Just Fabulous!

It’s mid summer now and having experienced quite a few “one date wonders” I am now in search of the one that truly turns into two. A friend of mine, similar story married long time, divorced and single mom, had a wonderful love story of how she meet her now husband on line-first date! No, really! They are now expecting their first child and it all started on line and a one date that has turned into a near fairy tale! Good for them, truly! I am happy she is happy-now, spread that luck of love on me, girlie!

I posted my profile up on a dating website just for kicks, and a few possibilities. It took a while to post what I perceived as being honest and true, not a virtual me: a) my hobbies are: anything outside; easy! b) my last read: horoscope for fun! c) my favorite city/ travel spot: Paris, France and Sorrento, Italy…oh, hope to go to Greece one day soon! Next, the hard part: tell us a little about yourself and what you are looking for in five hundred words or less. By now you can probably tell I could talk to a brick wall and think it would answer. But, I did it and added some photos...hit submit and viola-I was accepted! (Not sure anyone gets turned down, but I was up for full viewing!)

The first week I was like fresh meat hanging in the market place. Flies and freaks were hitting my site like tomorrow was not a given. I gained a second, non paying job that week trying to filter through the 600+ hits, posted notes, emails, etc. Okay, girl-you need to come up with parameters, you are too broad; everyone thinks you fit what they are looking for or is interested; profile-edit time! So, keeping it short and simple I added: if you don’t post a photo, not responding! Whew! Easier than I thought! And, I stuck to that one!

There were a few back and forth messages in the weeks to come with a few prospects or potentials. A few phone numbers given and taken, a few conversations as well with nothing else to follow….until Paul. Over the next week or so, Paul and I exchanged snipits of life on the site, a few laughs out loud (LOL) and LMFAO's (laughing my freakin’ aspradilla off)-yeah, I know what it really means! Then came the real ask: “Can I call you?” was the tagline. Hmmm…let me think about this one. Not sure why I am hesitating, but let me look at the picture again. Oh, right, there’s the surfboard in front of him, maybe a “baby” hiding behind it. Girls, you know what I’m talking about! Some guys look as if they are “due” any day now! Everything else could be bird-like thin, but there’s a baby due thanks to the weight distribution of maybe a few beers too many! Taking a chance, not being “Chicken Mom” as my children call me, I agreed via email to give my number to Paul.

Not even an hour went by and my unknown ringtone was playing. I answered to hear a deep southern drawl and it was Paul. Being a pretty good conversationalist myself, we talked about this and that for quite some time. This was easy! I learned about his son, his coaching and his job- all simple, ordinary life stuff. A few phone calls later, Paul asked me out for Saturday night. Well, that’s a good sign: if a guy is interested, he’s going to ask for the coveted weekend time to share! Not having the kids that weekend or any other plans, I said yes. We agreed to meet at the beach, a quaint on the water restaurant near sunset time so the view and atmosphere would be just as nice as the company. I received a few text messages throughout the day: “excited about tonight”, “I’ll be wearing a burgundy shirt”, etc. Then, I remember the surf board. I returned a text asking “do you look like your picture?” and received a response: “yes” simple as that. “Me too” I replied. Whew! Got that out of the way! Bling-incoming: “Stepped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 215.” What? Was that before or after the morning BM? I’m only 135...visions of bird legs and a baby on the way are returning! As well as that “fatty and skinny went to bed, fatty rolled over and skinny was dead!” childhood song running through my head!

Out to the restaurant I go. I valet my car and calmly walk in through the outdoor. Anybody who was anybody could probably see I was yet again anxious. There before me, dressed in a burgundy shirt was tall Paul. I say tall Paul because he was maybe 6’5” and when you are 5’5” you kind of are looking up the whole time talking or he is looking down. Anyway, the conversationalist in both of us came out. I ordered a rum and coke with a lime while he was already starting on a Martini. Reverse drink orders here, I know. Then, Paul took the lead in conversation wildly explaining with much enthusiasm accompanied by Italian style arm movements and hand gestures of his, and I quote “FABULOUS” day. There was a “twist” in his style and mannerisms that were a little “different” but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. So, I listened and observed more…my gaydar was up-what little I had! Plus, he used that buzz word-all my gay friends tell me that is THE word!

I excused myself to the restroom before the table was ready and as I sat on the toilet contemplating my “date” I sent a quick text to my girlfriend Kelly…”call me n 15…date is gay?” As I returned to the bar area, Paul announced our table was ready. As we sat waterside to see the somewhat sunset, he ordered another Martini and asked if I wanted another drink as well. Feeling, I may need it for sure before this night is over, I said yes. By now in the dating cycle of my life, I’m growing a little stronger and getting some preliminaries out of the way that first date. Our conversation was still going pretty good, but there was still something not right. So, as the waitress is bringing the appetizer out I calmly said: “I have a quick question for you: do you date women only?” You should have seen the look in his face: a real deer in headlights look followed by a “what do you mean?” I said, “well, do you date men too or just women or both?” His response was “I’m a coach and a dad.” By this time , I'm on "three strikes, you’re out!" Plus, I wanted to scream “Answer the FREAKIN’ question, buddy!” But, I was saved by the bell…

The familiar sound of Kelly’s sweet ringtone was ringing in ever so perfectly! “What?” I asked, “Are you serious?” Without knowing what was going on, Kelly said “Is everything okay?” I responded, “OMG are you hurt? Where are you? Do you need me to come get you? I’m at the oceanfront! Leaving right now! Call the police and don’t let that other car leave! Get insurance numbers….everything!” Kelly, still clueless, was asking “what is going on?” Meanwhile, Paul chimed in…”I’ll go with you!” Like hell you, I am out of here! Check please!" No, I’m not catholic, but I confess, I did walk out! Yes, I answered honestly the next day about leaving and there was no point in any correspondence. I'm that 2 year old in the sandbox that thinks: what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine...I don't share! Just one “Fabulous” night that didn’t end there, but that’s another story to share later!