Time is on my side...

My new best friends called one day asking if I had some time to meet someone after work one night. Sure. Kids aren’t home this week, so why not? Didn’t really know much about the guy, only that he lived sometimes in my town and in another out of state, liked boating, travel, played tennis for his college, had no children, mid-forties, newly divorced and interested really in just meeting new people. Me too, on the last part at least, so I agreed.

I arrived a few minutes early to the wine bar and had a chance to zip into the ladies room and grab a table. As I saw this guy approaching, I thought…oh no, please do not let that be him. He was a Jack Nicholson look alike, could even be his twin-bad hair plugs and all! Yes, it was my date-much to my chagrin--unlucky me! As he came in dressed in his ridiculous silver and black jacket with jeans, he greeted me with a big bear hug. I honestly began to choke on his cologne- he must have taken a bath in it! Beyond over powering, was he hiding some terrible BO or smokers scent? Either way, I was so thankful that I was sitting across from this guy at a rather large table top for two rather than an intimate table for two all the way in the back!

As the waitress came over to give our menus and ask if we had been there before, both of us said yes. She asked if we knew what we would like to drink and I said I would like to try the Argentina chardonnay, if possible a glass only. He announced he would like “a cab.” Well, is that the yellow cab company? Do you have their number? This was a wine bar with more than two hundred different wines. He didn’t even look at the menu, which I had a chance to look at prior to his arriving and decide on a nice glass of wine. The waitress was a bit taken aback and looked at me for guidance, for which I had none. I didn’t know this guy and had no clue what he liked, disliked, preferred, or not; I was just as clueless as she was! Finally, she asked a few probing questions and she chose one for him.

As the waitress was off getting our glasses, he began to tell me all about his nasty divorce and how this week he was swamped with settling estate issues and was not happy it was all court ordered. I was lucky he could spare an evening out for drinks. He was busy dividing half of this, half of that. He was completely angry about places he use to go he no longer feels accepted, so called friends dropping like flies and choosing sides, etc. He was going on and on about his divorce, very discontent and even fair to say bitter about it all. But, he was thankful there were no kids involved. He should have seen it coming: a real gold digger his ex-wife was. After all, he had this and that and was worth this and should be more than fine with that, even if having to share for some years, court ordered of course. As fifteen minutes had probably passed by now, I realized I was ten minutes late for the door! Sticking to the dating service guidelines, I had committed to meet this guy for one hour. How am I going to stomach this? I have forty five minutes left and judging by the size of his watch, bigger than my phone, I could easily keep track of time and be done with this growing mistake!

Finally, the waitress returned with our drinks. I think I could have used a double by this point of a shot instead of a swanky glass of wine! Stick the iv in me, just to get me through the hour! Calgon or something take me away-please!! The waitress was quite nice, asking if we had a chance to look at the menu and would we like to order an appetizer? I suggested something quick and easy, a Mediterranean cheese platter with a possible prawn and mushroom bruscetta sauce to share. Great choice, as he agreed and continued dismissing the waitress to run off and prepare our goodies-chop chop, missy…I’m trying to score here! Once she left, he began to return to his miserable life, but had so much to offer someone: lives in a luxurious penthouse overlooking the city, flies routinely to ball games and has plenty of room on the plane for college buddies and friends, all of whom are financially secure and come from a long line of thoroughbreds and some of the best education in the country. Finally, a bit disgusted with all the “things” he was throwing out there to me, I mentioned one of my philosophies in life: the richest guy in the cemetery is just like everyone else there…he’s dead! Can’t take any of "it" with him, but goes out like he came: with nothing! Well, he wasn’t impressed with my philosophy one bit!

Then, he asked about my job and how I got involved in my work. I explained how I started, how I enjoyed it and just what an honor I feel to be paid to do something I love so much as each day is different. My job is what I consider a “paycheck of the heart.” What a load of crap, he thought; I could see it in his eyes! I could tell by his demeanor and his previous comments that he was all about the stuff in life and although he attended seminary and was a devout catholic, he was driven by the dollar and accumulating more and more. Life was a game to him, to conquer and settle deals, and according to him, he was quite good at the game! Winning was what he was happiest doing and then celebrating the nail in the coffin! Wow-I have a real winner on my hands here! Have at it, hot dog! Good for you! Life is too short, in my humble opinion, to chase a dollar bill! Another deep thought emerges on happiness yet again: happiness is in the journey of life, not the destination of job titles, excess bank accounts, fancy cars and clothes. Whew…got that out! But, just as before, he was so not impressed. We were by far, polar opposites on this one…and no, not the kind of “opposites attract” either-we were fundamentally opposite, wired completely different with no hope of balance!

Once our food arrived, I prepared a small plate for me and tried to explain the different cheeses and even the honey and other accompaniments for different flavors accenting the wines, both of ours. He grabbed the prawn dish with his bear like claws. I barely had a chance to get one before he was downing the remainder and nearly licking the sauce plate clean. It was utterly disgusting! For someone who had so much success, one would think he had more sense than that or at least better table manners and surely that big expensive, better than average education could have afforded some sort of knife and fork school. Nope, not this guy; he was a taker! No giving traits observed or spoken as of yet.

I had really spared about as much time as I could handle with this guy and it was not getting any better. In fact, it was becoming more and more obvious to both of us that we were wasting our time. Speaking of time, I was watching the minutes go by on that big watch of his from across the table. Barely before the hour limit, I decided to excuse myself and do the right thing: leave. I know we weren’t finished with the appetizers and I hadn’t finished my glass of wine, but I was done with this date for the night and this guy forever. I had plenty of time for the night to enjoy, but not with this winner. I thanked him for his time, but explained I needed to go and relieve my sitter. Oh, that’s right, I don’t have one; kids are out of town, but he didn’t know that! I left the posh wine bar and went home to have my own glass poolside. When certain time is being wasted, check out- you never know what tomorrow will bring! Thankfully time truly is on my side!