what I thought was important. Alex called multiple times over the next few weeks and each time I was impressed with his knowledge of our local community and how our little corner of the world played a role in the greater scheme of life outside. When he invited me to attend a once a month meeting and social of a select group of movers and shakers, I agreed.
I wore the traditional black pant suit and arrived on time, maybe even a bit fashionably late. I didn’t want to interrupt any real business, but wanted to meet and greet those in the group. Alex immediately came to me as I entered the room and nestled me into a corner spot with two chairs, open to viewing all. But, without my realizing it, Alex was standing in front of me, shielding me from all the others. He ordered drinks for us and continued to guard me. One by one as others tried to enter the “safe zone” I had not accomplished anything I set out to do: meet others! Alex talked briefly of who’s who, pointing them out politely, but never introduced me to any of them, only hiding me in the corner. After nearly an hour of this, what I considered bull shit, bee shit or horse shit, I was ready to leave. Alex announced that he was ready to grab a bite to eat and a few were heading out to a different spot, could I join them? Why, yes…maybe, just maybe I could meet someone and see what might be, where their thoughts were and get possibly involved.
We entered location number two for the night: small tapas bar downtown and sat at the bar area, while two others joined us from the original spot. Finally I was actually meeting some others! He ordered a full on meal size of tapas while I said I would just pick from his, if okay. He said sure and ordered a nice wine to accompany. The two others quickly disappeared when the food arrived and it was just the two of us. Well, there were others in the bar, but not in our group of now two at the bar. As Alex devoured the tapas, he asked out of the blue: “So where do you see us?” Not sure what he was asking or if he had been drinking long before I showed up, I said, “What do you mean?” He calmly, without a beat, said…”you know, us?” By then, my radar had honed in on, “Houston, we have a problem.” And, I calmly said, “Oh, we are friends.” I had barely gotten the words off my tongue when he LOUDLY and with much elongation, exclaimed, “FRRRIEEENDDSSS!” Well, I could have crawled under the freakin’ bar at this point, because every single head in that tapas bar turned towards us! Not knowing exactly what to do to calm the situation, I tried to explain that I thought we were meeting to have him introduce me to others and get my involvement for future projects; he’s like my father’s age and that’s just not something I am into. I kept trying to explain as best I could and as calmly without trying to add fuel to the fire that he’s a nice guy, but just too old for me and what I was looking for in dating someone.
Obviously that world traveler, but not worldly side of me was blind sided! Alex was thinking otherwise! Where did that come from? No clue! But, it got worse…without a doubt! Alex proceeded to verbally share all his talents with me. No, not the kind that he plays the violin or is an acclaimed pianist and has produced several cd’s and toured Europe in his youth. The kind of talents that leave a girl thinking: why is he telling me this? Isn’t half the fun experiencing it verses telling someone? What one girl likes, the other may think is freaky or downright weird. Plus, I am a good twenty five years or so younger than him…yuck! That’s like thinking of me and my dad-sick! Not going to happen! Oh my God, I have to get out of here! But, you guessed it, he kept going on. I have no idea what was going through his big or little head; either way, I was SO not interested! Without much hesitation as he rambled on, I decided: “Check please!” And did a disappearing act even Houdini himself would be impressed by! Walked away realizing, older does not mean wiser but only more skeletons in the closet and probably more cooties than I care to deal with!
One day a friend of a friend invited me to a political function. Knowing I had spent the last twenty years in somewhat of a political behind the scenes life being active in all areas: local, state and national politics. My interest was peaked to meet a new and up and coming local political figure, to put it mildly. The hostess was one I had known both casually as well as through work, so I was comfortable going solo to the evening gathering just as I do to most anything. It was a private, by invitation only night, so I knew the caliber of folks attending would be on at least some level the same as mine. And, I was not the least bit surprised: all attendees were conversationally adept and interested in not only bettering their local community, but learning how they could be an integral part of making the lives of others better. I met many new folks, but one in particular paid a special interest in me.
Alex was on the board of a local development group and private business owner. Being on a local board myself for community development, I was interested in his take on the current economic plans, redevelopment initiatives and just overall perspective of the community. We exchanged business cards and he promised to call. Although Alex was much older than I, probably a good twenty-five years or so, I thought to myself this could be an interesting friendship and sharing, networking and becoming yet more involved in what I thought was important. Alex called multiple times over the next few weeks and each time I was impressed with his knowledge of our local community and how our little corner of the world played a role in the greater scheme of life outside. When he invited me to attend a once a month meeting and social of a select group of movers and shakers, I agreed.
I wore the traditional black pant suit and arrived on time, maybe even a bit fashionably late. I didn’t want to interrupt any real business, but wanted to meet and greet those in the group. Alex immediately came to me as I entered the room and nestled me into a corner spot with two chairs, open to viewing all. But, without my realizing it, Alex was standing in front of me, shielding me from all the others. He ordered drinks for us and continued to guard me. One by one as others tried to enter the “safe zone” I had not accomplished anything I set out to do: meet others! Alex talked briefly of who’s who, pointing them out politely, but never introduced me to any of them, only hiding me in the corner. After nearly an hour of this, what I considered bull shit, bee shit or horse shit, I was ready to leave. Alex announced that he was ready to grab a bite to eat and a few were heading out to a different spot, could I join them? Why, yes…maybe, just maybe I could meet someone and see what might be, where their thoughts were and get possibly involved.
We entered location number two for the night: small tapas bar downtown and sat at the bar area, while two others joined us from the original spot. Finally I was actually meeting some others! He ordered a full on meal size of tapas while I said I would just pick from his, if okay. He said sure and ordered a nice wine to accompany. The two others quickly disappeared when the food arrived and it was just the two of us. Well, there were others in the bar, but not in our group of now two at the bar. As Alex devoured the tapas, he asked out of the blue: “So where do you see us?” Not sure what he was asking or if he had been drinking long before I showed up, I said, “What do you mean?” He calmly, without a beat, said…”you know, us?” By then, my radar had honed in on, “Houston, we have a problem.” And, I calmly said, “Oh, we are friends.” I had barely gotten the words off my tongue when he LOUDLY and with much elongation, exclaimed, “FRRRIEEENDDSSS!” Well, I could have crawled under the freakin’ bar at this point, because every single head in that tapas bar turned towards us! Not knowing exactly what to do to calm the situation, I tried to explain that I thought we were meeting to have him introduce me to others and get my involvement for future projects; he’s like my father’s age and that’s just not something I am into. I kept trying to explain as best I could and as calmly without trying to add fuel to the fire that he’s a nice guy, but just too old for me and what I was looking for in dating someone.
Obviously that world traveler, but not worldly side of me was blind sided! Alex was thinking otherwise! Where did that come from? No clue! But, it got worse…without a doubt! Alex proceeded to verbally share all his talents with me. No, not the kind that he plays the violin or is an acclaimed pianist and has produced several cd’s and toured Europe in his youth. The kind of talents that leave a girl thinking: why is he telling me this? Isn’t half the fun experiencing it verses telling someone? What one girl likes, the other may think is freaky or downright weird. Plus, I am a good twenty five years or so younger than him…yuck! That’s like thinking of me and my dad-sick! Not going to happen! Oh my God, I have to get out of here! But, you guessed it, he kept going on. I have no idea what was going through his big or little head; either way, I was SO not interested! Without much hesitation as he rambled on, I decided: “Check please!” And did a disappearing act even Houdini himself would be impressed by! Walked away realizing, older does not mean wiser but only more skeletons in the closet and probably more cooties than I care to deal with!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Roger that...
One night while the children were away with their dad, I decided to make my way towards the ocean front and try my hand at pool. Hadn’t played in a long time, but understood the game somewhat and just like with golf, execution of actually getting the ball to go where you want it to and doing it requires some skill. Plus, I admit I was a little bummed with nothing planned and no real plans for the weekend. Off to the beach I go! I checked in at the bar of a local pool hall and karaoke bar combination. Before long I had “picked up” a pool partner. A few tables into it, the guy introduced himself as Roger and we started to share a few laughs at my inept skills at a game I somewhat understood, but obviously had little to no skills at. Nearing midnight we exchanged numbers and thought to return another night, driving our separate ways.
A few phone calls and at least a week or so later, in fact I think it was even three weeks later, I met Roger out at a cute little beach restaurant and bar area close to the beach but equal driving distance for the two of us. Everything was going pretty good until another girl approached and started bubbling over with “OMG…Roger, I haven’t seen you in nearly six years! Great to see you again; it’s been too long! You look so good! Who’s your girlfriend; she’s so cute!” Issues already arising in my little head: one, she’s getting on my nerves with being too charismatic and two, I am not his girlfriend. I’m just the date for the night. Roger began an introduction saying with assertion: “Rachel, this is Kelly. Kelly, this is Rachel.” We exchanged “nice to meet you’s” and she continued to bubble over with questions for me about how many kids do you have? Do you live locally? What do you do? and more absolute digging deeper than my comfort of questioning for a true stranger. After about ten minutes of questions and I’m sure sensing that I was not on trial here, she excused herself and said “nice to meet you, Kelly.” I said
‘same to you” and walked away. When she was completely out of ear shot range, I turned to Roger and announced rather smoothly, “Oh, by the way, my name is not Kelly. Kelly is my sister and one of my closest friends, but you wouldn’t know that because we really only started talking a few weeks ago” Of course, by this he was a bit embarrassed and asked if he really called me Kelly. I answered a short and simple: “yes!” Maybe Kelly was an old girlfriend or someone I reminded him of. Either way, I basically turned around and started walking towards the door thinking to myself while laying a $10 bill on the bar for the one drink I had: “Roger that, over and out!” A phrase heard before, but never really used myself…until now!
It was truly probably one of the quickest one date wonders out there in my few, but growing experiences. It’s a huge joke now between my closest friends and I when we are truly ready to rid ourselves of any situation, whether work or personal, we simple laugh and say…”Roger that, over and out!”
A few phone calls and at least a week or so later, in fact I think it was even three weeks later, I met Roger out at a cute little beach restaurant and bar area close to the beach but equal driving distance for the two of us. Everything was going pretty good until another girl approached and started bubbling over with “OMG…Roger, I haven’t seen you in nearly six years! Great to see you again; it’s been too long! You look so good! Who’s your girlfriend; she’s so cute!” Issues already arising in my little head: one, she’s getting on my nerves with being too charismatic and two, I am not his girlfriend. I’m just the date for the night. Roger began an introduction saying with assertion: “Rachel, this is Kelly. Kelly, this is Rachel.” We exchanged “nice to meet you’s” and she continued to bubble over with questions for me about how many kids do you have? Do you live locally? What do you do? and more absolute digging deeper than my comfort of questioning for a true stranger. After about ten minutes of questions and I’m sure sensing that I was not on trial here, she excused herself and said “nice to meet you, Kelly.” I said
‘same to you” and walked away. When she was completely out of ear shot range, I turned to Roger and announced rather smoothly, “Oh, by the way, my name is not Kelly. Kelly is my sister and one of my closest friends, but you wouldn’t know that because we really only started talking a few weeks ago” Of course, by this he was a bit embarrassed and asked if he really called me Kelly. I answered a short and simple: “yes!” Maybe Kelly was an old girlfriend or someone I reminded him of. Either way, I basically turned around and started walking towards the door thinking to myself while laying a $10 bill on the bar for the one drink I had: “Roger that, over and out!” A phrase heard before, but never really used myself…until now!
It was truly probably one of the quickest one date wonders out there in my few, but growing experiences. It’s a huge joke now between my closest friends and I when we are truly ready to rid ourselves of any situation, whether work or personal, we simple laugh and say…”Roger that, over and out!”
Friday, May 28, 2010
chasing the sunset...
So, the OneDateWondergirl was out to have a second date…finally!! Not sure why all the first dates ended in just one, maybe I wasn’t ready to open up and let myself be vulnerable to a second. I could find a million plus one excuses why the guy wouldn’t make it past the first date, or maybe he decided I wouldn’t make it past. Either way, I had experienced a great first date months back and was happy to be going on a second with someone I wanted to know more of.
When Bret called to ask if I would like to go for a Sunday ride on his motorcycle, I have to admit I was a little nervous. It had been a long time since I had been on motorcycle and my knowledge of how to’s and what’s were minimal to almost none. It was a beautiful Spring day, but I recognized with the wind and nothing to block it, I might want to put a few more clothes on than shorts, a t-shirt and tennis shoes. I kept thinking back to the days of trying to learn to shoot pool at the biker bar on Wednesday nights and what the ladies were wearing who rolled in on bikes…simple, but casual and comfortable. Bret arrived to agree with my choice of clothing: jeans, boots and a shirt with a jacket. Nothing fancy for dress, just casual and comfortable like the other girls I took note of.
Bret’s idea was to go through the rules of riding as a passenger. As he explained the do’s and don’ts of riding, he wasn’t in the least overbearing in tone nor did he lose patience when having to repeat himself. I felt totally open and at ease in expressing my lack of knowledge in this arena, but the more he talked about riding, the more comfortable and relaxed I was. He described the plan: we would take a bit of time through the neighborhood for me to get use to turns and stops, then go out onto the main road for a small ride. If I was uncomfortable or scared, we could venture back to my place and he would continue on to meet up with his friends for a ride together. If I liked the short trip, I was welcome to carry on and ride with him for the afternoon. The friends would be taking some back roads, grab a bite to eat and then return home by sunset.
As I nervously got on the bike, I was coached on how to get on properly. Yes, this was a new experience for sure…not like getting on a horse, but still an ungraceful approach from my point of view. Bret just smiled and patiently explained how relaxing and trusting him would make it a more enjoyable ride. Somehow with those words, I just let go of control and let the beginning unfold to what would be. As we left my driveway into the streets, I was amazed at the comfort of the bike. The seat was soft leather, even heated. There were speakers playing an ipod favorites choice and as I wrapped my arms around his waist loosely, I had a comfort unlike any other. My fears were dissipating and I was out to enjoy the new journey of the open road, wind in my hair and even the bugs crashing into my face-extra protein Bret explained.
The neighborhood ride was smooth and easy. I learned to turn with him and just go naturally with the flow. As we ventured onto the main road, we went a little faster. It was exhilarating!! The feel of the wind against my skin, holding tightly, but not too tightly, to Bret was more enjoyment than I thought it would be. I’m certain that within the first fifteen minutes of our ride, Bret realized I was really enjoying myself. Just seeing his smile as we were riding assured me that he was enjoying it as much as I. When he asked if I was comfortable, I don’t think the full question was finished exiting his breath as I answered “absolutely!” There was no doubt I was ready for the long, day trip out on the open road.
Off we went to join up with his friends. We met at their house so that all could go off on the journey together. The friends were amazing! All were welcoming and even somewhat jovial as to the new rider and her first impressions. Of course, I didn’t mind the interest and enjoyed the talk of the seasoned riders and their stories of previous day trips, fun times and laughs along the way from days before. I felt a welcome into a day of comfort and ease not at all expected; yes, I was pleasantly surprised at my enjoyment of something so new and different from my “norm”. A friend once joked me that I wouldn’t know fun if it bit me in the butt, however, this was experiencing a whole new kind of fun…and I liked it!
No fewer than eight bikes headed out to the open road, chasing the day of fields, farms and winding roads. We left the city streets for the country and what most days I didn’t pay attention to while driving in the confounds of a car, were now becoming memories of different senses and smells I became acutely aware of as the wind brushed against our bodies while riding the motorcycle. The feelings were so unlike any I had ever known before. I was completely secure with Bret driving and the comfort of the ride was something I wasn’t prepared for mentally. I felt open. Just as earlier in the day trying it out for the first time in the neighborhood, I could see a smile on Bret’s face that he was also enjoying the ride and the company. I was shaping up to be a good passenger for this road trip. Of course, I had a good teacher to tell me the right ways to be a passenger.
When we stopped for lunch and a stretch, everyone enjoyed sharing the journey. I was reminded of an old saying: happiness is found in the journey, not the destination. How true this was and so appropriate for this day. As we all had our big burgers and fries with many other bikers in a small stop made for moments like this, I was having the time of my life! It may not have been anything to anyone else there, but to me it was the best day: simple and perfect! In my mind, life at this moment couldn’t get any better.
As we left the little lunch spot, all decided to go different ways. Bret and I would be heading back towards my place while the others were going to venture further out. Bret and I journeyed through the winding roads listening to music, laughing and trying to talk against the wind. As I tried to combat the wind to hear him, my helmet would bump his and he would just smile. I would readjust and then a few minutes later, it would happen again. Finally we made it towards the main roads and he asked if I would like to continue.
I didn’t want the day to end, but the sun was starting to set and I knew that eventually it would set on this experience. Bret decided we would “chase the sunset” and head onto the highway, go a little faster and have a little more fun before ending the day. As we pulled onto the on ramp, the sun was perfectly poised over the highway. The sky was changing colors, blue with light pinks blending and streaking. There were a few white clouds scattered about, but magnificent paintings only imaginable as the pallet of natural beauty was unfolding before our eyes. The picturesque scene is one that isn’t necessary to have photographed: it’s there in the mental pictures, snapshots of a moment in time. As the sun continued to set, the sky colors changed, increasing in different shades of now almost purples blending with blues and pinks. There were golden rays through the white, billowed clouds. As we passed one particular area, I noticed the kites flying on a hillside. There were many people enjoying the Spring day. It was perfect in every way!
But, as they say: all good things must come to an end. So, this day was no different. As the skies began to succumb to sunset, we ventured towards my house. Bret pulled into the driveway after our near silent ride back. I was on sensory overload and ready to resume the role of motherhood. I had enjoyed immensely the chase and would have a memory unlike any other. I’m certain it wasn’t scripted or planned by Bret, but some of the best things in life aren’t planned. We said our good bye’s and I thanked him for the ride. Yes, the date, the day, the companion, and the journey was great: and, the sun had set.
When Bret called to ask if I would like to go for a Sunday ride on his motorcycle, I have to admit I was a little nervous. It had been a long time since I had been on motorcycle and my knowledge of how to’s and what’s were minimal to almost none. It was a beautiful Spring day, but I recognized with the wind and nothing to block it, I might want to put a few more clothes on than shorts, a t-shirt and tennis shoes. I kept thinking back to the days of trying to learn to shoot pool at the biker bar on Wednesday nights and what the ladies were wearing who rolled in on bikes…simple, but casual and comfortable. Bret arrived to agree with my choice of clothing: jeans, boots and a shirt with a jacket. Nothing fancy for dress, just casual and comfortable like the other girls I took note of.
Bret’s idea was to go through the rules of riding as a passenger. As he explained the do’s and don’ts of riding, he wasn’t in the least overbearing in tone nor did he lose patience when having to repeat himself. I felt totally open and at ease in expressing my lack of knowledge in this arena, but the more he talked about riding, the more comfortable and relaxed I was. He described the plan: we would take a bit of time through the neighborhood for me to get use to turns and stops, then go out onto the main road for a small ride. If I was uncomfortable or scared, we could venture back to my place and he would continue on to meet up with his friends for a ride together. If I liked the short trip, I was welcome to carry on and ride with him for the afternoon. The friends would be taking some back roads, grab a bite to eat and then return home by sunset.
As I nervously got on the bike, I was coached on how to get on properly. Yes, this was a new experience for sure…not like getting on a horse, but still an ungraceful approach from my point of view. Bret just smiled and patiently explained how relaxing and trusting him would make it a more enjoyable ride. Somehow with those words, I just let go of control and let the beginning unfold to what would be. As we left my driveway into the streets, I was amazed at the comfort of the bike. The seat was soft leather, even heated. There were speakers playing an ipod favorites choice and as I wrapped my arms around his waist loosely, I had a comfort unlike any other. My fears were dissipating and I was out to enjoy the new journey of the open road, wind in my hair and even the bugs crashing into my face-extra protein Bret explained.
The neighborhood ride was smooth and easy. I learned to turn with him and just go naturally with the flow. As we ventured onto the main road, we went a little faster. It was exhilarating!! The feel of the wind against my skin, holding tightly, but not too tightly, to Bret was more enjoyment than I thought it would be. I’m certain that within the first fifteen minutes of our ride, Bret realized I was really enjoying myself. Just seeing his smile as we were riding assured me that he was enjoying it as much as I. When he asked if I was comfortable, I don’t think the full question was finished exiting his breath as I answered “absolutely!” There was no doubt I was ready for the long, day trip out on the open road.
Off we went to join up with his friends. We met at their house so that all could go off on the journey together. The friends were amazing! All were welcoming and even somewhat jovial as to the new rider and her first impressions. Of course, I didn’t mind the interest and enjoyed the talk of the seasoned riders and their stories of previous day trips, fun times and laughs along the way from days before. I felt a welcome into a day of comfort and ease not at all expected; yes, I was pleasantly surprised at my enjoyment of something so new and different from my “norm”. A friend once joked me that I wouldn’t know fun if it bit me in the butt, however, this was experiencing a whole new kind of fun…and I liked it!
No fewer than eight bikes headed out to the open road, chasing the day of fields, farms and winding roads. We left the city streets for the country and what most days I didn’t pay attention to while driving in the confounds of a car, were now becoming memories of different senses and smells I became acutely aware of as the wind brushed against our bodies while riding the motorcycle. The feelings were so unlike any I had ever known before. I was completely secure with Bret driving and the comfort of the ride was something I wasn’t prepared for mentally. I felt open. Just as earlier in the day trying it out for the first time in the neighborhood, I could see a smile on Bret’s face that he was also enjoying the ride and the company. I was shaping up to be a good passenger for this road trip. Of course, I had a good teacher to tell me the right ways to be a passenger.
When we stopped for lunch and a stretch, everyone enjoyed sharing the journey. I was reminded of an old saying: happiness is found in the journey, not the destination. How true this was and so appropriate for this day. As we all had our big burgers and fries with many other bikers in a small stop made for moments like this, I was having the time of my life! It may not have been anything to anyone else there, but to me it was the best day: simple and perfect! In my mind, life at this moment couldn’t get any better.
As we left the little lunch spot, all decided to go different ways. Bret and I would be heading back towards my place while the others were going to venture further out. Bret and I journeyed through the winding roads listening to music, laughing and trying to talk against the wind. As I tried to combat the wind to hear him, my helmet would bump his and he would just smile. I would readjust and then a few minutes later, it would happen again. Finally we made it towards the main roads and he asked if I would like to continue.
I didn’t want the day to end, but the sun was starting to set and I knew that eventually it would set on this experience. Bret decided we would “chase the sunset” and head onto the highway, go a little faster and have a little more fun before ending the day. As we pulled onto the on ramp, the sun was perfectly poised over the highway. The sky was changing colors, blue with light pinks blending and streaking. There were a few white clouds scattered about, but magnificent paintings only imaginable as the pallet of natural beauty was unfolding before our eyes. The picturesque scene is one that isn’t necessary to have photographed: it’s there in the mental pictures, snapshots of a moment in time. As the sun continued to set, the sky colors changed, increasing in different shades of now almost purples blending with blues and pinks. There were golden rays through the white, billowed clouds. As we passed one particular area, I noticed the kites flying on a hillside. There were many people enjoying the Spring day. It was perfect in every way!
But, as they say: all good things must come to an end. So, this day was no different. As the skies began to succumb to sunset, we ventured towards my house. Bret pulled into the driveway after our near silent ride back. I was on sensory overload and ready to resume the role of motherhood. I had enjoyed immensely the chase and would have a memory unlike any other. I’m certain it wasn’t scripted or planned by Bret, but some of the best things in life aren’t planned. We said our good bye’s and I thanked him for the ride. Yes, the date, the day, the companion, and the journey was great: and, the sun had set.
Friday, May 21, 2010
So you gotta car...
After an earlier yet disastrous first date and my walk out, I met this guy Richard who, for whatever reason, decided to hone in on me like a missile on a target getting ready to blow up at a locals beach pub. We talked on and off through the night, as I mingled and he continued to always come back to me. Eventually he cut to the chase, asking for my number. What the heck…I know I don’t know him and just met him, but if I were to experience this dating thing after divorce, I would need to take some risks and see where it goes. He looked decent enough, wearing a pair of jeans and a white shirt of some blend with a casual look, but maybe even a bit of flair with an onyx ring on the right hand. I don’t know many guys sporting rings other than college rings, but this one was different and certainly noticeable.
A few days later, an unknown number called my cell phone. I decided not to answer it but send to voice mail. Later that night, I checked my messages to hear Richard saying he enjoyed meeting me and would like me to call him back. It was a simple, but to the point message. I didn’t return the call until the next day, only to hear he was not available to talk but asked if he could call back later. Sure, whatever. Wasn’t holding my asthmatic breath, but if he called, I would probably answer now that I know who the number belongs to. Later that night he called and we talked real briefly. He asked me out for the Friday night upcoming and I agreed. Pretty easy, quick and painless. This was not as hard as I thought, meeting guys and going out thing. Mom was right, I can do this!
Friday came and he offered to pick me up. Well, I have this rule about people coming to my house and picking me up: it’s just a “what not to do” for me. I don’t like people to know where I live, subjecting my children in any way to potential dates or even letting them know I am dating around. Their welfare and protection is my top priority. My private life is VERY private and any dates just aren’t welcome until I get to know them. My philosophy has always been: if someone wants to screw me over, I’m an adult and can handle it, but my kids…no way! Oops, got off track; back to the date! So, we met at a meeting place midway and decided to go in his car.
His car…oh my! I wasn’t even sure what it was, but knew just by design it was n..i..c..e or these days they say PHAT! When I entered the passenger side, the interior was suede, soft leather and absolutely immaculate. As we started out towards the restaurant, it began to rain. Richard was telling me all about his car. It was a real sports car, custom designed and ordered for him, only a few on the East Coast like it. He explains he is a real car enthusiast and spends most of his free time and money playing with his car, cleaning it and continuing to customize it. Even has had it featured in a few magazines and just is overjoyed by it’s power. I confess, although not catholic as mentioned before, it really was impressive! As he shifted gears from the red light, we took off like a rocket! We were at 86 miles per hour in just two blocks! Wow! It was crazy! Plus, it was luxury nice! Then he told me the price…holy crap, Batman! That’s almost three times my annual salary!!
We arrived at the restaurant and by now the rain was coming down harder than before. He began to freak out about how he couldn’t believe he had his car out in this weather. It’s just a car, I was thinking. No, it was not just a car in his eyes. This was his baby! His pride and joy! And, she was getting water spots, rain debris and dirt splashes from the road. A little freaky, but we all have our passion. Dinner was nice, but the conversation totally revolved around his car. How he had spent x amount of dollars on trading out the tires, adding Pirelli’s and custom hub cabs and even the little center emblem of the tires was changed out…on a car! Crazy! I didn’t really understand any of it, except that it costs a lot and that’s where he spends most of his time, tinkering with “her” in the evening hours. Well, that’s not such a bad hobby, I guess. Every body has their thing and this is his. No kids to shuffle to and from sports events, work functions, but a hobby of making sure the car is clean and just as it came off the showroom or production floor. Things could be worse, right? His hobby could be 12 oz. curls and a bar; plus, he could drive a beat up Chevy with a bungee cord holding the passenger door on!
After dinner, he decided we might want to drive to an outdoor bar/ band area to enjoy the beach or at least go dancing and hang out. But, wait, it was raining still…remember? As I got into the car, he cringed…out loud I heard him say, “There’s dirt on my floor mats!” Of course there’s dirt! I walked across the parking lot and got in; I don’t have wings and certainly can’t fly-I have two legs and I walk! Neither did I take off my shoes to enter the car as the sign in Hawaii at the door to friends home suggested “Mahalo for removing your shoes!” It was a car and I stepped in to sit and go to the next place. Nope…I had brought dirt in. Oh, crap! Now, I’m in trouble. As he is trying to brush the dirt off, with rain still pouring down, I couldn’t help but think he was for sure neurotic about his car and too much so for me. I take good care of my car, a nice one at that, but I am not obsessive about it. I tote the kids to and from their events, toss work stuff and golf clubs in the back, no weird smell inside and no leftover Mickey D’s or coffee cups floating about. Every now and then I clean it myself and can be somewhat OCD about getting the stray dog hair out of the carpet or dirt from the all weather mats. But, not like this. Why bring the car out if you know it’s going to rain and you aren’t going to be comfortable with this? I’m a simple girl and as the song goes: “so, you gotta’ car…that don’t impress me much!-No, oh no!”…”That won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night…” For sure!
So, I asked if he would just take me to my car and we would call it a night. He announced he really didn’t want to drive all the way across town to where my car was parked. He didn’t want to get his car any dirtier than it already was in the rain. Finally, his idea unfolded and was verbalized: “you can just stay at my place and I will take you back in the morning.” What kind of girl do you think I am? I just met you and…no..I’m not staying at your place! Well, he continued to come up with brilliant plans: I could just sleep on the couch or he would even give up his bed. “Don’t you want to be my girlfriend?” he asked. I quickly answered a big fat “No! I just met you and I’m not so sure I even like you!-for real!!” Dig deeper, buddy! I just want to go home to my house and that hole you are digging is getting deeper and deeper the more you talk! And by the way, no you aren’t invited to my house either! You can sleep with your car tonight and for the rest of your life, as far as I’m concerned.
I pressed even harder: take me to my car, or be a real man maybe for once in your life, or at least a gentleman, and call me a taxi. Your choice, but either way, I am going home-to my house and alone! After much deliberation, and seeing that I was really over the whole car thing and not going to do anything with him tonight or ever, he drove me to my car. I said a quick good-night, waved a polite “see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya” good bye, got in my rain soaked car, shoes on and all weather mats on the floor. Oh the comfort of my car-I’m back in the driver’s seat!
A few days later, an unknown number called my cell phone. I decided not to answer it but send to voice mail. Later that night, I checked my messages to hear Richard saying he enjoyed meeting me and would like me to call him back. It was a simple, but to the point message. I didn’t return the call until the next day, only to hear he was not available to talk but asked if he could call back later. Sure, whatever. Wasn’t holding my asthmatic breath, but if he called, I would probably answer now that I know who the number belongs to. Later that night he called and we talked real briefly. He asked me out for the Friday night upcoming and I agreed. Pretty easy, quick and painless. This was not as hard as I thought, meeting guys and going out thing. Mom was right, I can do this!
Friday came and he offered to pick me up. Well, I have this rule about people coming to my house and picking me up: it’s just a “what not to do” for me. I don’t like people to know where I live, subjecting my children in any way to potential dates or even letting them know I am dating around. Their welfare and protection is my top priority. My private life is VERY private and any dates just aren’t welcome until I get to know them. My philosophy has always been: if someone wants to screw me over, I’m an adult and can handle it, but my kids…no way! Oops, got off track; back to the date! So, we met at a meeting place midway and decided to go in his car.
His car…oh my! I wasn’t even sure what it was, but knew just by design it was n..i..c..e or these days they say PHAT! When I entered the passenger side, the interior was suede, soft leather and absolutely immaculate. As we started out towards the restaurant, it began to rain. Richard was telling me all about his car. It was a real sports car, custom designed and ordered for him, only a few on the East Coast like it. He explains he is a real car enthusiast and spends most of his free time and money playing with his car, cleaning it and continuing to customize it. Even has had it featured in a few magazines and just is overjoyed by it’s power. I confess, although not catholic as mentioned before, it really was impressive! As he shifted gears from the red light, we took off like a rocket! We were at 86 miles per hour in just two blocks! Wow! It was crazy! Plus, it was luxury nice! Then he told me the price…holy crap, Batman! That’s almost three times my annual salary!!
We arrived at the restaurant and by now the rain was coming down harder than before. He began to freak out about how he couldn’t believe he had his car out in this weather. It’s just a car, I was thinking. No, it was not just a car in his eyes. This was his baby! His pride and joy! And, she was getting water spots, rain debris and dirt splashes from the road. A little freaky, but we all have our passion. Dinner was nice, but the conversation totally revolved around his car. How he had spent x amount of dollars on trading out the tires, adding Pirelli’s and custom hub cabs and even the little center emblem of the tires was changed out…on a car! Crazy! I didn’t really understand any of it, except that it costs a lot and that’s where he spends most of his time, tinkering with “her” in the evening hours. Well, that’s not such a bad hobby, I guess. Every body has their thing and this is his. No kids to shuffle to and from sports events, work functions, but a hobby of making sure the car is clean and just as it came off the showroom or production floor. Things could be worse, right? His hobby could be 12 oz. curls and a bar; plus, he could drive a beat up Chevy with a bungee cord holding the passenger door on!
After dinner, he decided we might want to drive to an outdoor bar/ band area to enjoy the beach or at least go dancing and hang out. But, wait, it was raining still…remember? As I got into the car, he cringed…out loud I heard him say, “There’s dirt on my floor mats!” Of course there’s dirt! I walked across the parking lot and got in; I don’t have wings and certainly can’t fly-I have two legs and I walk! Neither did I take off my shoes to enter the car as the sign in Hawaii at the door to friends home suggested “Mahalo for removing your shoes!” It was a car and I stepped in to sit and go to the next place. Nope…I had brought dirt in. Oh, crap! Now, I’m in trouble. As he is trying to brush the dirt off, with rain still pouring down, I couldn’t help but think he was for sure neurotic about his car and too much so for me. I take good care of my car, a nice one at that, but I am not obsessive about it. I tote the kids to and from their events, toss work stuff and golf clubs in the back, no weird smell inside and no leftover Mickey D’s or coffee cups floating about. Every now and then I clean it myself and can be somewhat OCD about getting the stray dog hair out of the carpet or dirt from the all weather mats. But, not like this. Why bring the car out if you know it’s going to rain and you aren’t going to be comfortable with this? I’m a simple girl and as the song goes: “so, you gotta’ car…that don’t impress me much!-No, oh no!”…”That won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night…” For sure!
So, I asked if he would just take me to my car and we would call it a night. He announced he really didn’t want to drive all the way across town to where my car was parked. He didn’t want to get his car any dirtier than it already was in the rain. Finally, his idea unfolded and was verbalized: “you can just stay at my place and I will take you back in the morning.” What kind of girl do you think I am? I just met you and…no..I’m not staying at your place! Well, he continued to come up with brilliant plans: I could just sleep on the couch or he would even give up his bed. “Don’t you want to be my girlfriend?” he asked. I quickly answered a big fat “No! I just met you and I’m not so sure I even like you!-for real!!” Dig deeper, buddy! I just want to go home to my house and that hole you are digging is getting deeper and deeper the more you talk! And by the way, no you aren’t invited to my house either! You can sleep with your car tonight and for the rest of your life, as far as I’m concerned.
I pressed even harder: take me to my car, or be a real man maybe for once in your life, or at least a gentleman, and call me a taxi. Your choice, but either way, I am going home-to my house and alone! After much deliberation, and seeing that I was really over the whole car thing and not going to do anything with him tonight or ever, he drove me to my car. I said a quick good-night, waved a polite “see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya” good bye, got in my rain soaked car, shoes on and all weather mats on the floor. Oh the comfort of my car-I’m back in the driver’s seat!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Trick or Treat...
For a gal who never really gets into Halloween, this year was going to be different! I would finally venture out into the world as a complete unknown for the night in full costume and have some fun! No need to worry about who I am with or going solo because this year I have a party pal to take to the party too!
The whole costume idea came about when I was with this guy friend that I was seeing off and on. As we were talking about his excessive schedule and travel for work, he mentioned that he just did not have time to keep up with the housework and chores of maintaining a home…what he really needed was a maid. Hmmm…now there’s an idea! I knew that we had an invitation to a costume party and meeting up with some of my friends for the night. For the first time they would be meeting this guy who I had taken a liking to and could not stop talking about.
As the week went on, I searched and searched for the perfect maid costume. I tried the “tricks and treat” store for adults, but that costume was…how shall I say: a “little” too much for me. My girlfriend, Sara, who we were going to the party with, suggested I try the open only in October stores. PERFECT!! I found her: the French maid costume complete with feather duster-how cute!! No need to try on, just buy it off the shelf, in the pretty plastic pack. Better get a large, Sara shared, as these are always smaller than what you think, missy! She is way more into Halloween than I, but this year I’m going to get into it too! Oh yeah don’t forget the fish net stockings! Great… costume purchased, now get a wig! I settled on a blond, long wig with beautiful highlights…a total opposite to my normal short brown style.
Trying to raise the excitement level and anticipation for the guy, I decided to take the cover out of the package, write a note and place it under the windshield of his car parked in long term parking at the airport on Thursday night. He would arrive Friday to see that yes..there is a party plan for sure for Halloween…yes, wow! trick or treat!!:-)
Halloween morning arrived and I had a pretty busy day planned. I would be golfing that morning with my normal golf buddy at my home course and then later that evening I would be joining Sara and Mike for the costume party. Sara was anxiously awaiting an introduction to Taylor. As the golf day went on Sara kept calling asking times to meet, logistics finalizing and had I heard anything from Taylor? No, but I am sure he will make it. We had talked about it, he got the photo thing and I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything. I kept on playing golf, my partner getting a bit concerned that my party plans might just be unraveling as the hours passed and still no response from the party companion. My golf game was somewhat interrupted most of the morning with Sara continuing to call, text and ask questions that I truly didn’t have the answers to. After the front nine, I turned off my phone! DJ was so thankful-I think I saw him skipping up the fairway!!:-)
I returned home from a GREAT day of golf to jump into the pool and relax a little before changing into costume. I still hadn’t heard a word from Taylor. No response to text, left a voice message, but again no response. By this time, I had clued into this may not work out like I had planned in my head. I had to come up with an alternative plan, but wasn’t really sure. What I really wanted to do was go to the party with Taylor, wearing my maid costume-a play on our previous discussion and let him see another fun side of me. But, the realities might just be otherwise.
Well, after my swim and shower, I put on my costume and called my ever so faithful golf buddy and invited myself to his party. Yep, desperate times had called for desperate measures! I had to develop a plan B to go with since plan A was obviously not happening. As I was dressed and ready to head out the door, I finally got a text from Taylor: not feeling well, staying home tonight. Have fun at the party. Hmmm….is this the “trick” in trick or treat?
To say I was disappointed was quite an understatement, but I wasn’t going to let that ruin my night. I was going out in full costume, blond wig, feather duster and all as planned, minus Taylor! There was one slight glitch in the costume, however, which I am certain would have been fine for some, but not me: the costume’s skirt showed all the “girl stuff” even with the fish nets. A quick stop at Walmart for some black, shaper shorts (not what you think) would be perfect. Whew, now I feel better and ready to face the world!!
DJ had decided we should go to his Halloween party and meet up with his friends.If Sara and Mike wanted to join us later, they would be welcomed. Sara began ranting on the phone when I finally called to tell her I had drafted a Plan B for the night. WTF-(not where’s the fire, in this case!)you got ditched on Halloween?!! OMG..she went on and on.Okay, okay, I get it!! Don’t make it any worse than it already is. Let’s just try to move on and forget about it, please!!
Off DJ and I went to the open air beach party at a locals hang out. It was truly a beautiful night at the beach! DJ’s pubic party place had no fewer than several hundred- all in costume having a blast! Surprisingly there was only one maid at the costume party: me! I had scored a real hit with this costume idea this year! With such a smashing costume, many offers for drinks were given…and taken!! I guess one could say to some degree, I was drowning the ditching dilemma down and truly trying to forget about it one way or another.
At some point in the night, Batman had entered the scene. He looked at me and decided I would be the target for getting to know and enjoy. Poor DJ observed the swooping and made a warning bell ring- DING!DING! as Batman approached, offering to buy me a drink. Not having anything to lose and not really caring at this point, I accepted yet another drink offer. DJ and I talked to Batman and his crew for sometime and escaped to mingle with others throughout the party. Sara and Mike finally showed up and we all had lots of laughs. I had almost forgotten I was on Plan B for the night.
Later that evening, I was dancing with Batman…shaking the total groove thing without a care in the world. Sara and Mike had left, the party participants excelled in numbers and it was standing room only outside under the night sky. DJ doesn’t drink at all ever, so he continued to observe the maid cautiously with round two through whatever. Rarely do I drink more than one glass of wine or cocktail, but rarely do I get ditched, or make party plans at Halloween, etc. At some point, I ended up cornered by Batman talking to me privately. Thankfully, DJ came to my rescue and asked if I was ready to go. Without hesitation, I said “yes” and we headed home for the night. I was thankful for the rescue and realized quite quickly that going home now would be the best bet for all involved, especially the maid!!
The drive home was uneventful, a mere blur of conversation and thankfulness for a designated driver. DJ politely walked me to my door and helped me inside. Thank God for real friends who are there at your lowest times, when reality hits you in the face and you are trying to make sense out of something senseless. No, there was no praying to the porcelain God with “Bob” my pillow by my side, just a crashing into my Hilton bed! This Halloween was now a real “trick” not a “treat" in my book of memories post divorce. Regardless of beverages consumed, the sobering reality of the night could not be minimized.
And Batman, you wonder…whatever happened with him? A few days after Halloween I received a text message: “Bat cave needs cleaning, can I make an appointment?” I was mortified…I don’t even remember giving out my phone number! A quick reply “No. maid comes to town once a year.” Now, there’s a real “TRICK OR TREAT!!" candy corn and all!
The whole costume idea came about when I was with this guy friend that I was seeing off and on. As we were talking about his excessive schedule and travel for work, he mentioned that he just did not have time to keep up with the housework and chores of maintaining a home…what he really needed was a maid. Hmmm…now there’s an idea! I knew that we had an invitation to a costume party and meeting up with some of my friends for the night. For the first time they would be meeting this guy who I had taken a liking to and could not stop talking about.
As the week went on, I searched and searched for the perfect maid costume. I tried the “tricks and treat” store for adults, but that costume was…how shall I say: a “little” too much for me. My girlfriend, Sara, who we were going to the party with, suggested I try the open only in October stores. PERFECT!! I found her: the French maid costume complete with feather duster-how cute!! No need to try on, just buy it off the shelf, in the pretty plastic pack. Better get a large, Sara shared, as these are always smaller than what you think, missy! She is way more into Halloween than I, but this year I’m going to get into it too! Oh yeah don’t forget the fish net stockings! Great… costume purchased, now get a wig! I settled on a blond, long wig with beautiful highlights…a total opposite to my normal short brown style.
Trying to raise the excitement level and anticipation for the guy, I decided to take the cover out of the package, write a note and place it under the windshield of his car parked in long term parking at the airport on Thursday night. He would arrive Friday to see that yes..there is a party plan for sure for Halloween…yes, wow! trick or treat!!:-)
Halloween morning arrived and I had a pretty busy day planned. I would be golfing that morning with my normal golf buddy at my home course and then later that evening I would be joining Sara and Mike for the costume party. Sara was anxiously awaiting an introduction to Taylor. As the golf day went on Sara kept calling asking times to meet, logistics finalizing and had I heard anything from Taylor? No, but I am sure he will make it. We had talked about it, he got the photo thing and I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything. I kept on playing golf, my partner getting a bit concerned that my party plans might just be unraveling as the hours passed and still no response from the party companion. My golf game was somewhat interrupted most of the morning with Sara continuing to call, text and ask questions that I truly didn’t have the answers to. After the front nine, I turned off my phone! DJ was so thankful-I think I saw him skipping up the fairway!!:-)
I returned home from a GREAT day of golf to jump into the pool and relax a little before changing into costume. I still hadn’t heard a word from Taylor. No response to text, left a voice message, but again no response. By this time, I had clued into this may not work out like I had planned in my head. I had to come up with an alternative plan, but wasn’t really sure. What I really wanted to do was go to the party with Taylor, wearing my maid costume-a play on our previous discussion and let him see another fun side of me. But, the realities might just be otherwise.
Well, after my swim and shower, I put on my costume and called my ever so faithful golf buddy and invited myself to his party. Yep, desperate times had called for desperate measures! I had to develop a plan B to go with since plan A was obviously not happening. As I was dressed and ready to head out the door, I finally got a text from Taylor: not feeling well, staying home tonight. Have fun at the party. Hmmm….is this the “trick” in trick or treat?
To say I was disappointed was quite an understatement, but I wasn’t going to let that ruin my night. I was going out in full costume, blond wig, feather duster and all as planned, minus Taylor! There was one slight glitch in the costume, however, which I am certain would have been fine for some, but not me: the costume’s skirt showed all the “girl stuff” even with the fish nets. A quick stop at Walmart for some black, shaper shorts (not what you think) would be perfect. Whew, now I feel better and ready to face the world!!
DJ had decided we should go to his Halloween party and meet up with his friends.If Sara and Mike wanted to join us later, they would be welcomed. Sara began ranting on the phone when I finally called to tell her I had drafted a Plan B for the night. WTF-(not where’s the fire, in this case!)you got ditched on Halloween?!! OMG..she went on and on.Okay, okay, I get it!! Don’t make it any worse than it already is. Let’s just try to move on and forget about it, please!!
Off DJ and I went to the open air beach party at a locals hang out. It was truly a beautiful night at the beach! DJ’s pubic party place had no fewer than several hundred- all in costume having a blast! Surprisingly there was only one maid at the costume party: me! I had scored a real hit with this costume idea this year! With such a smashing costume, many offers for drinks were given…and taken!! I guess one could say to some degree, I was drowning the ditching dilemma down and truly trying to forget about it one way or another.
At some point in the night, Batman had entered the scene. He looked at me and decided I would be the target for getting to know and enjoy. Poor DJ observed the swooping and made a warning bell ring- DING!DING! as Batman approached, offering to buy me a drink. Not having anything to lose and not really caring at this point, I accepted yet another drink offer. DJ and I talked to Batman and his crew for sometime and escaped to mingle with others throughout the party. Sara and Mike finally showed up and we all had lots of laughs. I had almost forgotten I was on Plan B for the night.
Later that evening, I was dancing with Batman…shaking the total groove thing without a care in the world. Sara and Mike had left, the party participants excelled in numbers and it was standing room only outside under the night sky. DJ doesn’t drink at all ever, so he continued to observe the maid cautiously with round two through whatever. Rarely do I drink more than one glass of wine or cocktail, but rarely do I get ditched, or make party plans at Halloween, etc. At some point, I ended up cornered by Batman talking to me privately. Thankfully, DJ came to my rescue and asked if I was ready to go. Without hesitation, I said “yes” and we headed home for the night. I was thankful for the rescue and realized quite quickly that going home now would be the best bet for all involved, especially the maid!!
The drive home was uneventful, a mere blur of conversation and thankfulness for a designated driver. DJ politely walked me to my door and helped me inside. Thank God for real friends who are there at your lowest times, when reality hits you in the face and you are trying to make sense out of something senseless. No, there was no praying to the porcelain God with “Bob” my pillow by my side, just a crashing into my Hilton bed! This Halloween was now a real “trick” not a “treat" in my book of memories post divorce. Regardless of beverages consumed, the sobering reality of the night could not be minimized.
And Batman, you wonder…whatever happened with him? A few days after Halloween I received a text message: “Bat cave needs cleaning, can I make an appointment?” I was mortified…I don’t even remember giving out my phone number! A quick reply “No. maid comes to town once a year.” Now, there’s a real “TRICK OR TREAT!!" candy corn and all!
Friday, May 7, 2010
winging it...
There comes a time or cycle in the dating after divorce where you hit the pity party slump and realize that your pillow has now become your bedmate. You've named him "Bob" because he has no arms or legs, doesn't complain if you steal the covers or even snore...Yes, pretty pathetic I know. So, in the slump you try everything out there: the dating services, the friends, the on line stuff...it's like you are on a mission. Well, I had hit that slump or bump and I was going to go for it all!
I joined an online dating service that was pretty exclusive and had a limited pool of members who all shared one common interest: they enjoyed keeping fit! No, not 12 oz curls daily or running to the toilet, but really keeping fit. My routine had consisted of biking, golfing and yoga so I considered myself fit and worthy of membership...paid, of course!! It wasn't like the match or plentyof fish site with a fresh meat hanging in the market feel or photos that were years old or even trying to figure out if these guys were who they said they were. No, this was real and the photos of member, answers to the profile questions told the truth. So, I was happy to join and have someone else do some of the filtering for me. Life is short and might as well try every avenue, right?
So, a few weeks into this online thing I had a message from a guy Matt saying he liked my profile and picture...yeah, yeah, yeah...you and everyone else who has responded. Thanks...be original!! But, he looked somewhat familar. Do I know you? Maybe we have met? I'm not sure because in my job I meet lots of people and I am almost positive we have met. Okay, just keep it simple and respond back politely. Done.
Later that very week the dating service called and asked if I could do dinner say Thursday night with an architect, Matt, age 43, divorced and 2 children. Are you serious? I think that's the same guy I have been sent the message from the online site. How coincidental is that? Well, not believing in coincidences or the fickle finger of fate, but the hand of God I felt this must be a sign!! Sure, maybe I am suppose to really meet this guy! The arrangements were made to meet and possibly dine at a posh wine bar/ restaurant near the ocean front. I had been there only once before but had a nice time there with the friends.
I arrived before Matt and placed myself at the bar with some really fun folks gathering after five. No, I didn't know any of them but had already accepted the invitation if things didn't work out with Matt, I could join their party! GREAT!! Matt was casually late and looked exactly like his photo. A runners physique for sure, tall and thin with a nice smile. We decided to grab a table where it would be more intimate for getting to know one another. Matt truly was just what he stated in his profile. I could tell from our first few minutes, he was exactly a no bull or flowering, fluffing the stuff kindof guy. Black and white...no grey!
So as the waitress came to take our drink order, I asked for a nice glass of pinot noir. Matt, on the other hand, asked for a Miller Light. WHAT? We are at a wine bar/ restaurant...posh at that...and you order a Miller Light!Oh my...I think this could be an arising issue. The little waitress was taken aback, like me, and said she would see if they had them. She politely returned to announce they were sold out...yeah right, they don't even stock that!! She asked for an alternative and he said a Budweiser. Holy crap...you went from low to lower on the beer totem pole. I'm not a beer snob, wine snob, or drink snob at all but I have learned a little bit of what not to do. When in Rome? Ever heard of that one Matt? Nope, he kept on with the cheap, domestic stuff.
As if that weren't bad enough, but managable, we proceeded to peruse the menu and decide what appetizer to endulge in for the evening. No, we would not be sharing and no, I'm not feeding you and you aren't feeding me. I decided a she crap soup would be nice and a few pita slices with humus would do just fine. Matt, however, decided on chicken wings. OMG...are you serious? You ordered a cheap a*s beer and now chicken wings!! Why didn't you just suggest Hooters? They have exactly what you like..cheap beer, chicken wings and even half dressed women for dessert!! Friends, we have just crashed!!
I tried to endure the remainder of the night, listening to his fly-fishing stories, this and that. To be quite honest, I don't think I was tuned in at all...I think I was just eating my soup, half way listening and wishing I could ditch this guy and go hang out at the bar with those folks who really were interesting!! My one hour time was nearly up with Matt and I was ready for the check! Our little waitress came over to settle up and wish us well for the night. As she handed Matt the bill, he asked "How do you want to handle this?" I said I would be happy to pay for my drink and appetizers. He suggested we split the bill in half. Looking back that seems generous of him to some degree, but I was thinking "NO WAY AM I PAYING FOR HALF YOUR CHEAP A*S BEER AND CHICKEN WINGS!!"
The night was a total lead balloon!! So much for winging it...now this has a whole new meaning!!:-)
I joined an online dating service that was pretty exclusive and had a limited pool of members who all shared one common interest: they enjoyed keeping fit! No, not 12 oz curls daily or running to the toilet, but really keeping fit. My routine had consisted of biking, golfing and yoga so I considered myself fit and worthy of membership...paid, of course!! It wasn't like the match or plentyof fish site with a fresh meat hanging in the market feel or photos that were years old or even trying to figure out if these guys were who they said they were. No, this was real and the photos of member, answers to the profile questions told the truth. So, I was happy to join and have someone else do some of the filtering for me. Life is short and might as well try every avenue, right?
So, a few weeks into this online thing I had a message from a guy Matt saying he liked my profile and picture...yeah, yeah, yeah...you and everyone else who has responded. Thanks...be original!! But, he looked somewhat familar. Do I know you? Maybe we have met? I'm not sure because in my job I meet lots of people and I am almost positive we have met. Okay, just keep it simple and respond back politely. Done.
Later that very week the dating service called and asked if I could do dinner say Thursday night with an architect, Matt, age 43, divorced and 2 children. Are you serious? I think that's the same guy I have been sent the message from the online site. How coincidental is that? Well, not believing in coincidences or the fickle finger of fate, but the hand of God I felt this must be a sign!! Sure, maybe I am suppose to really meet this guy! The arrangements were made to meet and possibly dine at a posh wine bar/ restaurant near the ocean front. I had been there only once before but had a nice time there with the friends.
I arrived before Matt and placed myself at the bar with some really fun folks gathering after five. No, I didn't know any of them but had already accepted the invitation if things didn't work out with Matt, I could join their party! GREAT!! Matt was casually late and looked exactly like his photo. A runners physique for sure, tall and thin with a nice smile. We decided to grab a table where it would be more intimate for getting to know one another. Matt truly was just what he stated in his profile. I could tell from our first few minutes, he was exactly a no bull or flowering, fluffing the stuff kindof guy. Black and white...no grey!
So as the waitress came to take our drink order, I asked for a nice glass of pinot noir. Matt, on the other hand, asked for a Miller Light. WHAT? We are at a wine bar/ restaurant...posh at that...and you order a Miller Light!Oh my...I think this could be an arising issue. The little waitress was taken aback, like me, and said she would see if they had them. She politely returned to announce they were sold out...yeah right, they don't even stock that!! She asked for an alternative and he said a Budweiser. Holy crap...you went from low to lower on the beer totem pole. I'm not a beer snob, wine snob, or drink snob at all but I have learned a little bit of what not to do. When in Rome? Ever heard of that one Matt? Nope, he kept on with the cheap, domestic stuff.
As if that weren't bad enough, but managable, we proceeded to peruse the menu and decide what appetizer to endulge in for the evening. No, we would not be sharing and no, I'm not feeding you and you aren't feeding me. I decided a she crap soup would be nice and a few pita slices with humus would do just fine. Matt, however, decided on chicken wings. OMG...are you serious? You ordered a cheap a*s beer and now chicken wings!! Why didn't you just suggest Hooters? They have exactly what you like..cheap beer, chicken wings and even half dressed women for dessert!! Friends, we have just crashed!!
I tried to endure the remainder of the night, listening to his fly-fishing stories, this and that. To be quite honest, I don't think I was tuned in at all...I think I was just eating my soup, half way listening and wishing I could ditch this guy and go hang out at the bar with those folks who really were interesting!! My one hour time was nearly up with Matt and I was ready for the check! Our little waitress came over to settle up and wish us well for the night. As she handed Matt the bill, he asked "How do you want to handle this?" I said I would be happy to pay for my drink and appetizers. He suggested we split the bill in half. Looking back that seems generous of him to some degree, but I was thinking "NO WAY AM I PAYING FOR HALF YOUR CHEAP A*S BEER AND CHICKEN WINGS!!"
The night was a total lead balloon!! So much for winging it...now this has a whole new meaning!!:-)
Saturday, May 1, 2010
First impressions...
Well, here's the start of something wonderful and wild to share...my wild side...:-)
I am certain that in the past postings, all would think I'm somewhat conservative and wouldn't know FUN if it bit me in the butt, however...I have been somewhat adventuresome since my break of writing and publishing stories. I have nothing to lose, but possibly gaining if I just let my short hair down and experience life as never before. Live, love, laugh as if there's no tomorrow, right? SO, ready or not...here comes the sharing, all truth and nothing but the truth...and laughter!!
I had met this guy Rick from a friend of a friend. We were all suppose to go out for a meet and greet/ dinner one night. My friend is a professional woman who works with Rick in the banking industry and thought we may enjoy meeting one another, then go from there. As previously written, I had been on numerous one dates with set ups from both friends and the professional dating service, even taken some time out to date exclusively, but was open now for new opportunities....why not?
We arrived at the meeting spot only to learn that my friend had decided plan b was a better alternative. (where have I experienced that before-GREAT!!) So, here I sat with Mr.rick for the night, Mr. right now, trying to fill in blanks, left to my own devices. However, I was really impressed by his asking on the first call "what do you know about me?" Seriously, I know NOTHING about you...except for your first name...I don't even know your last name!! What do you know about me? I asked. Same response...WHEW!! We were the blind leading the blind...let's see how much fun we can have with this one?? You tell me what you want me to know and I will do the same!! Clean slate to build on! I like it!!
And, as if that wasn't good enough, Rick proceeded to tell me that he had his children two nights a week and every other weekend...I couldn't possibly be priority one for him because they were priority one! Hmmm...a gold star moment because without a doubt you can't be priority one for me either! I made a promise to two little ones long before I met you, even though they aren't that little now! WOW!! Is this too good to be true? First impression is a pretty darn good one!!
We talked on through the night and after several hours, a bottle of wine shared and many oh wow moments...we have the same thoughts on many things..., we decided we should plan another outing on our own agenda and liking. Sure, sounds GREAT!! I really like this winging it thing! Thanks Michele, you knew what you were doing when you bailed out and left me alone to fend for myself with Rick!! I sure hope your plan b worked out as well as mine did!!:-)
For a few weeks, Rick and I exchanged text messages, emails, phone calls and such. There was a connection there that I hadn't experienced since my walls were raised after heartbreak. I was very vulnerable, but sensing from Rick that he wasn't interested in a long and drawn out ordeal, just out for fun to see where today might lead and if there even is a tomorrow, go from there. The ol' one day at a time philosophy was totally his style and he was teaching me to be the same, even more than what I thought I had grasped before. So, we settled on a night when he wouldn't have his kids and I wouldn't have mine. PERFECT!!
So, where should I meet you?, I asked the day before trying to get all the logistics in order. (Yes, type A planner enters the scene momentarily!!) Oh, can we meet at my place so I can let the dog out? Hmmm...is there a baited fishing line out there? Will I bite or pass it up? Sure, I will bite...why not? Okay, so where do you live? Oh, just about 15 minutes from your office but half way from from mine. I can let the dog out and we can go from there. Okay, sounds great!!
The next morning I had gone in and out of my closet trying to figure out the perfect evening attire. I had come to the conclusion that jeans and a nice blouse with sassy pumps would do the best, Either way of any outfit, I would be covering up with a coat. But, I still wasn't sure exactly what the party plans were for the evening after work, so I decided to call at lunch to see what we were suppose to do and if what I had picked out would work. I didn't get an answer to my phone call at mid day, but instead was sent to voice mail...SH*T now what?? I am in my suit for the day, a change of clothes ready, but still clueless as to the party plans for the night. What if I totally have the wrong outfit picked out!!??!! WTF-where's the fire?:-)
At nearly 3pm I got a text message that said: "TRENCHCOAT". nothing else, just that one little word. WHAT? I don't even own one!! All I have is a short Tommy, black rain coat at home, and a pink long rain coat still hanging in the closet...NO FREAKIN' way am I showing up in that!! Plus, I don't even have time to run home and get it!! What if I get into a car accident along the way? Mom always said have good, clean panties on just in case...but what if you have none? For the record, it was not raining that cold mid-winter day and I had only my winter coat a scarf, suit and those pretty panties with the sassy shoes to pair with my jeans!!
But, he had no idea who he was dealing with...For the first time in a long time, he raised the bar unlike any other, threw a dare card out there on the table and I was so thinking...you have no idea who I am or who you are dealing with!! I can beat that!! So, let's take a walk on the wild side, my friend, ready or not: here I come!:-) As I undressed at the stop sign, I was praying seriously that none of the neighbors would be out because I was about to do something I had never done before, and really didn't want to get arrested tonight, tomorrow or ever for trying something new. But, I was not going to let some guy throw a dare out there that I would bypass as a strike...no! This chic is not striking out...but, yes, striking out to hit a freakin home run!! I showed up at the front door, nearly fifty degrees at most in my scarf, matching pink panties and bra with my sassy shoes...NOTHING ELSE!! Yep, you read right...there's a first time for everything!! Yes, it was quite cold and no, there were no neighbors around!! And, yes, he invited me in...THANK GOD!!
To say he was shocked is I guess an understatement. But, I figured I had nothing to lose. I had made a pretty good first impression, as did he, on that first meeting. Now, let's see what you are really made of!! He raised the flag, I stood at attention and we would go from there!!First impressions count for a lot...you only get 7 seconds in reality, so make it count and make that statement that lasts...even if with no words!!:-)
I am certain that in the past postings, all would think I'm somewhat conservative and wouldn't know FUN if it bit me in the butt, however...I have been somewhat adventuresome since my break of writing and publishing stories. I have nothing to lose, but possibly gaining if I just let my short hair down and experience life as never before. Live, love, laugh as if there's no tomorrow, right? SO, ready or not...here comes the sharing, all truth and nothing but the truth...and laughter!!
I had met this guy Rick from a friend of a friend. We were all suppose to go out for a meet and greet/ dinner one night. My friend is a professional woman who works with Rick in the banking industry and thought we may enjoy meeting one another, then go from there. As previously written, I had been on numerous one dates with set ups from both friends and the professional dating service, even taken some time out to date exclusively, but was open now for new opportunities....why not?
We arrived at the meeting spot only to learn that my friend had decided plan b was a better alternative. (where have I experienced that before-GREAT!!) So, here I sat with Mr.rick for the night, Mr. right now, trying to fill in blanks, left to my own devices. However, I was really impressed by his asking on the first call "what do you know about me?" Seriously, I know NOTHING about you...except for your first name...I don't even know your last name!! What do you know about me? I asked. Same response...WHEW!! We were the blind leading the blind...let's see how much fun we can have with this one?? You tell me what you want me to know and I will do the same!! Clean slate to build on! I like it!!
And, as if that wasn't good enough, Rick proceeded to tell me that he had his children two nights a week and every other weekend...I couldn't possibly be priority one for him because they were priority one! Hmmm...a gold star moment because without a doubt you can't be priority one for me either! I made a promise to two little ones long before I met you, even though they aren't that little now! WOW!! Is this too good to be true? First impression is a pretty darn good one!!
We talked on through the night and after several hours, a bottle of wine shared and many oh wow moments...we have the same thoughts on many things..., we decided we should plan another outing on our own agenda and liking. Sure, sounds GREAT!! I really like this winging it thing! Thanks Michele, you knew what you were doing when you bailed out and left me alone to fend for myself with Rick!! I sure hope your plan b worked out as well as mine did!!:-)
For a few weeks, Rick and I exchanged text messages, emails, phone calls and such. There was a connection there that I hadn't experienced since my walls were raised after heartbreak. I was very vulnerable, but sensing from Rick that he wasn't interested in a long and drawn out ordeal, just out for fun to see where today might lead and if there even is a tomorrow, go from there. The ol' one day at a time philosophy was totally his style and he was teaching me to be the same, even more than what I thought I had grasped before. So, we settled on a night when he wouldn't have his kids and I wouldn't have mine. PERFECT!!
So, where should I meet you?, I asked the day before trying to get all the logistics in order. (Yes, type A planner enters the scene momentarily!!) Oh, can we meet at my place so I can let the dog out? Hmmm...is there a baited fishing line out there? Will I bite or pass it up? Sure, I will bite...why not? Okay, so where do you live? Oh, just about 15 minutes from your office but half way from from mine. I can let the dog out and we can go from there. Okay, sounds great!!
The next morning I had gone in and out of my closet trying to figure out the perfect evening attire. I had come to the conclusion that jeans and a nice blouse with sassy pumps would do the best, Either way of any outfit, I would be covering up with a coat. But, I still wasn't sure exactly what the party plans were for the evening after work, so I decided to call at lunch to see what we were suppose to do and if what I had picked out would work. I didn't get an answer to my phone call at mid day, but instead was sent to voice mail...SH*T now what?? I am in my suit for the day, a change of clothes ready, but still clueless as to the party plans for the night. What if I totally have the wrong outfit picked out!!??!! WTF-where's the fire?:-)
At nearly 3pm I got a text message that said: "TRENCHCOAT". nothing else, just that one little word. WHAT? I don't even own one!! All I have is a short Tommy, black rain coat at home, and a pink long rain coat still hanging in the closet...NO FREAKIN' way am I showing up in that!! Plus, I don't even have time to run home and get it!! What if I get into a car accident along the way? Mom always said have good, clean panties on just in case...but what if you have none? For the record, it was not raining that cold mid-winter day and I had only my winter coat a scarf, suit and those pretty panties with the sassy shoes to pair with my jeans!!
But, he had no idea who he was dealing with...For the first time in a long time, he raised the bar unlike any other, threw a dare card out there on the table and I was so thinking...you have no idea who I am or who you are dealing with!! I can beat that!! So, let's take a walk on the wild side, my friend, ready or not: here I come!:-) As I undressed at the stop sign, I was praying seriously that none of the neighbors would be out because I was about to do something I had never done before, and really didn't want to get arrested tonight, tomorrow or ever for trying something new. But, I was not going to let some guy throw a dare out there that I would bypass as a strike...no! This chic is not striking out...but, yes, striking out to hit a freakin home run!! I showed up at the front door, nearly fifty degrees at most in my scarf, matching pink panties and bra with my sassy shoes...NOTHING ELSE!! Yep, you read right...there's a first time for everything!! Yes, it was quite cold and no, there were no neighbors around!! And, yes, he invited me in...THANK GOD!!
To say he was shocked is I guess an understatement. But, I figured I had nothing to lose. I had made a pretty good first impression, as did he, on that first meeting. Now, let's see what you are really made of!! He raised the flag, I stood at attention and we would go from there!!First impressions count for a lot...you only get 7 seconds in reality, so make it count and make that statement that lasts...even if with no words!!:-)
Update
Okay, so after four months of chasing down publishers, trying to get an e-book going, I decided to "truck all of that" and re-start the blog...that was/ is so much easier!!:-) Afterall, I am a mom, work a real job and do have a life...which I have decided is too good not to share-encouraged of course by some really good friends!!
Yes, I have picked up the dating thing again, deciding to let my short hair down with only one life to live. Yes, I have hit a few bumps along the way like in any journey, but feel it somewhat therapeutic to share...purging of a different level!:-) And, no, the craziness has not ceased, but I have joined in on the fun. I don't do well with drama, life has a way of bringing that on it's own naturally, but have really enjoyed taking a walk on the wild side...if you will.
Truth be told to all those who really care, I dated someone exclusively, the great date number one mentioned previously in postings, for about a good five months. It has since ended many months ago and we are now just friends, mutual respect for one another and a learning experience for sure. A close friend once shared with me to never let something that made you smile, fill your heart with gladness creep toward regret...so true. I am blessed for all that I learned through that process and am so thankful for the experience...yes, lucky me for loving unconditionally as if I had no tomorrow, had never been hurt before, and all that other self motivativing b.s. that comes from picking your broken heart off the ground!!
Thanks for plugging back into my adventures in dating after divorce. As always, I appreciate your sharing and laughing with me...who cares if at me..:-)
I hope you enjoy the postings to come!
OneDateWonderGirl:-)
Yes, I have picked up the dating thing again, deciding to let my short hair down with only one life to live. Yes, I have hit a few bumps along the way like in any journey, but feel it somewhat therapeutic to share...purging of a different level!:-) And, no, the craziness has not ceased, but I have joined in on the fun. I don't do well with drama, life has a way of bringing that on it's own naturally, but have really enjoyed taking a walk on the wild side...if you will.
Truth be told to all those who really care, I dated someone exclusively, the great date number one mentioned previously in postings, for about a good five months. It has since ended many months ago and we are now just friends, mutual respect for one another and a learning experience for sure. A close friend once shared with me to never let something that made you smile, fill your heart with gladness creep toward regret...so true. I am blessed for all that I learned through that process and am so thankful for the experience...yes, lucky me for loving unconditionally as if I had no tomorrow, had never been hurt before, and all that other self motivativing b.s. that comes from picking your broken heart off the ground!!
Thanks for plugging back into my adventures in dating after divorce. As always, I appreciate your sharing and laughing with me...who cares if at me..:-)
I hope you enjoy the postings to come!
OneDateWonderGirl:-)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
back to the book...
After two dozen posts to see what the interest level out there is, I have decided to further the actual book...yeah! Thanks for letting me know by virtue of passing the site around that yes, cheesy girl sh*t of an ordinary girl living an extraordinary life is somewhat of an amusing read. What you have read on the blog site are dates, now it's time to dive into the relationship perspective of dating! No change in the name of the book "The Adventures of OneDate WonderGirl-life post divorce". Wishing you all well and a HUGE THANK YOU!! Feel free to continue sharing the site and the laughs!!:-)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sh*t happens...
I met this guy Russ through a friend of a friend and at the first few moments we hit it off. Over several weeks we met for lunch and had great conversations and laughing, sharing and enjoying just quick outings together. Russ invited me for a weekend golf excursion and I accepted. Truth be told, I was really nervous! I had never stayed the night at a guy’s house in years and had no idea of expectations, but assumed he might be thinking more than maybe what I was. I was excited to play a new golf course and just have some time away from the big house that would be childless that weekend. I had to work on Friday at a special event and would end up driving the hour plus to the cottage. The plan was we would do golf on Saturday morning and go from there.
Friday came and I was extremely busy with work. It was over 100 degrees and entertaining almost 750 people for the special event was tiresome to say the least. I took a break in between to grab some BBQ that was provided complete with good ol’ baked beans and fried chicken! It was a quick grab of potato salad and the fixin’s while I was pulled in many different directions, putting out small fires while having a smiling face and saying multiple thank you’s to all present. To be quite honest, it was somewhat draining emotionally and physically, although rewarding in many ways given my line of work. It only happens once a year so well worth the stresses for the day! By the end of the night, however, I was certainly ready to walk into a relaxing weekend plus a nice warm bath.
On the drive down to the beach cottage, I kept playing scenarios in my head: “how is this going to work?” I know the cottage is a three bedroom, one bathroom older beach cottage and we are the only ones there for the weekend, but who’s going to sleep where? I hadn't really thought of logistics until the drive down. I knew Russ a little, but not enough to honestly stay the night in the same bed with. What was I thinking when I agreed to go down for the night? All I want to do is get a bath, relax for a bit, get up and play a round of golf in the morning! Not so sure I am going to be the best of company and mouse olympics is more than likely out of my party plans, but I will certainly be ready for a good game in the morning. So, I just kept driving…looking forward to maybe a glass of wine, hot bath and a good night’s rest! I could figure the rest out later.
When I arrived at the cottage, Russ met me at the door and explained there were some problems with the family cottage. Evidently there was a plumbing issue and he was trying to fix a leak in the bath tub himself. Okay, so I will not be getting that much desired bath right away, but here’s a chance for you and I to get to know each other more and work on a project together. Good God…that bathroom was torn apart! The fixtures were off the wall, lying on the floor and the toilet was intact, but running at a constant pace, water everywhere even with the valve off! For the first hour or so I was handing tools to Russ while he tried to piece together the mess in front of me and we were both trying not to be impatient with the process. Remember I was dirty, stinky and really only wanting a bath or shower at least- fun meter beginning to rise to red and the tiredness was starting to build! Poor Russ was trying his best to get the plumbing issue resolved, but I decided to bail out before things got ugly. Probably the best deal for both of us. I know how I get when things aren't going my way: a few too many f-bombs dropped, a tendency to have a hammer "fix" it all or even scissors. So I did the big girl thing and ventured to the guest room, passed out, literally exhausted from the day.
At some point in the night I awoke to some rumbling in my stomach. Oh, no! I think I need to “go.” No low numbers here, I think this is going to be a “get up and make your move quick” moment! Russ was no where to be seen or heard, so I tried to quietly race to the bathroom for quick bombing, courtesy flush and loss of at least two pounds. Not so easy, missy! As I entered the bathroom, I realized the toilet was now missing! What? What happened? Where did it go? Oh it was there, in the hallway towards the little kitchen, but not where it was suppose to be. I freaked!! I had an “issue” that needed to be resolved and resolved quickly! So, I did what probably anyone would do…I took a little grocery bag and headed to the great outdoors where lots of opportunities to take care of business were abound! I had no choice! Holy crap, Batman…what am I doing? Quickly too…time is of the essence!
Okay, so I did what had to be done. No waiting, no looking for the appropriate place, just did it. Same as that day of my half marathon between the concrete pilings for crowd control. As a former marathoner, there’s no shame in going when nature calls. I see lots of “opportunities” for taking care of business; forget the “tp” or privacy to a certain degree, just do it! So, into the baggie I go. Tied up just like the doggie treasures from a neighbor’s walk of the dog, I went…behind a bush in the back of the beach cottage under the moonlight. I placed the baggie by the back of my vehicle tire to dispose of properly at the time of departure. No one would know. I wouldn't mention it to Russ at all, he would never know, and I was relieved…even lost probably that two pounds thanks to the BBQ and heat combo!
Back into the guest room I go, no stirring or sound from Russ, thankfully. But, man did I feel like I really could use that shower now! YUCK! When you aren’t feeling your best, the last thing you want to do is be in someplace other than home! Nope, I was at the cottage of a guy I barely knew, an hour plus away from my own bed with no running water in the bathroom and some major stomach issues. I had paid the toll and was worried that now I might be driving for quite a while, if you know what I mean! I tossed and turned all night! I am certain I didn’t get more than three hours sleep--not good for the eight hour a night girl!
Finally morning came and I awoke to what most do: the call of nature. But wait, no water and the toilet was still in the hall. WTF? Russ had been up before daylight trying his best to get it all going. I don’t know what the problem was; that’s not my area of expertise! I can hand a tool and smile while doing it even with bed head; yes I know the difference between Thomas and Phillip, but no clue on what the hell is making this leak. I just know it’s not working right! Fix it and fix it now!! Please!! Nope, major issues! So, I went outside again…yep! To the great wild: birds chirping, sun rising and a sea salt spray in the air…aaaauuuughhh..relief! The only way this could have been any worse than what it was would be the addition of the monthly "crimson tide." Thank you, Lord for at least not that!
Russ tried his best, bless his heart. Golf was not going to happen. There were more pressing issues that had to be taken care of and his family cottage had issues far greater than my own. He brewed coffee and said that at nine o’clock the closest hardware store would open and he could get the parts needed to fix the plumbing. Unfortunately at this point I was just trying to deal with my own issues and decided it was time for me to leave. I politely said that I would be glad to take the trash out, knowing full well I would be adding my own little baggie, and call it a day Time for me to go to my own home, shower and catch up later or another day. I gathered my things and headed out on the drive back home. I never heard from Russ again. Oh well...sh*t happens!
Friday came and I was extremely busy with work. It was over 100 degrees and entertaining almost 750 people for the special event was tiresome to say the least. I took a break in between to grab some BBQ that was provided complete with good ol’ baked beans and fried chicken! It was a quick grab of potato salad and the fixin’s while I was pulled in many different directions, putting out small fires while having a smiling face and saying multiple thank you’s to all present. To be quite honest, it was somewhat draining emotionally and physically, although rewarding in many ways given my line of work. It only happens once a year so well worth the stresses for the day! By the end of the night, however, I was certainly ready to walk into a relaxing weekend plus a nice warm bath.
On the drive down to the beach cottage, I kept playing scenarios in my head: “how is this going to work?” I know the cottage is a three bedroom, one bathroom older beach cottage and we are the only ones there for the weekend, but who’s going to sleep where? I hadn't really thought of logistics until the drive down. I knew Russ a little, but not enough to honestly stay the night in the same bed with. What was I thinking when I agreed to go down for the night? All I want to do is get a bath, relax for a bit, get up and play a round of golf in the morning! Not so sure I am going to be the best of company and mouse olympics is more than likely out of my party plans, but I will certainly be ready for a good game in the morning. So, I just kept driving…looking forward to maybe a glass of wine, hot bath and a good night’s rest! I could figure the rest out later.
When I arrived at the cottage, Russ met me at the door and explained there were some problems with the family cottage. Evidently there was a plumbing issue and he was trying to fix a leak in the bath tub himself. Okay, so I will not be getting that much desired bath right away, but here’s a chance for you and I to get to know each other more and work on a project together. Good God…that bathroom was torn apart! The fixtures were off the wall, lying on the floor and the toilet was intact, but running at a constant pace, water everywhere even with the valve off! For the first hour or so I was handing tools to Russ while he tried to piece together the mess in front of me and we were both trying not to be impatient with the process. Remember I was dirty, stinky and really only wanting a bath or shower at least- fun meter beginning to rise to red and the tiredness was starting to build! Poor Russ was trying his best to get the plumbing issue resolved, but I decided to bail out before things got ugly. Probably the best deal for both of us. I know how I get when things aren't going my way: a few too many f-bombs dropped, a tendency to have a hammer "fix" it all or even scissors. So I did the big girl thing and ventured to the guest room, passed out, literally exhausted from the day.
At some point in the night I awoke to some rumbling in my stomach. Oh, no! I think I need to “go.” No low numbers here, I think this is going to be a “get up and make your move quick” moment! Russ was no where to be seen or heard, so I tried to quietly race to the bathroom for quick bombing, courtesy flush and loss of at least two pounds. Not so easy, missy! As I entered the bathroom, I realized the toilet was now missing! What? What happened? Where did it go? Oh it was there, in the hallway towards the little kitchen, but not where it was suppose to be. I freaked!! I had an “issue” that needed to be resolved and resolved quickly! So, I did what probably anyone would do…I took a little grocery bag and headed to the great outdoors where lots of opportunities to take care of business were abound! I had no choice! Holy crap, Batman…what am I doing? Quickly too…time is of the essence!
Okay, so I did what had to be done. No waiting, no looking for the appropriate place, just did it. Same as that day of my half marathon between the concrete pilings for crowd control. As a former marathoner, there’s no shame in going when nature calls. I see lots of “opportunities” for taking care of business; forget the “tp” or privacy to a certain degree, just do it! So, into the baggie I go. Tied up just like the doggie treasures from a neighbor’s walk of the dog, I went…behind a bush in the back of the beach cottage under the moonlight. I placed the baggie by the back of my vehicle tire to dispose of properly at the time of departure. No one would know. I wouldn't mention it to Russ at all, he would never know, and I was relieved…even lost probably that two pounds thanks to the BBQ and heat combo!
Back into the guest room I go, no stirring or sound from Russ, thankfully. But, man did I feel like I really could use that shower now! YUCK! When you aren’t feeling your best, the last thing you want to do is be in someplace other than home! Nope, I was at the cottage of a guy I barely knew, an hour plus away from my own bed with no running water in the bathroom and some major stomach issues. I had paid the toll and was worried that now I might be driving for quite a while, if you know what I mean! I tossed and turned all night! I am certain I didn’t get more than three hours sleep--not good for the eight hour a night girl!
Finally morning came and I awoke to what most do: the call of nature. But wait, no water and the toilet was still in the hall. WTF? Russ had been up before daylight trying his best to get it all going. I don’t know what the problem was; that’s not my area of expertise! I can hand a tool and smile while doing it even with bed head; yes I know the difference between Thomas and Phillip, but no clue on what the hell is making this leak. I just know it’s not working right! Fix it and fix it now!! Please!! Nope, major issues! So, I went outside again…yep! To the great wild: birds chirping, sun rising and a sea salt spray in the air…aaaauuuughhh..relief! The only way this could have been any worse than what it was would be the addition of the monthly "crimson tide." Thank you, Lord for at least not that!
Russ tried his best, bless his heart. Golf was not going to happen. There were more pressing issues that had to be taken care of and his family cottage had issues far greater than my own. He brewed coffee and said that at nine o’clock the closest hardware store would open and he could get the parts needed to fix the plumbing. Unfortunately at this point I was just trying to deal with my own issues and decided it was time for me to leave. I politely said that I would be glad to take the trash out, knowing full well I would be adding my own little baggie, and call it a day Time for me to go to my own home, shower and catch up later or another day. I gathered my things and headed out on the drive back home. I never heard from Russ again. Oh well...sh*t happens!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Live and learn...what not to do!!
As a newly divorced mom, I tried to engage in all sorts of activities with my kids to venture out into our great community and even keep a few tickets of local events aside for date potentials: hockey, baseball, opera, etc. As fate would have it, I met someone and decided to try a nice date night out…my treat at the opera. The party plans consisted of a nice appetizer and drinks prior to opera, followed by whatever the night would bring.
Taking two cars didn’t make sense, so just pick me up at my home and we would go from there to the restaurant and opera. I didn’t have the kids that weekend, so I felt comfortable with Rick picking me up at the house. I felt like Cinderella coming down the stairs-- all dressed in beautiful evening wear, hair and make up done elegantly but not too much-- as the doorbell rang. Believe it or not, all girls love to get dressed up for a nice night out; I am no exception! When I opened the door, I was standing in front of one of the most handsome men on the planet! WOW!! He looked amazing!! I invited him in for a quick hello to grab my coat and purse. We were out the door in fifteen minutes tops, heading towards a nice cultural night out on the town.
The drive into the city was comfortable and filled with easy conversation. I was quite interested in learning more of Rick and his interests, hobbies, life, etc. and the drive was an opportunity to do just that. Rick was an engineering professional and described his work as multi-disciplinary, with many players adding to projects for success and completion. Much of it, honestly, I didn’t understand but was intrigued by a world I knew very little about. His explaining of it all was on a level I could understand somewhat, but more involved in details than I could comprehend. The nice thing about the drive was our sharing and despite the foreign language of engineering I was learning, he didn’t talk louder and slower! Conversely, it had been years since I had seen an Italian opera and I was looking forward to testing my language skills after many years of my proficiency in that foreign language.
We arrived at the small restaurant for appetizers and sat at a little table across from the bar. We ordered a glass of wine and appetizer to share. No, I didn’t feed him and he didn’t feed me! (Learning there are rules with that too!!) After our short time there, the opera was about to begin and we would need to make our way to our ticketed seats. Off in the car we go again to start the cultural experience. Once at the opera house, we checked our coats and mingled with a few others. By far we were some of the youngest in attendance for this evening. Hmm….okay, so I paid for season tickets and now I am going to be hanging with the geriatric crowd for the winter! What was I thinking? And a date night…uugh, he must think I am absolutely crazy!! I confess, although not catholic as mentioned MANY times before, some of my ideas are not the greatest! We took our front row, balcony seats and got cozy for the show.
As the opera began, I was catching bits and pieces of the translations realizing thankfully there is a translation slide ongoing. Rick did not speak a word of Italian and if it were not for the translations on screen, he would have been totally lost! The viewing of the opera was incredible, however, and we were close enough to enjoy the show, up close and personal! It was nothing like my college days where I was in the “rounded in Rome” theatre. I was seated next to a guy that couldn’t wait to get out of there and I was enjoying the show, but couldn’t wait to escape either! So not what a great date should be like! At intermission we both agreed on a glass of wine and questioned if maybe two would not only do the trick to get us through the night, but make it more enjoyable. I am certain Rick was getting a headache from reading the translations and I was by far trying hard to fight one off by translating in my head!
Finally the opera was over and applause was granted by the audience. The lights were dim and attendees began stirring. Rick recognized that many moving about could barely navigate the area under the lighting situation and he began ushering those to a safe route. Wow- that’s impressive! Yes, I stood awaiting our exit opportunity as he assisted in those making their way to the hall and stairway. Despite what you may think, I was thinking his parents raised a true gentleman and if I could thank them at this moment I would! He did the right thing at the right time, helping others for safety and being absolutely considerate, putting his desires aside. Lucky me to have a night out with him enduring this and yet rising to the occasion!! I’m sure if he was thinking like me…let’s blow this popsicle stand!....we would have been out of there faster than greased lightening. But, we were there patiently awaiting our turn to exit safely after our more senior friends.
After the whole opera experience, we decided to head back towards my home and our farewells. Not that exciting on an end of the date, as Rick politely escorted me to my door and declined an invitation to come in. It was an interesting night out that I decided never to repeat again. I came to the conclusion that although I tried to relieve some of the pressure of making a plan for a date, this one was a “what not to do” ever again. It might be reserved for an occasional special night few and far between with many years in between, but certainly not the thing to do while getting to know someone. So yes, I made a mistake yet again in the dating realm and admit it. Poor Rick and I never ventured again...I confess my annual tickets were not renewed either. Live and learn!
Taking two cars didn’t make sense, so just pick me up at my home and we would go from there to the restaurant and opera. I didn’t have the kids that weekend, so I felt comfortable with Rick picking me up at the house. I felt like Cinderella coming down the stairs-- all dressed in beautiful evening wear, hair and make up done elegantly but not too much-- as the doorbell rang. Believe it or not, all girls love to get dressed up for a nice night out; I am no exception! When I opened the door, I was standing in front of one of the most handsome men on the planet! WOW!! He looked amazing!! I invited him in for a quick hello to grab my coat and purse. We were out the door in fifteen minutes tops, heading towards a nice cultural night out on the town.
The drive into the city was comfortable and filled with easy conversation. I was quite interested in learning more of Rick and his interests, hobbies, life, etc. and the drive was an opportunity to do just that. Rick was an engineering professional and described his work as multi-disciplinary, with many players adding to projects for success and completion. Much of it, honestly, I didn’t understand but was intrigued by a world I knew very little about. His explaining of it all was on a level I could understand somewhat, but more involved in details than I could comprehend. The nice thing about the drive was our sharing and despite the foreign language of engineering I was learning, he didn’t talk louder and slower! Conversely, it had been years since I had seen an Italian opera and I was looking forward to testing my language skills after many years of my proficiency in that foreign language.
We arrived at the small restaurant for appetizers and sat at a little table across from the bar. We ordered a glass of wine and appetizer to share. No, I didn’t feed him and he didn’t feed me! (Learning there are rules with that too!!) After our short time there, the opera was about to begin and we would need to make our way to our ticketed seats. Off in the car we go again to start the cultural experience. Once at the opera house, we checked our coats and mingled with a few others. By far we were some of the youngest in attendance for this evening. Hmm….okay, so I paid for season tickets and now I am going to be hanging with the geriatric crowd for the winter! What was I thinking? And a date night…uugh, he must think I am absolutely crazy!! I confess, although not catholic as mentioned MANY times before, some of my ideas are not the greatest! We took our front row, balcony seats and got cozy for the show.
As the opera began, I was catching bits and pieces of the translations realizing thankfully there is a translation slide ongoing. Rick did not speak a word of Italian and if it were not for the translations on screen, he would have been totally lost! The viewing of the opera was incredible, however, and we were close enough to enjoy the show, up close and personal! It was nothing like my college days where I was in the “rounded in Rome” theatre. I was seated next to a guy that couldn’t wait to get out of there and I was enjoying the show, but couldn’t wait to escape either! So not what a great date should be like! At intermission we both agreed on a glass of wine and questioned if maybe two would not only do the trick to get us through the night, but make it more enjoyable. I am certain Rick was getting a headache from reading the translations and I was by far trying hard to fight one off by translating in my head!
Finally the opera was over and applause was granted by the audience. The lights were dim and attendees began stirring. Rick recognized that many moving about could barely navigate the area under the lighting situation and he began ushering those to a safe route. Wow- that’s impressive! Yes, I stood awaiting our exit opportunity as he assisted in those making their way to the hall and stairway. Despite what you may think, I was thinking his parents raised a true gentleman and if I could thank them at this moment I would! He did the right thing at the right time, helping others for safety and being absolutely considerate, putting his desires aside. Lucky me to have a night out with him enduring this and yet rising to the occasion!! I’m sure if he was thinking like me…let’s blow this popsicle stand!....we would have been out of there faster than greased lightening. But, we were there patiently awaiting our turn to exit safely after our more senior friends.
After the whole opera experience, we decided to head back towards my home and our farewells. Not that exciting on an end of the date, as Rick politely escorted me to my door and declined an invitation to come in. It was an interesting night out that I decided never to repeat again. I came to the conclusion that although I tried to relieve some of the pressure of making a plan for a date, this one was a “what not to do” ever again. It might be reserved for an occasional special night few and far between with many years in between, but certainly not the thing to do while getting to know someone. So yes, I made a mistake yet again in the dating realm and admit it. Poor Rick and I never ventured again...I confess my annual tickets were not renewed either. Live and learn!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Focus...please!
On line dating is a whole new world and experience I never thought I would be into let alone even try. Having mentioned in a previous posting I had put my profile out there in cyberspace and was like fresh meat hanging in the market, gaining a second job without pay; I had filtered through my share of interested parties over the trial period with no success...unlike a few of my friends. One guy and I exchanged numbers after a few back and forth online notes. Finally we agreed to meet at a coffee shop not too far from my office. I was looking forward to meeting him face to face and seeing if there was any sort of chemistry.
Rob said he would be wearing jeans and a white shirt so I would know who he was. Coming from work mid afternoon, I would be in a suit. As I headed into the bookstore/ coffee shop I saw this guy standing on the outside with a white shirt and jeans smoking. Oh, please do not let that be him! I’m not at all interested in getting to know someone who has a habit like that because I have no desire to kiss an ashtray today or tomorrow! Should I turn around and go back to my car? No. I said would be here and I am, so just go in. I walked around the shop looking for an exit route just in case then headed to the coffee area.
As I looked around I saw another guy resembling the on line photo of Rob somewhat. Yes, white shirt and jeans on…that must be him. He stood up and introduced himself as I ordered my coffee. Thank goodness it’s not the smoking guy! But, there’s something different about him. We started to talk and I asked about the photos posted, remarking that he seems is a bit older and thinner than what those photos showed. Oh, yeah…the one with the boy at the beach was taken a few years back. Not the eight year old anymore, the kid is in college! What? You must be joking! You posted a ten year old photo thinking you still look the same? My photos are from the last two years and I don’t look that different. I haven’t taken to bon-bons and twinkies! You, Rob, however look not only older but much thinner!
And, what’s with your lack of eye contact? Can’t you look at me? Your eyes are wandering uncontrollably. Focus, please. Look me in the eyes when you are talking to me! What's dishonest here? For the record, it wasn’t the normal eye wandering while checking out the scenery, but an unnatural blinking and focusing disorder. This is weird! I am trying to have a conversation with you, but it appears as if you are out somewhere in left field and unable to look me in the eyes while talking. Is it a nervous disorder or is it something else? Whatever the case is, focus…you on me, me on you. Nope, not happening!
Okay, try to move beyond that one missy and get to know him. No chemistry feelings here but maybe those intriguing chats on line meant something and it was perhaps an opportunity for a new friend. Not sure. Rob began to explain that he had been on several dates and hadn’t really met anyone who was what they appeared to be from their posted profile. Really? And, you think you do? I don’t think so. So far you have represented yourself to be ten years younger than reality by photos. What else is inaccurate? As I was trying to think about this one, Rob said he needed to use the restroom and would be back in a few. No problem, I’ll just have my coffee and wait. No big deal, nature calls us all.
Rob got up and ran off to the restroom, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. I sat enjoying my coffee as the minutes passed contemplating the date. Well, five minutes turned into twenty! No, not kidding nor exaggerating! I knew he was coming back at some point because he left his jacket. I sat waiting patiently, but realized I probably should have made it easier on him and just walked out. I was obviously not what he was looking for and should have saved him the embarassment or confrontation and just left; better yet, save yourself!! But, I didn’t…I waited for the humiliation and blow face to face. When he finally returned, he was whiter than a ghost and tried to explain he had some stomach issues and didn’t feel well. Oh, gross! I shook his hand and now I probably have cooties! Too late for "circle-circle-dot-dot!" Not only was he not what he appeared to be or represented himself to be, he was sick!
Rob began to explain he had been diagnosed with a serious health condition and now finds himself without a wife, kids gone off to college and alone. Apparently she left him when he got sick. (There’s a special place for people like her, but I won’t go there!) He began to explain some of the side effects of his treatment being both the eye and stomach condition and more. Now I was feeling bad for judging previously and selfishly nit-picking on something he had no control over. My job requires me to assist in quality of life issues for those sick and here I have met someone for a different purpose than what I thought. Going back to mom and dad sharing that sometimes we meet people to give, receive or just enjoy, but it is true we meet all for a purpose. Thanks mom and dad! (Oh, here's the silver lining thing or maybe making lemonade from lemons again!)
Shifting gears now to work mode, I began listening with a different reason. My attention went from my own desires to have him focus on me, but now I needed to focus on him for real. So the next thirty minutes or so of the so called date turned into work and that was it. Not too exciting on the personal front, but there for a greater sharing. I don’t believe in coincidences, the fickle finger of fate but do believe in the hand of God. Never saw him after that coffee date nor heard another word from him. I’m sure he was embarrassed somewhat, but although trying to live a normal life after diagnosis of a serious health issue, I was a little too close to it all and not dating material. He wasn’t a fit for me either, as I am a caretaker and giver to two children and certainly not willing at this point to take on a serious condition of someone I just met and have no real chemistry with. I guess there’s something to be said for the old pheromone phenomenon: it’s either there or it’s not. In this case, it was not there, but not a total loss. Perhaps the sharing was for a greater purpose...
Rob said he would be wearing jeans and a white shirt so I would know who he was. Coming from work mid afternoon, I would be in a suit. As I headed into the bookstore/ coffee shop I saw this guy standing on the outside with a white shirt and jeans smoking. Oh, please do not let that be him! I’m not at all interested in getting to know someone who has a habit like that because I have no desire to kiss an ashtray today or tomorrow! Should I turn around and go back to my car? No. I said would be here and I am, so just go in. I walked around the shop looking for an exit route just in case then headed to the coffee area.
As I looked around I saw another guy resembling the on line photo of Rob somewhat. Yes, white shirt and jeans on…that must be him. He stood up and introduced himself as I ordered my coffee. Thank goodness it’s not the smoking guy! But, there’s something different about him. We started to talk and I asked about the photos posted, remarking that he seems is a bit older and thinner than what those photos showed. Oh, yeah…the one with the boy at the beach was taken a few years back. Not the eight year old anymore, the kid is in college! What? You must be joking! You posted a ten year old photo thinking you still look the same? My photos are from the last two years and I don’t look that different. I haven’t taken to bon-bons and twinkies! You, Rob, however look not only older but much thinner!
And, what’s with your lack of eye contact? Can’t you look at me? Your eyes are wandering uncontrollably. Focus, please. Look me in the eyes when you are talking to me! What's dishonest here? For the record, it wasn’t the normal eye wandering while checking out the scenery, but an unnatural blinking and focusing disorder. This is weird! I am trying to have a conversation with you, but it appears as if you are out somewhere in left field and unable to look me in the eyes while talking. Is it a nervous disorder or is it something else? Whatever the case is, focus…you on me, me on you. Nope, not happening!
Okay, try to move beyond that one missy and get to know him. No chemistry feelings here but maybe those intriguing chats on line meant something and it was perhaps an opportunity for a new friend. Not sure. Rob began to explain that he had been on several dates and hadn’t really met anyone who was what they appeared to be from their posted profile. Really? And, you think you do? I don’t think so. So far you have represented yourself to be ten years younger than reality by photos. What else is inaccurate? As I was trying to think about this one, Rob said he needed to use the restroom and would be back in a few. No problem, I’ll just have my coffee and wait. No big deal, nature calls us all.
Rob got up and ran off to the restroom, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. I sat enjoying my coffee as the minutes passed contemplating the date. Well, five minutes turned into twenty! No, not kidding nor exaggerating! I knew he was coming back at some point because he left his jacket. I sat waiting patiently, but realized I probably should have made it easier on him and just walked out. I was obviously not what he was looking for and should have saved him the embarassment or confrontation and just left; better yet, save yourself!! But, I didn’t…I waited for the humiliation and blow face to face. When he finally returned, he was whiter than a ghost and tried to explain he had some stomach issues and didn’t feel well. Oh, gross! I shook his hand and now I probably have cooties! Too late for "circle-circle-dot-dot!" Not only was he not what he appeared to be or represented himself to be, he was sick!
Rob began to explain he had been diagnosed with a serious health condition and now finds himself without a wife, kids gone off to college and alone. Apparently she left him when he got sick. (There’s a special place for people like her, but I won’t go there!) He began to explain some of the side effects of his treatment being both the eye and stomach condition and more. Now I was feeling bad for judging previously and selfishly nit-picking on something he had no control over. My job requires me to assist in quality of life issues for those sick and here I have met someone for a different purpose than what I thought. Going back to mom and dad sharing that sometimes we meet people to give, receive or just enjoy, but it is true we meet all for a purpose. Thanks mom and dad! (Oh, here's the silver lining thing or maybe making lemonade from lemons again!)
Shifting gears now to work mode, I began listening with a different reason. My attention went from my own desires to have him focus on me, but now I needed to focus on him for real. So the next thirty minutes or so of the so called date turned into work and that was it. Not too exciting on the personal front, but there for a greater sharing. I don’t believe in coincidences, the fickle finger of fate but do believe in the hand of God. Never saw him after that coffee date nor heard another word from him. I’m sure he was embarrassed somewhat, but although trying to live a normal life after diagnosis of a serious health issue, I was a little too close to it all and not dating material. He wasn’t a fit for me either, as I am a caretaker and giver to two children and certainly not willing at this point to take on a serious condition of someone I just met and have no real chemistry with. I guess there’s something to be said for the old pheromone phenomenon: it’s either there or it’s not. In this case, it was not there, but not a total loss. Perhaps the sharing was for a greater purpose...
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