across the pond...

My lunch date number who knows what, but still counting was set. Mr. of the day was working in the area temporarily but wanted to meet a local girl and go from there. He had been divorced just under a year, three children, athletic and into politics/ government. I thought, well just try it out. I had never been to the lunch spot before and was curious of the first hand experience at a place I had heard about.

I arrived to meet my man of the hour choosing a small table on the veranda overlooking the river. Great spot!! It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon to enjoy the waterfront view, boats all about, and get to meet someone new. Once Ian and I decided on lunch and my ordering enough for three, I explained that lunch was my largest meal of the day. I continued to explain my routine of a smaller breakfast, large lunch and lite dinner. And, yes I did snack on fruit or yogurt & nuts during the day. I have a healthy diet…and no, I didn’t expect him to pay for my food. I was going to eat and not some small salad like some girls might!

Ian explained his foreign status and how he was working on a temporary assignment in the U.S. and eventually would be moving back to Europe with his three small children so they could be closer to their families. Radar…I’m not moving! I love my life here in Virginia Beach and doubt I am moving anywhere anytime soon. Three small children…hmmm…I have two children and am not ready to be a mom to three others anytime soon either. He explained how his wife left him with the three little ones and how being a single dad working is quite difficult, especially with the hours he has to put in. Well, I was sensing the need of a caretaker…not just for the kids, but for him too. I don’t think I’m that gal; I have enough to take care of with my own house & two kids.

As the food arrived I offered to share, but the offer was declined. So, I did what I normally would do…I ate! He picked at his plate of seared tuna and seaweed mix and we continued to talk. The conversation revolved around his impending move back to Europe, how life was so different in the U.S. and we aren’t nearly as simple as he had been led to believe. My patience meter was beginning to rise to red as he somewhat bashed the American dream and although I listened, admit it was half hearted. I set my sights on the sails along the water. The view and location were by far better than the company.

But, as us time conscious Americans are he went on, he had allotted only one hour and would have to get back to the office. He politely asked, could I do lunch again another day in the future? Well, maybe. I don’t think I’m what you are looking for, but why not? I gave my office number and email address. He said he would be in touch. It would be easy to filter the email and decide later.

Probably a week or more passed and an email request came in for lunch from Ian close to my office. Sure, I don’t have anything that day. So lunch date # 2 with Ian was made-technically not a one date wonder. We chose a trendy, yet favorite place for lunch with some of my favorite foods! Once there, he said he appreciated my meeting him again and felt we had a lot in common and a connection. Really? I didn’t think so. I only said yes to meeting you again because mom said I didn’t give you a chance. (Yes, I do listen to mom still on occasions! Was there a secret hint at a desire to take a European trip?)

As we sat at the bar area of one of my favorite lunch spots, I ordered an appetizer and a regular meal. He ordered a small salad again. When the food came, I offered just as before to share. He absolutely looked at me like I had cooties! Is this a “what not to do” in your country? I hadn’t planned on feeding you, just being polite and offering to share a sampling yet again of the variety of foods. Sensing this is a derailing train here, I began to enjoy my meal and couldn’t wait to get to my fortune cookie-certainly there would be some good news there! At some point during lunch, Ian made some snide comment after seeing him pick at his salad and my offering once more to give him some of mine “I’ve seen you eat lunch and thanks, but no thanks!” Well, that didn’t sit well with me! I have good table manners and I was taught to share and be considerate! Kindness, giving and patience are all virtues I think I possess but as told once before, yes..horns do hold up my halo!! And look out, buddy ol’ pal…my horns are coming through!!

I went back to mom’s little words of I didn’t give the guy a chance…here’s your chance, mister-make something good out of what you just said! But, it didn’t happen. He pulled out a shovel and began digging the biggest black hole imaginable! I felt like I was Forrest and Jenny was yelling at me..”Run, Forrest! Run!!” No sharing of food, no sharing of laughs, just stick a fork in me…this is done! I asked for the check, paid my bill and said a polite “nice to meet you, but please don’t call or email again.” And, that truly was it. I’m not moving across the pond, I’m not the nanny to be…good luck with that! In this case, mom, my instincts were right…so not worth the second try. But, you and I can take a trip to Europe another day!