By now my new best friends at the dating service were helping me out and setting me up on as many dates as I would take: lunch here, dinner there, drinks after work. I would even be open for a quick coffee if that’s what would work best for the guy. (Notice a little giving trait here-personality flaw or feather…you decide.) I just wanted to experience dating. So much had changed in the last twenty years and despite many one date’s, I was determined to keep going. One Friday night I had a work/ community function to attend. The art exhibit was a private showing featuring a local artist in which proceeds would be donated to a local charity. So up my alley and interest level! One problem, the dating service called and there’s a doctor looking at Friday night after work drinks, could I squeeze them both in? Well, why yes I can!
I showed up just a little early to the little bar/ restaurant downtown and did a quick rush to the ladies room to freshen up after working all day. When I came out, my date had arrived; he was medium built and Italian looking features and handsome, but not stop a train G Q quality either. He introduced himself as Rob and we set foot towards a little booth in the back corner. We each ordered a glass of wine and a quick appetizer to share. He was really easy to talk to, although I think he was a bit more nervous than I. After all, I was getting use to interviewing as well as being interviewed at this point. We each took turns explaining simple things: hobbies, interests, travel, etc. Then, he asked if I knew he was a doctor and I said yes. Our conversation turned somewhat medical, but not the least bit boring to me. For my job, I am around physicians, surgeons, patients and families often in a medical crisis. I am comfortable in the medical arena- to a certain point, minus any blood and guts stories. I listened intently as he described the specifics of his job. It truly was interesting. You can call me a geek, but I like numbers, which is probably why statistics and math were some of my more fun subjects in school and he was happy to share numbers and more statistics.
Before I knew it, that one hour time slot was almost over and the art exhibit was about to begin. Because of the content, I thought he might just enjoy seeing that side of medicine outside of the numbers and the office or hospital. He was, how shall I say it? …like an eager beaver on a log in the lake! We decided to take my car-a control thing for me, and he could ride along. Once at the art exhibit, where the liquor and wine as well as the heavy appetizers were complimentary, he handed me a glass of wine and had a few himself. Because I was “working the room” and saying my hello’s after promising just an hour, I truly lost track of him and his location at the exhibit. The exhibit wasn’t huge, but there were probably a good 100 people or so there for the two floors. Probably because I am so use to attending these types of events or functions solo, I wasn’t too attentive in all honesty to him. After almost an hour, he came to me and announced he was ready to leave and get some real food. As we walked out from the exhibit, he said he wanted to drive to a place across town. Well, I was sensing a tad difference in his gait and thought he might even be a little intoxicated. We were walking to my car and he grabbed my hand to hold…wait just a minute, friend! Hold it, right there…I’m not ready for that!
We arrived at a small restaurant downtown, against his desire to go clear across town, but really close to our original meeting spot. When we sat at the table, before the waitress even had a chance to go over specials or anything, he ordered a bottle of “the nicest red wine you have for my lady friend and me to share.” RADAR! Mayday, I think we are getting ready to crash! But, dismissed the hypersensitivity side as, well, that could be nice to share. He ordered a real meal, meat and potatoes with a salad while I ordered a light fish smaller portioned meal. As the meal was being prepped in the kitchen, we continued small talk and he drank one after another glass of wine. I had barely finished my first glass and he was already on his third when our food arrived. By this time, I had truly honed in to the fact he was indeed intoxicated and I was sharing my night with a nervous and probable man who had some issues with at least alcohol, maybe more. Then, out of some strange, neurotic twist he started to shove a bite of his steak towards my mouth. Oh no way! You are not feeding me or even trying to! That only happens when you love someone and you are sweetly sharing…not like this! But, he was…and I turned away.
Then, I heard the melodious sounds of Bocelli playing in the background. Trying desperately to change an awkward moment into something…anything, I asked if he knew who was singing. He did and I asked if he understood what Bocelli was singing in Italian. Well, to my surprise he did, affirming that first impression of Italian features. Having spent almost five years living in Italy, I understood most of what was being sung and asked, “Ti parla italiano?” (Do you speak Italian?) and with a look of love and wonder, he said, “ma certo, Roberto mi chiama.” (But of course, my name is Robert-in italian). So our conversation turned to Italy and his parents having emigrated from Sicily, coincidentally where I had lived. I thought maybe things might turn around. Nope, not that lucky because he announced that his parents were now living in New York and “they are going to love you!” What did you say? Did you just they “they are going to love you?” Why, yes you did! I know my ears did not deceive me and as he leaned over to kiss me, I said, “I think it’s time for me to go.” I’m pretty sure we sat in almost silence until the waitress came. He polished off the remainder of the wine, paid for the meal and I was doing the fast walk race to my car, with him trailing behind.
As we drove on to meeting place number one, I honestly was going at least ten miles over the posted 15 limit for the city and praying not to be pulled over by one of those little cop cars with two wheels and a helmet policing the city streets at night. I don’t need that too tonight! I have had about all I can handle for the Friday! Lord, my plate is full-no more mashed potatoes please! I can’t remember anything he said as I drove to the original meeting place. I know I was thinking the seconds seemed like hours and the minutes were like days. He did explain that he parked in the parking garage as we were getting closer. Too freakin’ bad, buddy, your ass is getting kicked to the curb, literally. Out he went onto the side street as I waved good-bye and good riddance! Way too much for me on this night-or wait, better to say he had too much! I'm sure we've all heard they old saying: the doctor is “in” but for me, this doctor was “out!”
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Here's what people are saying this week
Following are comments sent privately on this new blog of wild and hilarious One Date Wonders!
---"Welcome to my world! Welcome to my world!!" And everyone is so sweet and mean well, but some of the people they want to set me up with...uugh!"- from Jill in Virginia.
--"OMG! I LOVE IT!!! I put your blog in my favorites. It will be the first thing I check every Monday morning!" from Barbara in Virginia.
--"Too cute! Love the sitting in the chair and pulling weeds! Looking forward to reading more!" from Georgia in Virginia.
--"This is hilarious!"-from Kristen in Virginia.
--"One date wonder girl? Guess it's better than two date mistake girl!"-from Tom in Virginia.
--"Your first two are real good; they are hilarious!"- from Tom in Virginia.
--"You are a better person than me! The nerve of people, honestly!"- from Vanessa in Virginia.
--"What a great idea!"- from Patti in Florida.
--"YOU CAN DO IT!!"- from Connie in Florida.
--"Date #1 was terrified by your brilliance...at least he eliminated himself early in the game!... #2 has no potential!...Don't give up!"- from Lynne in Virginia.
-"Pretty funny stuff, sweetie!"- from Jim in Virginia.
-"Very funny stuff!"- from Rosa, unknown location.
-"I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"- from Sarah in Virginia.
-"Cute - made me cringe a few times - but got a giggle out of it!
good luck with the book - sign me up for a copy!"- from Heather in Spain.
-Glad I'm not there anymore!"- from Elaine in Hawaii.
--"Just read your blog...LOL!"-from Leonora in Virginia.
--"Good for you!"-from Lauren in Virginia.
--"Thanks!!! So funny, good job...will keep up on your "adventures"!"- from Katie in Germany.
A special thanks to everyone who is checking in and spreading the word! It's been a fun week!:-)
---"Welcome to my world! Welcome to my world!!" And everyone is so sweet and mean well, but some of the people they want to set me up with...uugh!"- from Jill in Virginia.
--"OMG! I LOVE IT!!! I put your blog in my favorites. It will be the first thing I check every Monday morning!" from Barbara in Virginia.
--"Too cute! Love the sitting in the chair and pulling weeds! Looking forward to reading more!" from Georgia in Virginia.
--"This is hilarious!"-from Kristen in Virginia.
--"One date wonder girl? Guess it's better than two date mistake girl!"-from Tom in Virginia.
--"Your first two are real good; they are hilarious!"- from Tom in Virginia.
--"You are a better person than me! The nerve of people, honestly!"- from Vanessa in Virginia.
--"What a great idea!"- from Patti in Florida.
--"YOU CAN DO IT!!"- from Connie in Florida.
--"Date #1 was terrified by your brilliance...at least he eliminated himself early in the game!... #2 has no potential!...Don't give up!"- from Lynne in Virginia.
-"Pretty funny stuff, sweetie!"- from Jim in Virginia.
-"Very funny stuff!"- from Rosa, unknown location.
-"I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"- from Sarah in Virginia.
-"Cute - made me cringe a few times - but got a giggle out of it!
good luck with the book - sign me up for a copy!"- from Heather in Spain.
-Glad I'm not there anymore!"- from Elaine in Hawaii.
--"Just read your blog...LOL!"-from Leonora in Virginia.
--"Good for you!"-from Lauren in Virginia.
--"Thanks!!! So funny, good job...will keep up on your "adventures"!"- from Katie in Germany.
A special thanks to everyone who is checking in and spreading the word! It's been a fun week!:-)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Date #2...the Race Is On...
The Race is On…
So, pulling my beautiful lace big girl panties up and moving on, I turned to friends for my second outing. I trusted that they have known me for years and would know what I liked, didn’t like and would surely find me a guy.
One afternoon, my friend Julie called to say she knew this banker guy, Bill, that was single and a super guy; a little older than I, but he liked golf and boating too. Had two kids in college, and would probably be a lot of fun to hang out with. I said sure, I would like to meet him and go from there. Julie arranged a quick meet together over a lunch shared with a group of people. He was handsome, but definitely a little older than what I would ideally choose, but hey, I am up for meeting new people. He had a good sense of humor and indeed when we started talking about golf, I really became interested. Plus, he threw in a little banking knowledge and I was in-like Flynn! He asked for my number and I gave it-easy as that.
Over the next few weeks we talked on the phone quite a bit. He called in the mornings while I was making my way to the office just to see what my big plans for the day consisted of. How nice! He shared his multiple meeting schedules and how busy the banking business was. I was interested. After all, I was in charge of my finances now and getting the “inside” scoop was really cool! One day when he asked if I would like to get together over the weekend, I said sure, why not. When he told me maybe Sunday after church he could pick me up and make me dinner, I was completely in awe! WOW!! This guy is going to make me dinner! How cool is that? “Plus,” he said, “the race is on.”
Well, over the next few days, I thought about that last sentence: the race is on. What race? The Preakness is on Saturday’s. Triple Crown isn’t even close to happening. What in the world code is that he is speaking? The race is on…perplexing. Just running with it, yes, the race is on…whatever that means.
Sunday service was great! I was half listening to the pastor preach, but rejoicing in the good ol’ gospel music and singing praises of “I have a date” after this. After service, I drove to the parking lot of our rendezvous point to meet Bill. He picked me up in his Jeep and we headed off to his house on the water for the race. He was wildly excited and talking about his home made chicken salad he would be making and it was his grandmother’s recipe. How sweet; he’s showing a sensitive side and even sharing grandma’s recipe with me. There’s some potential here. We drove for what seemed like an hour, way back through winding roads, swamp land…Where the hell is this guy taking me? Finally, we turned off the highway onto a small, two lane paved road skirting the waterway lined with old colonial style homes and beautiful landscaped lawns. He turned left into the driveway of a quaint, colonial cottage. How cute! There were pretty flowers in the bed and roses in full bloom: a girl could really like this garden!
As we entered the cottage through the side door, he politely showed me the restroom through the kitchen and then did something so man-cave-like: sat comfortably in the big chair and turned on the television, exclaiming “the race is on!” Without certainty of what he was talking about, I asked “What race?” THE RACE”, he explained. Clueless, I asked what race again. Well, the answer was right there in front of me: on full 52 inches of high definition, complete with surround sound- Nascar. A bunch of cars lined up getting ready to go. Are you kidding me? I know nothing of Nascar and auto racing! Being a gentleman, he tried to explain. For probably forty minutes I watched these cars go round and round, bumping into each other, spinning, stopping, re-starting and all the while he is trying to explain the who’s who of auto-racing, positioning, why they are jockeying for position, the pay out at the end, etc. It was totally reminding me of Larry the Cable Guy’s short skit on auto-racing and the maxi sliding into position! That is truly the extent of my knowledge on Nascar. What is going on? Despite Bill’s attempts to share his obvious passion of auto-racing, I wasn’t buying it. And, I was stuck-in a house across from the water and inside on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching colorful hamsters…aka cars…go round and round on some track. It was loud and obnoxious and completely out of my realm of knowledge, much less my interest.
So, I did what any good girl would do: excused myself to go for a walk and check out the waterfront neighborhood filled with mosquitoes and pray to be carried away on this glorious, God given Sunday! As I walked the great outdoors, I thought of Rule #2: Never get stranded without a way out! I probably walked outside for an hour, returning to find him in the exact same spot he was in when I left: that big, chair in front of the boob-tube watching cars go round and round! What to do? In jest, I was thinking that John Lennon song: I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the wheels go round and round…I really love to watch them roll.” Oh wait, that might have been a different trip! I grabbed a couple of plastic grocery bags and headed out to the garden to pull weeds. Yep, you are reading correctly. I did bag some five bags of yard debris and weeds in Bill’s yard for the next hour or so while the race was on! He was lucky…a cute, yard girl for free! A little different than a pool boy, but a yard girl just the same! All he really needed me to say was, “honey, can I get you a cold one?” and it was a dream come true! What a joke! By this time, I was wondering: where’s grandma’s chicken salad?
To my surprise, he came out side and announced the final thirty laps, which means the race would soon be over. It was the most exciting time of the race, according to Bill. In my brunette head I was thinking: “my dream has come true-the nightmare is ending!” My stomach is eating my backbone and there’s no sign of any chicken doing anything, much less cookin’!” He couldn’t believe I had been out pulling weeds, but thanked me none the less and invited me in to share the last moments of the race. He continued to explain the minor bumps and crashes, who pushed who out of what lead and it would all be over in maybe thirty minutes. Thank God! As one crash led to another; finally that damn checkered flag was waved. Then, without a beat another crash-it was all over! The winner of the race was the one in the lead at the time of the crash. What? You are kidding, right? They can’t even finish, like the horses and cross the finish line? Nope! The race was over.
What a ridiculous day! And the day wasn’t even done. I still had to wait for chicken salad and take that hour long ride through the winding trails of North Carolina and drive back to Virginia. The chicken couldn’t cook fast enough and I couldn’t eat any faster than my kids trying to scarf down a once-in-a-blue moon McDonald’s happy meal! By the drive back, I was spent. My patience meter was pegged and I was working that last bit, digging deep. Poor Bill was still going on and on about the race while I was looking out the Jeep window counting trees as they passed by. Arriving at the my car, I bid a cordial good-bye to Bill and thanked my lucky stars this day was done-stick a fork in that one!
So, pulling my beautiful lace big girl panties up and moving on, I turned to friends for my second outing. I trusted that they have known me for years and would know what I liked, didn’t like and would surely find me a guy.
One afternoon, my friend Julie called to say she knew this banker guy, Bill, that was single and a super guy; a little older than I, but he liked golf and boating too. Had two kids in college, and would probably be a lot of fun to hang out with. I said sure, I would like to meet him and go from there. Julie arranged a quick meet together over a lunch shared with a group of people. He was handsome, but definitely a little older than what I would ideally choose, but hey, I am up for meeting new people. He had a good sense of humor and indeed when we started talking about golf, I really became interested. Plus, he threw in a little banking knowledge and I was in-like Flynn! He asked for my number and I gave it-easy as that.
Over the next few weeks we talked on the phone quite a bit. He called in the mornings while I was making my way to the office just to see what my big plans for the day consisted of. How nice! He shared his multiple meeting schedules and how busy the banking business was. I was interested. After all, I was in charge of my finances now and getting the “inside” scoop was really cool! One day when he asked if I would like to get together over the weekend, I said sure, why not. When he told me maybe Sunday after church he could pick me up and make me dinner, I was completely in awe! WOW!! This guy is going to make me dinner! How cool is that? “Plus,” he said, “the race is on.”
Well, over the next few days, I thought about that last sentence: the race is on. What race? The Preakness is on Saturday’s. Triple Crown isn’t even close to happening. What in the world code is that he is speaking? The race is on…perplexing. Just running with it, yes, the race is on…whatever that means.
Sunday service was great! I was half listening to the pastor preach, but rejoicing in the good ol’ gospel music and singing praises of “I have a date” after this. After service, I drove to the parking lot of our rendezvous point to meet Bill. He picked me up in his Jeep and we headed off to his house on the water for the race. He was wildly excited and talking about his home made chicken salad he would be making and it was his grandmother’s recipe. How sweet; he’s showing a sensitive side and even sharing grandma’s recipe with me. There’s some potential here. We drove for what seemed like an hour, way back through winding roads, swamp land…Where the hell is this guy taking me? Finally, we turned off the highway onto a small, two lane paved road skirting the waterway lined with old colonial style homes and beautiful landscaped lawns. He turned left into the driveway of a quaint, colonial cottage. How cute! There were pretty flowers in the bed and roses in full bloom: a girl could really like this garden!
As we entered the cottage through the side door, he politely showed me the restroom through the kitchen and then did something so man-cave-like: sat comfortably in the big chair and turned on the television, exclaiming “the race is on!” Without certainty of what he was talking about, I asked “What race?” THE RACE”, he explained. Clueless, I asked what race again. Well, the answer was right there in front of me: on full 52 inches of high definition, complete with surround sound- Nascar. A bunch of cars lined up getting ready to go. Are you kidding me? I know nothing of Nascar and auto racing! Being a gentleman, he tried to explain. For probably forty minutes I watched these cars go round and round, bumping into each other, spinning, stopping, re-starting and all the while he is trying to explain the who’s who of auto-racing, positioning, why they are jockeying for position, the pay out at the end, etc. It was totally reminding me of Larry the Cable Guy’s short skit on auto-racing and the maxi sliding into position! That is truly the extent of my knowledge on Nascar. What is going on? Despite Bill’s attempts to share his obvious passion of auto-racing, I wasn’t buying it. And, I was stuck-in a house across from the water and inside on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching colorful hamsters…aka cars…go round and round on some track. It was loud and obnoxious and completely out of my realm of knowledge, much less my interest.
So, I did what any good girl would do: excused myself to go for a walk and check out the waterfront neighborhood filled with mosquitoes and pray to be carried away on this glorious, God given Sunday! As I walked the great outdoors, I thought of Rule #2: Never get stranded without a way out! I probably walked outside for an hour, returning to find him in the exact same spot he was in when I left: that big, chair in front of the boob-tube watching cars go round and round! What to do? In jest, I was thinking that John Lennon song: I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the wheels go round and round…I really love to watch them roll.” Oh wait, that might have been a different trip! I grabbed a couple of plastic grocery bags and headed out to the garden to pull weeds. Yep, you are reading correctly. I did bag some five bags of yard debris and weeds in Bill’s yard for the next hour or so while the race was on! He was lucky…a cute, yard girl for free! A little different than a pool boy, but a yard girl just the same! All he really needed me to say was, “honey, can I get you a cold one?” and it was a dream come true! What a joke! By this time, I was wondering: where’s grandma’s chicken salad?
To my surprise, he came out side and announced the final thirty laps, which means the race would soon be over. It was the most exciting time of the race, according to Bill. In my brunette head I was thinking: “my dream has come true-the nightmare is ending!” My stomach is eating my backbone and there’s no sign of any chicken doing anything, much less cookin’!” He couldn’t believe I had been out pulling weeds, but thanked me none the less and invited me in to share the last moments of the race. He continued to explain the minor bumps and crashes, who pushed who out of what lead and it would all be over in maybe thirty minutes. Thank God! As one crash led to another; finally that damn checkered flag was waved. Then, without a beat another crash-it was all over! The winner of the race was the one in the lead at the time of the crash. What? You are kidding, right? They can’t even finish, like the horses and cross the finish line? Nope! The race was over.
What a ridiculous day! And the day wasn’t even done. I still had to wait for chicken salad and take that hour long ride through the winding trails of North Carolina and drive back to Virginia. The chicken couldn’t cook fast enough and I couldn’t eat any faster than my kids trying to scarf down a once-in-a-blue moon McDonald’s happy meal! By the drive back, I was spent. My patience meter was pegged and I was working that last bit, digging deep. Poor Bill was still going on and on about the race while I was looking out the Jeep window counting trees as they passed by. Arriving at the my car, I bid a cordial good-bye to Bill and thanked my lucky stars this day was done-stick a fork in that one!
First Date-For Real
My first date-after nearly 20 years: All I knew from the dating service was that he was six feet tall, 2 inches, about 185 pounds. Brown hair and blue eyes (like me). Recently divorced (like me). Had 3 children and enjoyed boating, tennis, traveling and keeping in shape. Was a professional and desired someone of the same caliber. That’s me!! With exception to tennis-golf is my thing! But, hey, we don’t have to share EVERYTHING in common, right?
The girls in my office directed me on what to wear the night before. Rule #1: No pantyhose! But, a cute black skirt, a nice colorful top and those sexy black shoes were a must! So, I followed their advice, laid everything out the night before and even sprinkled lavender on my pillow for a good night’s rest. Tomorrow would be the big day.
I woke thinking: this is going to be great! My prince charming was going to waltz in on the first date, knight in shining armor and I’ll be swept away-love at first sight. It’s every girls’ fantasies! We want to be rescued from the chaotic life we call normal. He will arrive and make it better-kiss away the pain and be sexy too! Tall, dark and handsome-that real dream guy! I had it all in my head! I don’t think I slept a wink, but was a good nervous, until morning arrived and getting dressed had to happen. So, I put on that cute little black skirt-compact cotton suit with the bright pink v-shaped top. Added a little glitter to the chest and my South China Sea pearls for a touch of elegance, even for lunch. Final touch: those spicy black Cole-Hahn shoes and I was good to go! Yippy- skippy! Ready or not prince charming, here I come!
The location was pre-arranged at a spot I had never been to. I looked over the lunch menu on line and was confident a nice Greek salad would do. I felt like a virgin in the whore-house….completely out of place and super nervous. But hey, this is a new experience and I am up for it! I arrived a bit early so I sat at the bar, drinking water with lemon. I curiously peered at each man approaching the meeting spot. “Is that him? No! Thank God!” One by one, men came and went, some I thought…”maybe...” “Oh, I hope not.” Maybe?” But, then he arrived. Strolling across the brick paved parkway and fountains with a confidence. I was immediately attracted to him, despite the cheesy sunglasses that were bigger than necessary for any day of sun. Dressed in a suit and walking tall-of course, he’s 6’2”, he walked in through the glass doors. He looked all the part of prince charming! We greeted each other with a polite “hello” and quick hand shake. (Are we doing business here?-Did I miss something? We checked in and sat at a table set aside for us.
Wow! He is a prince charming! Waltzed right in with confidence and dressed impeccably. He obviously is confident, smart and probably very successful. The suit is professionally cut, shoes to match (brown with blue pin stripes and a flattering-to match the eyes, light blue shirt) and not a hair out of place. Although I look like I have it together, this guy definitely does! He took the lead, following the wait staff to our cozy table in the back; like an unsure puppy, I am following. I am a nervous wreck. Normally steady on my feet, I am a bit shaky and palms sweating! Good thing I wore that sleeveless top! I think sweat was rolling down my underarms!
Shortly after being seated, he excused himself to the restroom to wash his hands….
Oh…get out! He is ducking out the back door- for real! What? Say it isn’t so! I’m cute…brown hair, blue eyes, smart, got a good job with a 401 (K), health benefits and savings…I have no physical disfigurements: two arms, two legs, physically fit and wearing a skirt-for Pete’s sake! My eyes blink at the same time and at a normal time interval. I usually wear pants!! What is going on? You can only imagine: my mind is racing. What did I say? Does he not like black? Reminds him of the funeral last week? Hot pink isn’t his favorite color? Holy crap Bat man! I’ve just been ditched on the first date and I barely even had a chance to say hello!
For real…this was my first experience after nearly 20 years of dating! I paid good money for this dating service thanks to my grand father passing and living me a little to play with! This... my first date was an absolute walk out! Never saw the guy again! He went to wash his hands and washed his hands of me! We never even got down and dirty in any way, shape or form! So not what I thought!! It lasted all of maybe ten minutes and I think I said maybe ten words- “Hi, my name is…” etc.! I sat there eating my salad and thinking, “surely this is not happening”…but it was and did! But, the salad was good: feta over mixed greens and not too much with the most delicious summer, ripe tomatoes. And, reasonably priced-a bonus!
Talk about trying to regroup after that one! When I got back to the office, everyone was dying to know how it went. I laughed it off, said he got an important phone call and had to leave. Sure…he had to be rescued! Why? I cannot answer that. Talk about sending a girl into a tail spin, readdressing all kinds of things. First date an absolute flop; beyond words of flop-still trying to find the words to fit that one and it’s been well over a year and many other dates since! Hence, the book!
So, let’s try to figure out date one: Maybe, just maybe, it was written all over my face the expectation of prince charming waltzing into my life on that Wednesday. Maybe, just maybe, I was too stunning for lunch! (See that high sense of humor and silver lining thing!) Or, could it be that while in the bathroom he received an emergency text message or phone call that had to be taken care of right away, without even a “good-bye, thanks for the appointment, but gotta’ go!” I will never know. But, I go back to those words of encouragement my parents always shared: when something bizarre happens with another person, it’s usually something in them, not you! Thanks, mom and dad! Whatever the case may be, I left that date in my sharp, black, compact cotton suit with those sexy shoes on determined to get out there and do it again! For better or worse experiences in dating, if I were to experience anything, I would have to pick myself up and try, try again! Here come those parental words of encouragement, just like mom calling when I was training for my first marathon (with a crazy southern accent): “You can do it!!”J
The girls in my office directed me on what to wear the night before. Rule #1: No pantyhose! But, a cute black skirt, a nice colorful top and those sexy black shoes were a must! So, I followed their advice, laid everything out the night before and even sprinkled lavender on my pillow for a good night’s rest. Tomorrow would be the big day.
I woke thinking: this is going to be great! My prince charming was going to waltz in on the first date, knight in shining armor and I’ll be swept away-love at first sight. It’s every girls’ fantasies! We want to be rescued from the chaotic life we call normal. He will arrive and make it better-kiss away the pain and be sexy too! Tall, dark and handsome-that real dream guy! I had it all in my head! I don’t think I slept a wink, but was a good nervous, until morning arrived and getting dressed had to happen. So, I put on that cute little black skirt-compact cotton suit with the bright pink v-shaped top. Added a little glitter to the chest and my South China Sea pearls for a touch of elegance, even for lunch. Final touch: those spicy black Cole-Hahn shoes and I was good to go! Yippy- skippy! Ready or not prince charming, here I come!
The location was pre-arranged at a spot I had never been to. I looked over the lunch menu on line and was confident a nice Greek salad would do. I felt like a virgin in the whore-house….completely out of place and super nervous. But hey, this is a new experience and I am up for it! I arrived a bit early so I sat at the bar, drinking water with lemon. I curiously peered at each man approaching the meeting spot. “Is that him? No! Thank God!” One by one, men came and went, some I thought…”maybe...” “Oh, I hope not.” Maybe?” But, then he arrived. Strolling across the brick paved parkway and fountains with a confidence. I was immediately attracted to him, despite the cheesy sunglasses that were bigger than necessary for any day of sun. Dressed in a suit and walking tall-of course, he’s 6’2”, he walked in through the glass doors. He looked all the part of prince charming! We greeted each other with a polite “hello” and quick hand shake. (Are we doing business here?-Did I miss something? We checked in and sat at a table set aside for us.
Wow! He is a prince charming! Waltzed right in with confidence and dressed impeccably. He obviously is confident, smart and probably very successful. The suit is professionally cut, shoes to match (brown with blue pin stripes and a flattering-to match the eyes, light blue shirt) and not a hair out of place. Although I look like I have it together, this guy definitely does! He took the lead, following the wait staff to our cozy table in the back; like an unsure puppy, I am following. I am a nervous wreck. Normally steady on my feet, I am a bit shaky and palms sweating! Good thing I wore that sleeveless top! I think sweat was rolling down my underarms!
Shortly after being seated, he excused himself to the restroom to wash his hands….
Oh…get out! He is ducking out the back door- for real! What? Say it isn’t so! I’m cute…brown hair, blue eyes, smart, got a good job with a 401 (K), health benefits and savings…I have no physical disfigurements: two arms, two legs, physically fit and wearing a skirt-for Pete’s sake! My eyes blink at the same time and at a normal time interval. I usually wear pants!! What is going on? You can only imagine: my mind is racing. What did I say? Does he not like black? Reminds him of the funeral last week? Hot pink isn’t his favorite color? Holy crap Bat man! I’ve just been ditched on the first date and I barely even had a chance to say hello!
For real…this was my first experience after nearly 20 years of dating! I paid good money for this dating service thanks to my grand father passing and living me a little to play with! This... my first date was an absolute walk out! Never saw the guy again! He went to wash his hands and washed his hands of me! We never even got down and dirty in any way, shape or form! So not what I thought!! It lasted all of maybe ten minutes and I think I said maybe ten words- “Hi, my name is…” etc.! I sat there eating my salad and thinking, “surely this is not happening”…but it was and did! But, the salad was good: feta over mixed greens and not too much with the most delicious summer, ripe tomatoes. And, reasonably priced-a bonus!
Talk about trying to regroup after that one! When I got back to the office, everyone was dying to know how it went. I laughed it off, said he got an important phone call and had to leave. Sure…he had to be rescued! Why? I cannot answer that. Talk about sending a girl into a tail spin, readdressing all kinds of things. First date an absolute flop; beyond words of flop-still trying to find the words to fit that one and it’s been well over a year and many other dates since! Hence, the book!
So, let’s try to figure out date one: Maybe, just maybe, it was written all over my face the expectation of prince charming waltzing into my life on that Wednesday. Maybe, just maybe, I was too stunning for lunch! (See that high sense of humor and silver lining thing!) Or, could it be that while in the bathroom he received an emergency text message or phone call that had to be taken care of right away, without even a “good-bye, thanks for the appointment, but gotta’ go!” I will never know. But, I go back to those words of encouragement my parents always shared: when something bizarre happens with another person, it’s usually something in them, not you! Thanks, mom and dad! Whatever the case may be, I left that date in my sharp, black, compact cotton suit with those sexy shoes on determined to get out there and do it again! For better or worse experiences in dating, if I were to experience anything, I would have to pick myself up and try, try again! Here come those parental words of encouragement, just like mom calling when I was training for my first marathon (with a crazy southern accent): “You can do it!!”J
One Date Wonder- the start of it all...
“One Date Wonders” began as a laughing matter that even with my high sense of humor I could not make up these dating experiences after being newly divorced from a seventeen year marriage. Most of my friends, both single and married, were baffled by the experiences shared. Each encouraged me to keep a journal of the wildly hilarious, but true moments. To protect the innocent, no real identities are exposed, but the stories shared in the pages to follow are absolute truths from the baby blue eyes I view the world through.
In sharing my experiences, I am hoping that somewhere out in this vast world another man or woman may learn that they too are experiencing something so bizarre, but real in the dating world and can find the humor or silver lining in each circumstance and encounter with another. If not, maybe this is the bedtime humor you’ve been searching for despite the countless Cosmo magazines and Facebook quizzes from friends.
I married my first year of college, back in 1991, after only dating a dozen or so guys from high school and around town. Lots happened in the 17 years of marriage: 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and many moves for his career and the in betweens that most all go through when growing apart. After divorcing and not knowing which way to turn to meet someone or even how to date, what the rules were now, I turned to all avenues: online dating, dating classes, a professional dating service and friends. I read a few books and joined many “clubs” for singles. Because I was ready to “experience” dating all over, I didn’t say “no” to any invitations or opportunities, thinking an evening or lunch out might be a time to learn something of another and more importantly, learn something about myself. Boy, was I right!
I have always kept a journal; this time I open my journal to you. I am “an ordinary girl, living an extraordinary life” as I have always said to those who ask. I live simply, but honestly, work a regular job, live in a regular home and avoid drama as much as I possibly can. My hopes are that others may see that their dating experiences are not in vain, but building them for what they will and will not accept to make a lasting relationship, if that’s what they desire. I stand by the adage of “happiness is the journey, not the destination.” My sincere hope is you will laugh and enjoy these stories. If you learn from this, Great! If you just have a good laugh before bedtime, that’s even better!
I have always kept a journal; this time I open my journal to you. I am “an ordinary girl, living an extraordinary life” as I have always said to those who ask. I live simply, but honestly, work a regular job, live in a regular home and avoid drama as much as I possibly can. My hopes are that others may see that their dating experiences are not in vain, but building them for what they will and will not accept to make a lasting relationship, if that’s what they desire. I stand by the adage of “happiness is the journey, not the destination.” My sincere hope is you will laugh and enjoy these stories. If you learn from this, Great! If you just have a good laugh before bedtime, that’s even better!
Enjoy! Date Number One Next...
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