the group outing...

Okay, having dealt one on one with many dating ventures, I joined a group of singles. It seemed somewhat appealing: you could engage in ballroom dancing, movie nights out and other events that you wouldn’t have to go alone…a group of other singles would be right there with you. Nearly perfect, I thought. Some of these things on the monthly calendar I might not try alone. How nice that a group would get together and you could mix and mingle, maybe even find a compatible companion or at least meet a new friend. Plus, the price was right for a trial period…I was broadening my horizons and taking a chance!

The first outing seemed innocuous, even somewhat interesting and in my comfort zone: a concert at the beach with a little dinner or appetizer prior. Great- I love the beach! For a nice summer’s night, it would be ideal…maybe. I decided to have a friend join me and we would go together. We took off for the night’s meeting spot and checked in. How would I know who’s who? Do we have a scarlet letter sewn in on someone’s chest? Nope! A colorful scarf--- close! As we checked in and sat at a table where already at least five others were, I began to feel a little out of place. Everyone was much older than I and definitely interested in dinner, not the concert and being outside. A few others found there way to the scarf table and began making one large group. By the time everyone who had RSVP’ed arrived, there was a good 25 or so singles in the group. Can’t judge a book by its cover, but I think the most we had in common was that we were single. As the conversations began to unfold, it became quite apparent to me that yes, that was about all we had in common.

Have you ever seen the movie American Gigilo? Well, it was kind of like that! I was Deuce and I was hanging out with the city’s tallest guy, shortest guy, the one that had more issues than all the pills manufactured could help, and almost everything in between! I was completely out of place! I was a “normal” girl with a good life, happy and just wanting to maybe meet someone to share laughs with and go from there. These folks didn’t know how to laugh…they were stuck in misery of regret and time had passed them by; they were resentful and seeking happiness within someone else instead of looking inside or even at the reflection in the mirror for their part in the play! It was beyond a crazy myriad of folks. But, looking for the silver lining in the situation, I realized that they too were like me: single and putting themselves out there in hopes of finding someone who would understand them, appreciate their special qualities and maybe even create something lasting even if just a friendship.

Outside I ventured, to the great ocean breeze awaiting the live band and a completely different set of normsl. My friend joined me and together we were contemplating the group; really not my speed, type or interest, but, nice, none the less. I did make a few business contacts, so it wasn’t a total loss. The food was good, but the company was a reminiscent of a “what not to do” in the future. The band was setting up and soon they would begin to play. Now the fun was just beginning! Many people began to gather and the crowd started to thicken. Opportunities began to arise and meeting others outside the group emerged. Okay, group thing not so bad. I got out of the house, beginning to come into my own and if it had not been for the group event, I wouldn’t be here. Thanks, group! The band was AWESOME! We danced quite a bit, listening to the live music while the waves crashed on the shore…or in Virginia Beach where there are no waves unless there’s a storm, they rolled in somewhat silently. But, the music was great and thankfully the other members of the group stayed inside or maybe even left for the night; I have no idea. Never saw most of them again.

A few hours into the night, with a couple of other single gals outside of the group joining us, the evening was shaping up to be more entertaining than I had imagined. No, I didn’t meet a guy that would remotely have a snow ball’s chance in hell for my attention, but I realized yet another thing: this single, dating life would be about putting myself out there and enjoying life, experiencing things maybe I wouldn’t have before. Sure I would have gone to an outdoor concert, maybe not that one or even by myself, but I was glad I did this one. We danced, laughed and shared stories of dating just as girls often do when out for the night. In the end, it was a blast! As I ventured to my car for the valet service later, I found gratitude in the experience. Learning more about myself than I thought I would and thankful for yet a night out to listen to the band at the beach! Being alone does have its advantages and if unable to spend the night with one someone special, at least you can enjoy the moment of where you are- with or without a guy or group: realizing more and more that happiness comes from within.