Let's Get Ready to Rumble...

God only knows how many dates I had been on thus far, but was willing to keep putting myself out there. I mean, I'm a realist and recognize that you can't have it all: you can't be young, rich, smart, beautiful and talented at golf!! I think I have a lot going for me, however: I’m smart..sort of, pretty-not first thing in the morning, funny-yep...got that!, fun-location insignificant..and don’t really need a lot or ask a lot. Surely somewhere out there is a guy that would not only appreciate my company, but would love it! So when the girls called one day to ask if I could meet Greg for an after work drink, I said, “sure, why not?” Greg was a divorced father of one, ten years older than I and lived in the area, but traveled quite a bit for work. Didn’t really get much into his hobbies other than travel and thought it might be a fit. By this time, I was kind of getting my fill of the one date wonders, But, you can't get two if you don't start with one. I agreed to meet Greg at my new comfortable grounds downtown for an after work drink and take it from there.

Sometimes traffic can be a nightmare, so I left the office an hour prior to my meeting time. Wouldn’t you know it that on this day, traffic was a “non-issue” and I made it barely twenty minutes tops. So arriving early and not sure what to do with my extra time, I planted myself at the bar and ordered a glass of wine to relax from the day. There were many travelers there on business watching a game, but I nestled myself into a corner spot and took a glass of water to place at the bar chair for my date to be while the friendly bartender got a glass of wine for me. After about fifteen minutes or so I decided to make a phone call outside to a friend where the two of us girls could chit chat prior to my date. Wonder how this one will go? No clue, just text me in an hour in case I need to be rescued. Agreed!

After our call, I checked in with the server and she told me that my date had already arrived. Oops! Gotta get that glass from the bar, missy. I must look like a lush! Once at the table carrying my half glass of wine from the bar, Greg politely introduced himself and I sat. No, he didn’t get up to pull my chair but instead, he just waited for me to sit down. So I did. He had a little cheat sheet of notes on my details from the dating service and started going down the list, pulled from his jacket pocket. Wait one second, am I on an interview here? Well, I guess I am in a round about way. To say it was strange in the first five minutes was an understatement. Yes, it’s me. I’m really 38 with brown hair and blue eyes, weighing in at about 135. Yes, I work full time, have two kids and enjoy golf, tennis, travel, boating and am actively involved in my community.

Oh…thirty-eight. That brings me to this question, Greg calmly asks: “What do you call a girl your age who goes after younger men?” Well, you and I both know what they’re called: Cougars. (I have since been told that the “cougar” tag is really for those forty and older-what do I know?) As he continued, “so what do you call a girl your age who goes after older men?” Clueless, I’m trying to think: “what is this guy talking about?” Without skipping a beat, he says they are called “Gold diggers.” Well, insult number one had been thrown out into the ring and my pretty pink gloves were coming on! “LET”S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!” I politely said that he had just thrown insult number one out there and he was teetering on being rude. But, that didn’t stop him. He said, “Oh, I’m sorry. What I meant to say was that you must be looking for a “sugardaddy.” DING!! DING!! Punch number two had been thrown in Round One and I ducked, but was coming back with my own left hook! Did I forget to tell you that my x husband of 17 years is ten years older than I? No need to explain, it was useless; this guy wasn’t worth explanations! Piece of f’n sh*t…now I feel like the girl with Tourret’s Syndrome, donning beautiful pink gloves!

Can you believe it! Not even fifteen minutes into the date and I had been insulted not once but twice. Okay, let’s go back for just a few on the dating service that so kindly introduced us. Who do you think paid for this? Was that part of my divorce agreement? I’m sure it didn’t read in there somewhere: “I don’t like you, don’t love you or even want you, but I want you to be happy, so here’s X amount of $$ for you to go find someone else.” No, I paid for it myself! I don’t need your money or anyone else’s jackass! I’m pretty good on my own. Who do you think you are? Notice, patience is a virtue but meter pegged on this one pretty darn quick! As for the “gold digger” inquiry: do you have gold worth digging? I highly doubt it! Most people I know who have it, don’t need to talk about it in the first fifteen minutes! It’s obvious and goes without saying!

I assured Greg quite prophetically that he was on Strike 2, Round Two and the bell had been rung. I was about to be a walk out when he started talking politics, trying to make an awkward moment better. Well, that’s another deep subject with me that you just don’t jump into on a first date without some skirting. Where did this guy learn his dating skills from-a cracker jack box? Greg described his allegiance to his country, despite who is in office. Somewhat admirable, I admit, but that just tells me he’s not strongly convicted on either side of some serious issues. We just entered Round Three and there was a knock out in store and I don’t think I’m the one going down this time! He continued to bash former presidents and some positions, but really flip-flopped on some key issues that I consider important. You opened the can, if you know what I mean, now ready or not, here it comes! It was hardly the intellectual conversation I had imagined. I’m so convicted in my beliefs and support of those I feel beliefs coincide with mine that I actually rode my bike one day to greet a former President and First Lady while visiting my town. American flag in hand and in my gym clothes, I rode my bike to show my support…and not when I was twelve either, I was in my early thirties! To say he was not impressed or cared is an understatement. His conviction was based on who could or would financially support his initiatives. He was willing to be persuaded either way by the almighty dollar. Grow a backbone buddy and stand up for what you believe in!

As the one hour was approaching rather slowly, I knew without a doubt I was wasting my time. Greg was in no way shape or form anything remotely what I was interested in. Although he tried to regroup after the whole age thing, then politics and moved into Round Four…finally sharing his last six months of travel and how he would love to share some of those trips with someone like me. Someone like me? What the heck is that? Am I your arm candy to show off? Get a grip, buddy! I want someone I can be proud of too! I was honest and assured him up front and right there at that moment I was in serious doubt our first meeting would amount to a second. Dumbfounded, he asked if it was because of the politics. No, actually the politics was the icing on the cake. I’m a bit nicer than Mike Tyson and won’t take off your ear; I might pull at it for a bit, but I’m not buying the stuff you’re selling!

Uugghh! Remembering this is nauseating enough! But, it was real and a one date I am glad I walked out on. I had to share it because it is real and just another one of those incredulous moments in the dating ventures. As I awaited valet, he offered to wait with. I insisted I would be just fine without him, in more ways that just the one. Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to be seen anywhere near you…not today, tomorrow or ever! Ding! Ding! Match over! Neither win or lose, it’s an experience and one taken as just that!

As we move into a New Year...may it be a great one for you...a perfect 10 in 2010~:-) Thanks for passing along the site, making 09 incredible for me; lemonade from lemons. I am truly blessed!