God only knows how many dates I had been on thus far, but was willing to keep putting myself out there. I mean, I'm a realist and recognize that you can't have it all: you can't be young, rich, smart, beautiful and talented at golf!! I think I have a lot going for me, however: I’m smart..sort of, pretty-not first thing in the morning, funny-yep...got that!, fun-location insignificant..and don’t really need a lot or ask a lot. Surely somewhere out there is a guy that would not only appreciate my company, but would love it! So when the girls called one day to ask if I could meet Greg for an after work drink, I said, “sure, why not?” Greg was a divorced father of one, ten years older than I and lived in the area, but traveled quite a bit for work. Didn’t really get much into his hobbies other than travel and thought it might be a fit. By this time, I was kind of getting my fill of the one date wonders, But, you can't get two if you don't start with one. I agreed to meet Greg at my new comfortable grounds downtown for an after work drink and take it from there.
Sometimes traffic can be a nightmare, so I left the office an hour prior to my meeting time. Wouldn’t you know it that on this day, traffic was a “non-issue” and I made it barely twenty minutes tops. So arriving early and not sure what to do with my extra time, I planted myself at the bar and ordered a glass of wine to relax from the day. There were many travelers there on business watching a game, but I nestled myself into a corner spot and took a glass of water to place at the bar chair for my date to be while the friendly bartender got a glass of wine for me. After about fifteen minutes or so I decided to make a phone call outside to a friend where the two of us girls could chit chat prior to my date. Wonder how this one will go? No clue, just text me in an hour in case I need to be rescued. Agreed!
After our call, I checked in with the server and she told me that my date had already arrived. Oops! Gotta get that glass from the bar, missy. I must look like a lush! Once at the table carrying my half glass of wine from the bar, Greg politely introduced himself and I sat. No, he didn’t get up to pull my chair but instead, he just waited for me to sit down. So I did. He had a little cheat sheet of notes on my details from the dating service and started going down the list, pulled from his jacket pocket. Wait one second, am I on an interview here? Well, I guess I am in a round about way. To say it was strange in the first five minutes was an understatement. Yes, it’s me. I’m really 38 with brown hair and blue eyes, weighing in at about 135. Yes, I work full time, have two kids and enjoy golf, tennis, travel, boating and am actively involved in my community.
Oh…thirty-eight. That brings me to this question, Greg calmly asks: “What do you call a girl your age who goes after younger men?” Well, you and I both know what they’re called: Cougars. (I have since been told that the “cougar” tag is really for those forty and older-what do I know?) As he continued, “so what do you call a girl your age who goes after older men?” Clueless, I’m trying to think: “what is this guy talking about?” Without skipping a beat, he says they are called “Gold diggers.” Well, insult number one had been thrown out into the ring and my pretty pink gloves were coming on! “LET”S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!” I politely said that he had just thrown insult number one out there and he was teetering on being rude. But, that didn’t stop him. He said, “Oh, I’m sorry. What I meant to say was that you must be looking for a “sugardaddy.” DING!! DING!! Punch number two had been thrown in Round One and I ducked, but was coming back with my own left hook! Did I forget to tell you that my x husband of 17 years is ten years older than I? No need to explain, it was useless; this guy wasn’t worth explanations! Piece of f’n sh*t…now I feel like the girl with Tourret’s Syndrome, donning beautiful pink gloves!
Can you believe it! Not even fifteen minutes into the date and I had been insulted not once but twice. Okay, let’s go back for just a few on the dating service that so kindly introduced us. Who do you think paid for this? Was that part of my divorce agreement? I’m sure it didn’t read in there somewhere: “I don’t like you, don’t love you or even want you, but I want you to be happy, so here’s X amount of $$ for you to go find someone else.” No, I paid for it myself! I don’t need your money or anyone else’s jackass! I’m pretty good on my own. Who do you think you are? Notice, patience is a virtue but meter pegged on this one pretty darn quick! As for the “gold digger” inquiry: do you have gold worth digging? I highly doubt it! Most people I know who have it, don’t need to talk about it in the first fifteen minutes! It’s obvious and goes without saying!
I assured Greg quite prophetically that he was on Strike 2, Round Two and the bell had been rung. I was about to be a walk out when he started talking politics, trying to make an awkward moment better. Well, that’s another deep subject with me that you just don’t jump into on a first date without some skirting. Where did this guy learn his dating skills from-a cracker jack box? Greg described his allegiance to his country, despite who is in office. Somewhat admirable, I admit, but that just tells me he’s not strongly convicted on either side of some serious issues. We just entered Round Three and there was a knock out in store and I don’t think I’m the one going down this time! He continued to bash former presidents and some positions, but really flip-flopped on some key issues that I consider important. You opened the can, if you know what I mean, now ready or not, here it comes! It was hardly the intellectual conversation I had imagined. I’m so convicted in my beliefs and support of those I feel beliefs coincide with mine that I actually rode my bike one day to greet a former President and First Lady while visiting my town. American flag in hand and in my gym clothes, I rode my bike to show my support…and not when I was twelve either, I was in my early thirties! To say he was not impressed or cared is an understatement. His conviction was based on who could or would financially support his initiatives. He was willing to be persuaded either way by the almighty dollar. Grow a backbone buddy and stand up for what you believe in!
As the one hour was approaching rather slowly, I knew without a doubt I was wasting my time. Greg was in no way shape or form anything remotely what I was interested in. Although he tried to regroup after the whole age thing, then politics and moved into Round Four…finally sharing his last six months of travel and how he would love to share some of those trips with someone like me. Someone like me? What the heck is that? Am I your arm candy to show off? Get a grip, buddy! I want someone I can be proud of too! I was honest and assured him up front and right there at that moment I was in serious doubt our first meeting would amount to a second. Dumbfounded, he asked if it was because of the politics. No, actually the politics was the icing on the cake. I’m a bit nicer than Mike Tyson and won’t take off your ear; I might pull at it for a bit, but I’m not buying the stuff you’re selling!
Uugghh! Remembering this is nauseating enough! But, it was real and a one date I am glad I walked out on. I had to share it because it is real and just another one of those incredulous moments in the dating ventures. As I awaited valet, he offered to wait with. I insisted I would be just fine without him, in more ways that just the one. Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to be seen anywhere near you…not today, tomorrow or ever! Ding! Ding! Match over! Neither win or lose, it’s an experience and one taken as just that!
As we move into a New Year...may it be a great one for you...a perfect 10 in 2010~:-) Thanks for passing along the site, making 09 incredible for me; lemonade from lemons. I am truly blessed!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
a three hour tour...
So I met this guy George through a friend at a summer party and cook out. He seemed genuinely nice, educated, somewhat attractive and had his stuff together from what I could gather in the short time we talked. He owned a boat and enjoyed going out for little fishing trips, playing golf and enjoying life outside of the financial world of consulting for his day job. We talked throughout the afternoon and into the night and decided to exchange numbers. I had no intention of calling him, but if he called me I would answer and take it from there. He was a bit older than I by a good fifteen years, so we were in two completely different places in our lives. His two daughters were in college, my two kids still at home. But, he seemed nice enough and would be a potential friend at the least.
George phoned one day asking if I would like to take a boating trip and maybe go fishing. Sure! I love the water, have a respect and admiration for the ocean and would love to enjoy a beautiful day fishing! Why not? We planned to meet on a Saturday morning, early at a launch site somewhat close to where we would set our plan for fishing close to the where some good catches might be. I packed my day bag of sunscreen, towels and even a healthy snack to share of fresh fruit: blue berries, bananas, strawberries and other in season goodies!
Once at the landing dock, I met George, his daughter and her boyfriend. What? I thought it was just the two of us. Not sure I am ready to meet the family, but ready or not, here they are and here I am. I felt like freakin’ Suzie Homemaker with my day bag and fruit to share! Okay, nice to meet you’s and let’s get this boat in the water and set out to catch some fish! Not a cloud in the sky, we ventured out and I began to learn the ropes on trolling. The thirty or so foot boat had a nice little cabin below, but missing one crucial element: a real bathroom. What would be the plan for that? A bucket below with a quick dump on the side, I was assured. Hmmm…that’s not exactly what I had in mind on get to know you’s, but how bad could it be? Up for the day and out to enjoy, I can roll with it even on calm waters!
We rode out to a few spots, cast the lines and kept trolling for fish while listening to the radio and lying out on the boat deck. George’s daughter and I shared girl stuff and were getting to know each other while the guys did their man stuff of baiting the hooks, casting the lines and trying to catch some fish. It was truly a gorgeous day on the water and not a cloud in sight. A few fish were caught, but nothing that was able to save for a possible cooking later that day. A great start to a wonderful Saturday out on the Chesapeake Bay!! What more could I ask for?
Eventually nature called and I needed to relieve myself. I asked again about where to go, what the proper procedure was for this boating adventure and was told yet again about the bucket in the cabin being the best bet. So, pee in the bucket and George would ever so kindly dump the bucket off the side. I opened the cabin door with bucket in hand and started down the few steps.
Oops…Houston I think there’s a problem. Trying not being an alarmist or pushing the panic button on Polly Paranoid, I stepped into knee deep waters…ocean and bay waters combined inside the boat! Trying real hard to control my “oh no, there’s something wrong here and where’s the life jacket,” I summoned George, forgetting all about my nature stuff. Umm, is there a reason the cabin is filled with sea water? George looked in to see and confirm that “Yes, there is a problem!” We were indeed filled with water and if the water didn’t get out soon, we might just sink right here!
Fast forward to everyone get your life jacket on and let’s reset the pump, try to empty the boat and hope we aren’t calling the Coast Guard yet! I don’t know exactly what George did, but I went to the deck, tried to lay low and catch some sun and ignore the fact that this could be serious. Inside I was quite nervous! But, I went with the “if George isn’t panicking, then I shouldn’t” thought. We pulled in the fishing lines and his daughter and I sat together wrapped in towels being sprayed while the cabin was emptying at boat speed. Not sure how it all works, didn’t ask and really didn’t care as long as the life jacket was close. I had visions of being in the ocean water and the boat sinking…not good! What was your last meal? Oh, a tuna sandwich and some fruit salad! Not what I had envisioned as my last meal at all! I always thought I would be having those large strawberries dipped in chocolate while some hunk was taking my breath away, literally! Nope, I was going down in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay with tuna and fruit! Great!!
As we traveled throughout the Bay fishing lines in and water being expelled, George was certainly not Captain Fun! I could tell he was nervous, but didn’t want to really say. After a good amount of time, the water in the cabin was gone, George was trying to regroup for a day to fish yet again. I, on the other hand, was ready to call it a day. I had experienced what I considered a near death potential and wanted no part of the remainder. Get me back on dry land and to my safe harbor. I was wind beat, a bit over done with the sun, still had to pee and the bucket was looking like my only option. I took it as we headed in, and did the disposing as naturally as possible along the side of the boat.
We trolled a bit more and not really catching anything but a few half hearted laughs at the experience. The mood had certainly changed even George’s daughter was a bit somber. No one was coming out with the seriousness of the experience or voicing being frightened by it all. Maybe this is why my kids call me “chicken mom!” We headed towards the docks, each of us having a job to do. George was steering us into position, guiding the boat in, my taking the ropes to tie up temporarily then run get the Jeep while the rest of the crew helping as much as possible with not many words exchanged. Not exactly the boating excursion I had in mind, but neither do most plans play out like I thought. Story of my life and the three hour tour!
George phoned one day asking if I would like to take a boating trip and maybe go fishing. Sure! I love the water, have a respect and admiration for the ocean and would love to enjoy a beautiful day fishing! Why not? We planned to meet on a Saturday morning, early at a launch site somewhat close to where we would set our plan for fishing close to the where some good catches might be. I packed my day bag of sunscreen, towels and even a healthy snack to share of fresh fruit: blue berries, bananas, strawberries and other in season goodies!
Once at the landing dock, I met George, his daughter and her boyfriend. What? I thought it was just the two of us. Not sure I am ready to meet the family, but ready or not, here they are and here I am. I felt like freakin’ Suzie Homemaker with my day bag and fruit to share! Okay, nice to meet you’s and let’s get this boat in the water and set out to catch some fish! Not a cloud in the sky, we ventured out and I began to learn the ropes on trolling. The thirty or so foot boat had a nice little cabin below, but missing one crucial element: a real bathroom. What would be the plan for that? A bucket below with a quick dump on the side, I was assured. Hmmm…that’s not exactly what I had in mind on get to know you’s, but how bad could it be? Up for the day and out to enjoy, I can roll with it even on calm waters!
We rode out to a few spots, cast the lines and kept trolling for fish while listening to the radio and lying out on the boat deck. George’s daughter and I shared girl stuff and were getting to know each other while the guys did their man stuff of baiting the hooks, casting the lines and trying to catch some fish. It was truly a gorgeous day on the water and not a cloud in sight. A few fish were caught, but nothing that was able to save for a possible cooking later that day. A great start to a wonderful Saturday out on the Chesapeake Bay!! What more could I ask for?
Eventually nature called and I needed to relieve myself. I asked again about where to go, what the proper procedure was for this boating adventure and was told yet again about the bucket in the cabin being the best bet. So, pee in the bucket and George would ever so kindly dump the bucket off the side. I opened the cabin door with bucket in hand and started down the few steps.
Oops…Houston I think there’s a problem. Trying not being an alarmist or pushing the panic button on Polly Paranoid, I stepped into knee deep waters…ocean and bay waters combined inside the boat! Trying real hard to control my “oh no, there’s something wrong here and where’s the life jacket,” I summoned George, forgetting all about my nature stuff. Umm, is there a reason the cabin is filled with sea water? George looked in to see and confirm that “Yes, there is a problem!” We were indeed filled with water and if the water didn’t get out soon, we might just sink right here!
Fast forward to everyone get your life jacket on and let’s reset the pump, try to empty the boat and hope we aren’t calling the Coast Guard yet! I don’t know exactly what George did, but I went to the deck, tried to lay low and catch some sun and ignore the fact that this could be serious. Inside I was quite nervous! But, I went with the “if George isn’t panicking, then I shouldn’t” thought. We pulled in the fishing lines and his daughter and I sat together wrapped in towels being sprayed while the cabin was emptying at boat speed. Not sure how it all works, didn’t ask and really didn’t care as long as the life jacket was close. I had visions of being in the ocean water and the boat sinking…not good! What was your last meal? Oh, a tuna sandwich and some fruit salad! Not what I had envisioned as my last meal at all! I always thought I would be having those large strawberries dipped in chocolate while some hunk was taking my breath away, literally! Nope, I was going down in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay with tuna and fruit! Great!!
As we traveled throughout the Bay fishing lines in and water being expelled, George was certainly not Captain Fun! I could tell he was nervous, but didn’t want to really say. After a good amount of time, the water in the cabin was gone, George was trying to regroup for a day to fish yet again. I, on the other hand, was ready to call it a day. I had experienced what I considered a near death potential and wanted no part of the remainder. Get me back on dry land and to my safe harbor. I was wind beat, a bit over done with the sun, still had to pee and the bucket was looking like my only option. I took it as we headed in, and did the disposing as naturally as possible along the side of the boat.
We trolled a bit more and not really catching anything but a few half hearted laughs at the experience. The mood had certainly changed even George’s daughter was a bit somber. No one was coming out with the seriousness of the experience or voicing being frightened by it all. Maybe this is why my kids call me “chicken mom!” We headed towards the docks, each of us having a job to do. George was steering us into position, guiding the boat in, my taking the ropes to tie up temporarily then run get the Jeep while the rest of the crew helping as much as possible with not many words exchanged. Not exactly the boating excursion I had in mind, but neither do most plans play out like I thought. Story of my life and the three hour tour!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Doctor on Call...
In my line of work I tend to meet lots of people and some are in medical crisis, others are trying to assist. Sometimes there are opportunities for a little more than working the issue at hand and a bit of sharing. Such was the case one day after a committee meeting where a few doctors, hospital staff and others such as I were convening. I noticed one doctor in particular paying a bit more interest in me than previously. He asked about a particular subject and wanted to know if he could have my card and if we could talk again another day. Sure, not outside the boundaries of work requirements so it was acceptable to proceed with delivering my contact information and a follow up in the future. I was surprised to see an email requesting a meeting one evening a few days later. Maybe I am a bit on the clueless side, but I accepted and began the preparation for facts and figures relating to the topic discussed. (Yes, I thought this was a business meeting from the very first moment.)
I arrived at the meeting place, documents in hand and ready to talk business. I was surprised, however, when the doctor announced ever so politely that he really just wanted to spend some time getting to know me. What? I was certainly taken aback. I needed to switch gears here and never really even entertained the thought of getting to know you on any other level than the committee we were both members of. Hmm…okay. As he asked if I would like to order something to drink and we could go over the menu of appetizers, I was still trying to get into taking off my work hat and put on the me hat. So, I ordered a glass of wine and we began to engage in small talk, somewhat involving work topics but not as much as personal. (Honestly speaking, the personal side of me is somewhat guarded from professional and I was trying to regroup.)
I began to learn far more than I felt comfortable of the doctor. After medical school, building a successful practice and never having been married, Doctor on call was hoping to meet a woman, get married and have a family. What? Are you looking at me for this fulfillment or just sharing your goals? I dismissed this first warning bell and decided to just enjoy the appetizers that have arrived at this point. Our conversation returned to my comfort zone of work and differing projects up and coming. Whew! What was it about this meeting/ date that I wasn’t clued into or comfortable with? Not sure. Was it the mole on his face that I couldn’t break away from the Austin Powers “moley moley” voice screaming in my ear? I don’t know! I can’t look at this guy for anything other than a business acquaintance while he is looking at me as a great potential, even announcing he thinks it’s great that I have two children, would I like more? What? Maybe, not sure…on the fence, but not making that decision anytime soon, I don’t think so. With you? I highly doubt it. If…and that’s a BIG if…I decided to venture down that road of kids again one day, it would more than likely be a no at my age unless I got started right away with someone I had a real connection with. I’ve had my kids, enjoyed them and have the scars to prove it…Was fun, yes…not thinking of doing it again other than practicing the art! I love my live as it is-to think I would trade my body in again for that is probably not going to happen. Plus, I am the eight hour a night girl; sleep deprivation is not in my vocabulary! Let you in to be their dad, nope…they have one! Start all over again…probably not!
As we continued finishing up the appetizer, the waitress came to ask if we would like to order dinner. Me, no I am almost done with the meeting. It hasn’t gone like I thought, not sure why I am here, so I’m about ready to be on the way out. The Doctor on Call, however, was hungry for dinner and asked if I would mind staying while he ordered dinner. Umm…this is not what I thought and obviously you don’t want to eat dinner alone or go back to your condo without eating, so I guess I can stay. And, I did, feeling somewhat sorry for a well established doctor colleague having to eat dinner alone for an evening. We talked a little bit more about college, current job and issues at hand with patient services. I admit the work conversation with him was much more in line with my comfort zone. When the conversation branched out, yet again, to personal I began to get uneasy.
At forty three, he confessed to feeling as if the clock was ticking and he was in search of finding that someone to build a future with. Here was this guy, mole and all, bearing his inner most thought of having achieved so much but missing a major piece of the puzzle in sharing it all with someone…right here in front of me. What’s wrong with me that I can’t see the forest for the trees? Well, I decided right then and there to be brutally honest and say that I am not there foraging for a mate amongst the pines. I felt bad, but I had to be honest and say I am not that gal. I’ve had my children, devoted seventeen years of life with someone and it didn’t work as planned. Not ready or willing to jump into anything anytime soon with anyone looking for that fairy tale right away. You’re a nice guy and I’m a nice girl, but I’m not what you desire. I doubt I will ever be that girl. I’ve been there, done that, got my t-shirt and scars to prove it!
As he finished his dinner and paid, I expressed gratitude for taking the initiative to ask me out, although under false pretenses. I wished him well in his search and looked forward to working on future projects together. I appreciate the compliment, but respectfully decline future opportunities for outings as I know I am not what you are looking for. I do, however, welcome growth opportunities on projects to benefit our community with respect to our jobs. He politely walked me to my car and thanked me for my time, wished me well and expressed a heartfelt note of being in two different places in our lives at this point in time. If, however, my thoughts change, he would be willing to meet again...on call for the future. Not going to happen, but thanks for the offer.
I arrived at the meeting place, documents in hand and ready to talk business. I was surprised, however, when the doctor announced ever so politely that he really just wanted to spend some time getting to know me. What? I was certainly taken aback. I needed to switch gears here and never really even entertained the thought of getting to know you on any other level than the committee we were both members of. Hmm…okay. As he asked if I would like to order something to drink and we could go over the menu of appetizers, I was still trying to get into taking off my work hat and put on the me hat. So, I ordered a glass of wine and we began to engage in small talk, somewhat involving work topics but not as much as personal. (Honestly speaking, the personal side of me is somewhat guarded from professional and I was trying to regroup.)
I began to learn far more than I felt comfortable of the doctor. After medical school, building a successful practice and never having been married, Doctor on call was hoping to meet a woman, get married and have a family. What? Are you looking at me for this fulfillment or just sharing your goals? I dismissed this first warning bell and decided to just enjoy the appetizers that have arrived at this point. Our conversation returned to my comfort zone of work and differing projects up and coming. Whew! What was it about this meeting/ date that I wasn’t clued into or comfortable with? Not sure. Was it the mole on his face that I couldn’t break away from the Austin Powers “moley moley” voice screaming in my ear? I don’t know! I can’t look at this guy for anything other than a business acquaintance while he is looking at me as a great potential, even announcing he thinks it’s great that I have two children, would I like more? What? Maybe, not sure…on the fence, but not making that decision anytime soon, I don’t think so. With you? I highly doubt it. If…and that’s a BIG if…I decided to venture down that road of kids again one day, it would more than likely be a no at my age unless I got started right away with someone I had a real connection with. I’ve had my kids, enjoyed them and have the scars to prove it…Was fun, yes…not thinking of doing it again other than practicing the art! I love my live as it is-to think I would trade my body in again for that is probably not going to happen. Plus, I am the eight hour a night girl; sleep deprivation is not in my vocabulary! Let you in to be their dad, nope…they have one! Start all over again…probably not!
As we continued finishing up the appetizer, the waitress came to ask if we would like to order dinner. Me, no I am almost done with the meeting. It hasn’t gone like I thought, not sure why I am here, so I’m about ready to be on the way out. The Doctor on Call, however, was hungry for dinner and asked if I would mind staying while he ordered dinner. Umm…this is not what I thought and obviously you don’t want to eat dinner alone or go back to your condo without eating, so I guess I can stay. And, I did, feeling somewhat sorry for a well established doctor colleague having to eat dinner alone for an evening. We talked a little bit more about college, current job and issues at hand with patient services. I admit the work conversation with him was much more in line with my comfort zone. When the conversation branched out, yet again, to personal I began to get uneasy.
At forty three, he confessed to feeling as if the clock was ticking and he was in search of finding that someone to build a future with. Here was this guy, mole and all, bearing his inner most thought of having achieved so much but missing a major piece of the puzzle in sharing it all with someone…right here in front of me. What’s wrong with me that I can’t see the forest for the trees? Well, I decided right then and there to be brutally honest and say that I am not there foraging for a mate amongst the pines. I felt bad, but I had to be honest and say I am not that gal. I’ve had my children, devoted seventeen years of life with someone and it didn’t work as planned. Not ready or willing to jump into anything anytime soon with anyone looking for that fairy tale right away. You’re a nice guy and I’m a nice girl, but I’m not what you desire. I doubt I will ever be that girl. I’ve been there, done that, got my t-shirt and scars to prove it!
As he finished his dinner and paid, I expressed gratitude for taking the initiative to ask me out, although under false pretenses. I wished him well in his search and looked forward to working on future projects together. I appreciate the compliment, but respectfully decline future opportunities for outings as I know I am not what you are looking for. I do, however, welcome growth opportunities on projects to benefit our community with respect to our jobs. He politely walked me to my car and thanked me for my time, wished me well and expressed a heartfelt note of being in two different places in our lives at this point in time. If, however, my thoughts change, he would be willing to meet again...on call for the future. Not going to happen, but thanks for the offer.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Smile for the camera...
Thank God for friends, right? During the ups and downs in this dating thing, friends kept suggesting they each knew someone I would “perfect” for. The latest was a golfing pal. Fred had a former coworker who also enjoyed golf. Knowing how much I loved the game, he suggested we should all get together and play a round. It would be a prime opportunity for me to get to know Richard more and spend some quality time with a golf buddy-two wins! Golf outings for dates are usually a “what not to do” for me since I have met, in my twenty years of playing the game, countless men paired up for the day and I havne't met too many men I wanted to spend another hour with after those first four. One learns a lot about another person when you spend four hours together on the golf course! But, hey…at this stage of the dating game, I was willing to give it a try. Nothing to lose and maybe a golf partner to gain, right?
Fred planned a Saturday round at a local course favorite and I would meet Richard. Richard, according to Fred, enjoyed traveling, was a professional firefighter and had no real baggage to speak of. Come on! Everyone is carrying around some sort of baggage trunk. Some trunks just have wheels and are portable while others’ baggage is steamer trunks and there’s no hope of moving them without a crane! I tend to think mine are wrapped in a fashionable bag with shoulder straps and easy to let go of at times. Whatever, Fred. You’ve known me for several years, playing golf many times in groups together, so I value your opinion and am running with it.
Saturday came and I drove to the course in make up, a hat and a cute little golf skort with complimentary sleeveless top. (I hate playing in sleeves and always wear a hat-cute but not overdoing it, same as I would any other golf day!) Fred was already on the practice range with a bucket of balls for me and awaiting the arrival of Richard. As we greeted one another and began working on our groove thing: aka swing, Richard strolled up looking as if he had just stepped out of a photo shoot for Golf Digest. Not a hair was out of place, the clothes matched perfectly and were pressed, even the shoes matched! Hhmmmm…first impression saying a lot: too pretty for me; screaming high maintenance already! (Yes, guys can be high maintenance too!!) And, what’s that attachment to his ear? Oh, the blue tooth wireless phone. Hmmm…how important is he or does he think he is that he can’t ditch that for four hours? Strike two already and I have four hours to go. Fred, this is not looking good! What's that saying mom and dad repeated: you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
Richard and I greeted each other with a hand shake, which for this was more than appropriate. Fred, what in the world were you thinking? But, roll with it girl you never know. Richard and I said polite hello’s and each took our spot on the range with a few minutes before tee time. Okay, did I just not witness a whiter than white smile? No, not the normal, “I brush and floss daily” smile, but a completely unnatural and blinding white toothy grin. The kind that makes you think in the middle of the night you might say “honey, could you grab the so and so from the dresser, no need to turn on the light, just smile…that’ll be bright enough!” For real this guy was high maintenance; now I know for sure!
As the starter summoned us to the first tee, I was so not interested in riding in the same cart with Richard. I suggested that Richard and Fred take one cart and I the other since I would be hitting last, from the forward tees. Thankfully, the guys agreed to the “girl logic” and I was in my own cart. Maybe Richard was thinking the same of me already, which was fine by me. At the first tee, Richard’s phone went off. He continued to talk on the phone until he set his ball on the tee, momentarily pausing the phone conversation, swing, then returned to the call. Oh, God please let that be a rare moment and not “par for the course” today. I admit to keeping my phone on while playing, but ringer off and more often than not it’s a quick text message from my kids and response. No discussion, just brief, short and simple.
Anyway, as hole after hole played out, Richard continued with his bright, cheesy smile and phone conversations, sometimes mentioning his travels, cruising and his life. I really tuned out. This guy was turning into a total high maintenance guy and 100% not what I was into at all. There seemed to be nothing “real” about him except a real show. If he had broken wind, woofed it or even tripped on the way to the tee, let out an occasional f-bomb at a bad shot things could have gotten a little better. Nope, not going to happen; this guy was all about appearance and there seemed to be nothing genuine about him, except he was a good golfer-I’ll give him that.
By the turn of nine, I was trying to dig up some excuse to bail but couldn’t think of anything good, so I just stuck it out. Two hours had passed and I was ready to pull out my headphones and tune out, work my own game and be done with this. Back to my old principles I go of a “what not to do” when mixing my pleasures. Although friends had assured me if I wanted to find someone, I might start with the things I enjoy so we could have something in common. This, by far, was disastrous and if I never saw Richard again in my life, it would be too soon. I admit, although not Catholic, there are few people I can do golf twice or more with and Richard was a once in a lifetime experience that I wish I never had. Fred realized well into the front nine that I was in my own world and playing my own game and was trying hard not to notice the bright smiling one who was constantly on his freakin’ phone…quite annoying! Are we on camera here? No, just posing in case someone is watching!
I honestly don’t remember the back nine. I was just going through the motions of playing my own game, letting them go off on their own and talking firemen talk. There was nothing “hot” about this guy at all. Golf is one of those independent, self games that is the player, the course and the ball, good shots and maybe what could be if there was a “mulligan.” Thank God I make my living another way, because I wouldn’t just be “poor on paper” I would be poor in real life. What I lack in real talent, however, I make up in enthusiasm and love for the game- yes, I have the bug! Execution in golf is crucial and enjoyment is what you make of it, regardless of who you are with. I recognize the game itself that day was good; the company however was not as good. I would play with Fred any day, but Richard…absolutely not, without a doubt.
As we finished the game I couldn’t wait to just get to the clubhouse, clean my clubs and drive off into the sunset. There would be no beer to celebrate the end of a good round, share stories of shots of the day and talk of what could have been. Fred and I bid “nice game and catch you later” to one another while Richard and I said maybe two words, but doubtful. Obviously, this was not happening again…once was enough! Richard could go through life smiling for the camera with that whiter than white, cheesy grin. Good luck with that!
Fred planned a Saturday round at a local course favorite and I would meet Richard. Richard, according to Fred, enjoyed traveling, was a professional firefighter and had no real baggage to speak of. Come on! Everyone is carrying around some sort of baggage trunk. Some trunks just have wheels and are portable while others’ baggage is steamer trunks and there’s no hope of moving them without a crane! I tend to think mine are wrapped in a fashionable bag with shoulder straps and easy to let go of at times. Whatever, Fred. You’ve known me for several years, playing golf many times in groups together, so I value your opinion and am running with it.
Saturday came and I drove to the course in make up, a hat and a cute little golf skort with complimentary sleeveless top. (I hate playing in sleeves and always wear a hat-cute but not overdoing it, same as I would any other golf day!) Fred was already on the practice range with a bucket of balls for me and awaiting the arrival of Richard. As we greeted one another and began working on our groove thing: aka swing, Richard strolled up looking as if he had just stepped out of a photo shoot for Golf Digest. Not a hair was out of place, the clothes matched perfectly and were pressed, even the shoes matched! Hhmmmm…first impression saying a lot: too pretty for me; screaming high maintenance already! (Yes, guys can be high maintenance too!!) And, what’s that attachment to his ear? Oh, the blue tooth wireless phone. Hmmm…how important is he or does he think he is that he can’t ditch that for four hours? Strike two already and I have four hours to go. Fred, this is not looking good! What's that saying mom and dad repeated: you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
Richard and I greeted each other with a hand shake, which for this was more than appropriate. Fred, what in the world were you thinking? But, roll with it girl you never know. Richard and I said polite hello’s and each took our spot on the range with a few minutes before tee time. Okay, did I just not witness a whiter than white smile? No, not the normal, “I brush and floss daily” smile, but a completely unnatural and blinding white toothy grin. The kind that makes you think in the middle of the night you might say “honey, could you grab the so and so from the dresser, no need to turn on the light, just smile…that’ll be bright enough!” For real this guy was high maintenance; now I know for sure!
As the starter summoned us to the first tee, I was so not interested in riding in the same cart with Richard. I suggested that Richard and Fred take one cart and I the other since I would be hitting last, from the forward tees. Thankfully, the guys agreed to the “girl logic” and I was in my own cart. Maybe Richard was thinking the same of me already, which was fine by me. At the first tee, Richard’s phone went off. He continued to talk on the phone until he set his ball on the tee, momentarily pausing the phone conversation, swing, then returned to the call. Oh, God please let that be a rare moment and not “par for the course” today. I admit to keeping my phone on while playing, but ringer off and more often than not it’s a quick text message from my kids and response. No discussion, just brief, short and simple.
Anyway, as hole after hole played out, Richard continued with his bright, cheesy smile and phone conversations, sometimes mentioning his travels, cruising and his life. I really tuned out. This guy was turning into a total high maintenance guy and 100% not what I was into at all. There seemed to be nothing “real” about him except a real show. If he had broken wind, woofed it or even tripped on the way to the tee, let out an occasional f-bomb at a bad shot things could have gotten a little better. Nope, not going to happen; this guy was all about appearance and there seemed to be nothing genuine about him, except he was a good golfer-I’ll give him that.
By the turn of nine, I was trying to dig up some excuse to bail but couldn’t think of anything good, so I just stuck it out. Two hours had passed and I was ready to pull out my headphones and tune out, work my own game and be done with this. Back to my old principles I go of a “what not to do” when mixing my pleasures. Although friends had assured me if I wanted to find someone, I might start with the things I enjoy so we could have something in common. This, by far, was disastrous and if I never saw Richard again in my life, it would be too soon. I admit, although not Catholic, there are few people I can do golf twice or more with and Richard was a once in a lifetime experience that I wish I never had. Fred realized well into the front nine that I was in my own world and playing my own game and was trying hard not to notice the bright smiling one who was constantly on his freakin’ phone…quite annoying! Are we on camera here? No, just posing in case someone is watching!
I honestly don’t remember the back nine. I was just going through the motions of playing my own game, letting them go off on their own and talking firemen talk. There was nothing “hot” about this guy at all. Golf is one of those independent, self games that is the player, the course and the ball, good shots and maybe what could be if there was a “mulligan.” Thank God I make my living another way, because I wouldn’t just be “poor on paper” I would be poor in real life. What I lack in real talent, however, I make up in enthusiasm and love for the game- yes, I have the bug! Execution in golf is crucial and enjoyment is what you make of it, regardless of who you are with. I recognize the game itself that day was good; the company however was not as good. I would play with Fred any day, but Richard…absolutely not, without a doubt.
As we finished the game I couldn’t wait to just get to the clubhouse, clean my clubs and drive off into the sunset. There would be no beer to celebrate the end of a good round, share stories of shots of the day and talk of what could have been. Fred and I bid “nice game and catch you later” to one another while Richard and I said maybe two words, but doubtful. Obviously, this was not happening again…once was enough! Richard could go through life smiling for the camera with that whiter than white, cheesy grin. Good luck with that!
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